"Address unknown" by George Tabone

G

Girgej

Active member
Hi to all, this is my first short, so don't expect anything spectacular. These are a some pictures : Title, Photo (which story is based on) and Photo (of me during shooting)

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Synopsis : A man receives a letter from a girlfriend he had the previous summer when he was on holiday abroad, and sets out to go find her. The only problem is he does not remember where she lives.

Link to download Movie : http://www.dvxfest.com/questfest/index.php?id=3330005555

Poster coming soon...
 
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It was really boring, too many zoom in and outs. The music was ok. You couldn't really say much to the acting. There was more camera and editing than the acting. It was an okay story. Just a guy trying to find an address, nothing exciting. Hope to see you improve on your next film :)
 
I lost interest pretty fast. There's really nothing interesting going on. The music is too repetitive and the 4 split screen was pretty distracting.

But since you say this was your first short film, it's not bad. Keep working on it and next time try and write a story that engages the viewer more. :)
 
I really liked the idea for your film and thought you had some really nice shots. The 4 way screen was a nice touch and added to the craziness of him searching for this address/girl. My problem lies mainly in the beginning with him opening the letter. I didn't see any recognition or really any kind of angst about finding this girl/location again. He was kind of blank and that made me not really care if he ever found her or not. What was the reason for the calendar months changing? Why did he have to wait so long to go back? Also, the girl in the 4 way shot looks like she's on a beach, but he ends up finding a building. Did he find the wrong place? With your ending, I needed something more in the beginning or else I just feel like, "That's it?" Also, the score gets to be a tad too much at times. In the beginning it's a little too dramatic (I think if the payoff is in his expression or something this might not be that big a deal) and there are some dramatic switches to different music that were abrupt for what seemed like no reason.

Overall, I have to say that this was a very good short for your first attempt and the scenery/architecture is just beautiful. Good Job and thanks for sharing!
 
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