So I've been away from the boards for a while. I was parked at 2999 and planning on something fun for 3000. Instead, I'm sitting in a hospital room with my mother, who is at the end of a year-long battle with cancer.
This is the hardest part. Even though we've had a year (almost exactly) since the diagnosis - a year to think about it, a year to prepare - I'm still not ready for this. Not at all.
I'm 33. My mother is 62 - way too young. She held up quite well for most of the last year, but started declining only in the last few days. Admitted on Tuesday, we've sat here each day, watching her struggle under heavy sedation, waiting for the inevitable. Of course, she's a bit stubborn and is hanging on longer than she should.
This sucks. There's no better way to say it. It sucks. Watching some one die an inch at a time is frustrating, saddening, and quite honestly... exhausting.
I figured it was time to get back to the forum rather than hanging back to leave room for something that I do not have the time, much less the spiritual or emotional energy, to complete any time soon. This is a good place to hang out, and despite a few toxic attitudes that have popped up it is full of some really cool people. Some we know, some we don't, but it's a great place nonetheless. And I need to be in a great place right now.
I ask for whatever you have, be it prayer or positive thoughts or "good vibes," not just for me, but for my family, and especially for my mother. We've all told her we love her. We've all told her that it's okay to let go. True to form, she's doing this on her own terms.
Thanks to all the great folks around here for being what they are.
Peace,
Alex
(C2V)
This is the hardest part. Even though we've had a year (almost exactly) since the diagnosis - a year to think about it, a year to prepare - I'm still not ready for this. Not at all.
I'm 33. My mother is 62 - way too young. She held up quite well for most of the last year, but started declining only in the last few days. Admitted on Tuesday, we've sat here each day, watching her struggle under heavy sedation, waiting for the inevitable. Of course, she's a bit stubborn and is hanging on longer than she should.
This sucks. There's no better way to say it. It sucks. Watching some one die an inch at a time is frustrating, saddening, and quite honestly... exhausting.
I figured it was time to get back to the forum rather than hanging back to leave room for something that I do not have the time, much less the spiritual or emotional energy, to complete any time soon. This is a good place to hang out, and despite a few toxic attitudes that have popped up it is full of some really cool people. Some we know, some we don't, but it's a great place nonetheless. And I need to be in a great place right now.
I ask for whatever you have, be it prayer or positive thoughts or "good vibes," not just for me, but for my family, and especially for my mother. We've all told her we love her. We've all told her that it's okay to let go. True to form, she's doing this on her own terms.
Thanks to all the great folks around here for being what they are.
Peace,
Alex
(C2V)
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