scene from action/mystery movie

orchidsofwrath

orchidsofwrath

Active member
Hi all,
I'm shooting a long-short/mini feature (20-25 min) and I wanted some crit on how its looking. Its a mystery/action/mafia movie. In a nutshell, the main character used to be in the mafia but they wiped his memory and kicked him out.
This is one short scene from the movie. I'm using a naked HV20. Crits on the video, the audio, the editing, the shot comp, etc. would be so much appreciated. Being so close to a project makes it hard to look at it objectively.

Watch on Vimeo

Thanks so much!
 
loved it that was funny as hell, that deep voice with over acting and the fake brlt accent had me laughing my ass off very Python nice job
 
Jason Miller said:
loved it that was funny as hell, that deep voice with over acting and the fake brlt accent had me laughing my ass off very Python nice job
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Thanks for the crit jason miller. Is that a thanks or an... ouch? The character was supposed to be kinda screwy but it wasn't a comedy. I respect your opinion, I just don't quite know what you meant. You thought it was overacted and ridiculous?
 
I thought the guy in the chair was pretty good -- got an Ed Norton vibe from him. The heavy wasn't too convincing, partly cuz he just looked too dang young! Maybe that's not fair, but that's what I felt. I also didn't get a sense of menace from him.

Camera and sound seemed fine. It'd be nice if you could jazz up the prod design. Very uninteresting frame. Wasn't wild about the Heavy's wardrobe either. Did his scarf say "Ikea"?
 
brianluce said:
I thought the guy in the chair was pretty good -- got an Ed Norton vibe from him. The heavy wasn't too convincing, partly cuz he just looked too dang young! Maybe that's not fair, but that's what I felt. I also didn't get a sense of menace from him.

Camera and sound seemed fine. It'd be nice if you could jazz up the prod design. Very uninteresting frame. Wasn't wild about the Heavy's wardrobe either. Did his scarf say "Ikea"?
Click to expand...

Thanks so much for the crit! Yup. Tragic flaw. Were all 17-18 as its a school project. I wouldn't write a scipt that used adults since I know right now I don't get to boss around an adult actor but I didn't write the script. The scarf logo was a british soccer team.
I'll read up some more on shot composition. Your right now that I look at it the framings were pretty drab.
 
orchidsofwrath said:
Thanks for the crit jason miller. Is that a thanks or an... ouch? The character was supposed to be kinda screwy but it wasn't a comedy. I respect your opinion, I just don't quite know what you meant. You thought it was overacted and ridiculous?
Click to expand...

The sound was great, but yes, the British dude did over act. That's part of that Brit mobster genre but it was so noticeable that it was a distraction. I think his movements weren't natural. He wasn't lose. I have that problem sometimes. There's various ways to solve this a the story is still compelling in it's own right. The guy in the chair was pretty good. He was very low key, seemed like a guy in trouble (which was the point obviously). Not too heroic not too scared.

brianluce said:
I thought the guy in the chair was pretty good -- got an Ed Norton vibe from him. The heavy wasn't too convincing, partly cuz he just looked too dang young! Maybe that's not fair, but that's what I felt. I also didn't get a sense of menace from him.
Click to expand...

I think he smirked and "badguy laughed" too much. The overall composition was good. What makes it funny is his facial expressions. If he kept the actions he's doing but toned them and his facial movements down a little it would work better. Honestly he's not too bad until he does that thing where he swings his arm and says "It's you own fault". It gets corny there.

-Nate
 
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oh sorry about that, the guy in the chair was pretty good. I think the britsh sounding guy is way to young for that kind of role. I'm assuming there was a valid reason for the fake accent at some point in the story, but if he was supposed to come across as really British he failed. I thought he was trying to be funny, I liked the shot of him flipping the lighter
 
Jason Miller said:
oh sorry about that, the guy in the chair was pretty good. I think the britsh sounding guy is way to young for that kind of role. I'm assuming there was a valid reason for the fake accent at some point in the story, but if he was supposed to come across as really British he failed. I thought he was trying to be funny, I liked the shot of him flipping the lighter
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Well, he is actually british. His parents are British and he moved to the U.S. I think when he was 7. He had a full blown british accent when he was little. He's lost it a little and obviously in the film he was accentuating it. I think it was easier for him to be in character if he was using some kind of shindig when acting. I'm very dissapointed that it came across as funny. I have even worse actors in this film now I'm wondering if the whole thing is just a joke.
Your absolutely right that the accent doesn't contribute to the story. Non-the-less, I don't really want to deny him of the accent since he has a blast doing it.
He also is in theater, and in theater they exagerate alot since its live on stage and the audience is really far so you have to accentuate your expressions etc.
The one in the chair is me (for lack of a better idea). I'm not a real actor but I try.

Thanks for all the comments so far, everyone. I think the british one is a really good actor but I need to do my job to direct him better. I'd love even more feedback.
 
aww theater, the only cure for that is an empty photo frame.

have your actor deliver his lines, then get really close to him with the frame between the two of you and have him do it again, its the best and fastest way for him to understand that the people watching aren't 30 to 300 ft away from him. but rather right there with him.
 
Jason Miller said:
aww theater, the only cure for that is an empty photo frame.

have your actor deliver his lines, then get really close to him with the frame between the two of you and have him do it again, its the best and fastest way for him to understand that the people watching aren't 30 to 300 ft away from him. but rather right there with him.
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Wow, that is a good suggestion. I get a lot of theater actors and have to give them the "tone it down" speech. They're way overboard with their delivery but not bad actors really.

-Nate
 
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orchidsofwrath said:
Hi all,
I'm shooting a long-short/mini feature (20-25 min) and I wanted some crit on how its looking. Its a mystery/action/mafia movie. In a nutshell, the main character used to be in the mafia but they wiped his memory and kicked him out.
This is one short scene from the movie. I'm using a naked HV20. Crits on the video, the audio, the editing, the shot comp, etc. would be so much appreciated. Being so close to a project makes it hard to look at it objectively.

Watch on Vimeo

Thanks so much!
Click to expand...


Other's have noted some of the acting issues, so I'll comment on lighting. The lighting looks to be from both sides of the actors. However, the centers of their faces seem to be somewhat dark. This sort of gives a 'reddish' cast, which I find objectionable. Also, the shots of the guy in the chair, his face is pretty dark.

Now, if this scene took place in a seedy back room with one light from above... stereotypical 'bad guy torture scene' perhaps... but then one would expect the faces to be in shadow, and in fact expect that effect. But even so, using a bounce card to kick some like in to the shadowed areas is used to give some light for the actor to show emotion...

With the fairly high value background the 'lighting' just doesn't make it for me for a 'heavy' scene.

If you want the side light look, try setting up narrow slits coming from the side, and place flags, barriers, whatever, so that the backgrounds for the two shot angles are in low value.
 
This did seem like something that should be in some dank dungeon of doom somewhere in London.

-Nate
 
j1clark@ucsd.edu said:
Other's have noted some of the acting issues, so I'll comment on lighting. The lighting looks to be from both sides of the actors. However, the centers of their faces seem to be somewhat dark. This sort of gives a 'reddish' cast, which I find objectionable. Also, the shots of the guy in the chair, his face is pretty dark.

Now, if this scene took place in a seedy back room with one light from above... stereotypical 'bad guy torture scene' perhaps... but then one would expect the faces to be in shadow, and in fact expect that effect. But even so, using a bounce card to kick some like in to the shadowed areas is used to give some light for the actor to show emotion...

With the fairly high value background the 'lighting' just doesn't make it for me for a 'heavy' scene.

If you want the side light look, try setting up narrow slits coming from the side, and place flags, barriers, whatever, so that the backgrounds for the two shot angles are in low value.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the tips! I'm still learning lighting so this is really helpful. I gotta admit though I really didn't spend much time lighting this scene. Mostly I turn on about 1000 watts of lights so my sensor doesn't grain up. If I can make it look cool fine but more importantly the rigs need to be out of the shot as that room was only 10x12 feet big.
The way the story goes the scene had to be in his apartment. So I didn't want to make it look like a dungeon or anything. But I could have definetally done cooler stuff with the lights. Hopefully I can do lossfest and I'll actually put time into that!
 
orchidsofwrath said:
Hi all,
I'm shooting a long-short/mini feature (20-25 min) and I wanted some crit on how its looking. Its a mystery/action/mafia movie. In a nutshell, the main character used to be in the mafia but they wiped his memory and kicked him out.
This is one short scene from the movie. I'm using a naked HV20. Crits on the video, the audio, the editing, the shot comp, etc. would be so much appreciated. Being so close to a project makes it hard to look at it objectively.

Watch on Vimeo

Thanks so much!
Click to expand...

The only thing that I can say is, the acting was not that great. I was assuming, from reading your scene story, that the guys would be older. Which I found out that they are not. With that being said and having the acting not reach par, it's a okay short. Comp is above par and so is your editing.

When I'm working with a story that has no budget, I try to look for the right people that would play those characters. Never go into a script and put young people (Friends) in characters that call for much older cast. Mostly when you're dealing with a Mafia script, I would assume older, Italian, fat guy calling the shots. I don't want to go into detail, but I think you know what I mean.

Cheers,

Murray
 
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