POSSIBLE CHARLIE - One Man's Loss is Another Man's Loss

Hey Stinkpot (great name)

This was a great concept for a twilight film and I think you managed to pull it off. I like that you didnt explain who the takeover guys were but that his character was forced into change for the worse because of it. His actions create his own death. nice. I liked the use of the camera too, and some of the moves you pulled off.

If I was to offer any criticism, I'd say things could improve technically and if you had the time it would have been great to have seen a escalation of the events. Maybe he goes into work and no-one regonises him, or perhaps his ID is refused somewhere and then he notices his picture has changed on his card before we reveal the man in the house. I dunno, just something that shows a gradual increase in the severity of the situaion instead of the talky piece with the tramp. Finally I think it might have had more power if he had a real choice. You might feel he deserved his outcome a bit more if he had been put into choosing one of two paths.

But thats just me whittering, it doesnt take away that this was a good fun flick with a great story... What a bad day. He totally deserved it in my opinon....:-)
 
I was really intrigued by the story - it kept me guessing all the way to the end, but then the twist killed it for me. Technically you had some outstanding work here, I will be using some of your ideas on my next fest: I really like how you start a dialogue scene wide and then cut closer and closer and closer, it helps pull the audience in. My favorite shot is near the end, tight CU on Charlie, 5:35, brilliant man, I wish I would have done more stuff like that on mine.
 
Darkline said:
Hey Stinkpot (great name)

This was a great concept for a twilight film and I think you managed to pull it off. I like that you didnt explain who the takeover guys were but that his character was forced into change for the worse because of it. His actions create his own death. nice. I liked the use of the camera too, and some of the moves you pulled off.

If I was to offer any criticism, I'd say things could improve technically and if you had the time it would have been great to have seen a escalation of the events. Maybe he goes into work and no-one regonises him, or perhaps his ID is refused somewhere and then he notices his picture has changed on his card before we reveal the man in the house. I dunno, just something that shows a gradual increase in the severity of the situaion instead of the talky piece with the tramp. Finally I think it might have had more power if he had a real choice. You might feel he deserved his outcome a bit more if he had been put into choosing one of two paths.

But thats just me whittering, it doesnt take away that this was a good fun flick with a great story... What a bad day. He totally deserved it in my opinon....:-)
Click to expand...

Darkline, thanks so much for the thorough feedback and critique. I can't say enough how useful this is. I particularly enjoyed your film very much and many of your stylistic choices appeal to my taste so this means an awful lot.

gabrielflorit said:
I was really intrigued by the story - it kept me guessing all the way to the end, but then the twist killed it for me. Technically you had some outstanding work here, I will be using some of your ideas on my next fest: I really like how you start a dialogue scene wide and then cut closer and closer and closer, it helps pull the audience in. My favorite shot is near the end, tight CU on Charlie, 5:35, brilliant man, I wish I would have done more stuff like that on mine.
Click to expand...

Gabriel, sorry the ending didn't work for you. There were a couple of things we had to cut out due to time constraints and the whole "six minute" thing that may have enhanced the end but either way, it is what it is.

You are the first person to recognize (or at least give me credit for) the intentional "tightening" of my framing as the movie progressed. I'm not sure if it was too subtle or not but I am glad you caught it. Thanks for watching and critiquing!

:beer:
 
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