"Mary's Travel Brochure" by Drew Ott

Thanks Nick. My #1 goal going into each film is to make the viewer feel as sh*tty as possible.
 
Drew, that was a good story. The main qualm I had was with the sick woman's performance. From watching her deliver her lines, it seemed like she could have jumped out of bed at any time and run a marathon. Then the next thing, she's dead. As a director, you should have spiked her water with some heroine or something. That would have made her look more out of it... :-KnockedOut(D

EDIT: I only added that last part so you'd have something extra for your sig. :thumbsup:
 
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Thanks Tom. I agree with what you've said. I need to pay attention to those details more next time.

I'm not sure exactly what I should quote from that, but I think I know what I'm going to do.
 
Tom Marshall said:
Who was the cinematographer for that scene? Did you light it and run camera yourself or did someone else?
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For the hospital room scene?

Luis and I both lit and Luis was running camera.

All credit for the moments of quality in cinematography should go to Luis.
 
Hey,

Just caught the flick. I thought this was an emotional story, subtlely told. Decent acting for my money, good lighting, camera work and sound.

The story didn't really sell me. I just didn't think enough happened in it. The woman seemed to talk for a long time and it dodn't really push the story along. She started and ended saying about the same.

I thought this was a really serious project and was adequately told. I just didn't think the script was varied enough of the story compelling enough to sell me. But that's just me.
 
I thought this was really well done. The story itself is very subtle which is very difficult to pull off, so kudos to you for that.

This was very well lit and shot for the most part. Your lead pulled it off really well, although I wasn't a fan of the old woman's acting. Not quite convincing enough, especially for one who was dying in the next 4 minutes.

That aside, however, I did love how her story unfolded. The payoff with the ball in the elevator (creepy, btw) and ultimately the gurney as it passes by were great (the sound design on that was good too, I thought)

Nice work!!
 
Danielleus said:
Hey,

Just caught the flick. I thought this was an emotional story, subtlely told. Decent acting for my money, good lighting, camera work and sound.

The story didn't really sell me. I just didn't think enough happened in it. The woman seemed to talk for a long time and it dodn't really push the story along. She started and ended saying about the same.

I thought this was a really serious project and was adequately told. I just didn't think the script was varied enough of the story compelling enough to sell me. But that's just me.
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Thanks for the review. I need to learn that in a short film, there needs to be more going on the whole time. In a feature, there can be a long scene of dialogue because there are other bits of action that carry it along. In a short, if the whole thing is dialogue, it's not very interesting.

I learned a whole lot making this film. I think it was great practice for me, because I intend to make drama/dark comedies. This was 100% drama and I've learned that my "style" requires some comedic elements. It may not be as entertaining as my first film, but it was a story I felt I had to get out some time, and I also feel much more prepared to make a longer, better short film with a decent budget.
 
Hello there gents, just adding my own take.

I enjoyed this - indeed a subtle film and in comparison to the stronger impacts made my other films (with masked monsters, ghosts and other freaks!) it takes a moments breath to appreciate. (Especially if like me you watched dozens of films one after the other haha!)

The piece was well acted (i agree the mother could have been more 'ill') but it was a touching story, with an effective enough ending.
 
Nice work Drew. Very subtle. I really liked the last shot and his line about fixing the wheel. Very good direction on your part and great cinematography by Luis. Props to Alex because there were some very good like of dialogue there too. Oh, and congrats on securing one of those "it's gotta be impossible to shoot there" locations. Good job!
 
Interesting movie. My favorite part was the squeaky wheel and the implications it created. My most unfavorite part was the sick woman. Unfortunately I could not get over how her neck moved whenever she spoke. It freaked me out a little. I really liked the visionary concept of the "death brochure" though.
 
Champloo said:
... and great cinematography by Luis.
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Thanks for that - though I can't take all the credit for the look of this by any stretch.
Drew had some very speciic thoughts on what he wanted, both from lighting and composition. I really just tried to help him get what he was going for.

We weren't always able to do that - but we worked with what the locations (and our gear) allowed us to do - and overall I was really happy with the look of the piece.
 
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