THE CLOSURE - a Bernie Hipos film

Champloo said:
Nice job Bernie. Glad you made it into this fest. I really liked the old filter look, especially the one from the 60's. I think it worked for the piece.

It's kind of hard to keep a scene going for too long with only one person and not have some outer-inner dialogue...I've been there. You handled it fairly well but you want to try and be careful about expostion.

I think that there was a huge improvement in some of the technical areas from your last DVXUser Fest entry. Everything seemed to come together a lot better and I enjoyed the film. Kudos!
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Hi Champloo, wow! Thanks for this great review. I really appreciate it and good thing that you enjoyed the film. :beer:
 
the film was good. the acting was good, not great, but not bad. the story... not sure it worked all that well, i didn't get why the hairdryer thing started to change things for the woman, why that day in particular? why at all? maybe the story would've worked better for me if i knew. i thought the rosary would figure more into the story. the ending was sort of predictable but that is okay.

music was good for the most part except for the beginning of the movie where the pace seemed to be slow and then boom, credits. there the pace change might've been better if it was a bit more gradual. maybe shift a couple of stills of the woman alone through the years while you overlay your credits?

credits... good to have them and you did a fine job with how they looked but they distracted me with the subtitles. too many credits up front.

outside shot ending... too blown out for my taste, but this might've been a look you were purposefully going for along with the context of the story so, take my opinion for what its worth on that...

otherwise, good work! i really liked the chances you took with the filtered looks of the different time periods, that was fun. different! oh, using another actor to talk with the woman in her apartment would've been cool too, ( hard to find another actor, i know! but that would've eliminated the need for her to speak to herself so much and would've given us some more drama with another person going ," what did you do?!? " and " you can't bring him back!!" that kind of thing!

thanks!
 
my thoughts.

I thought the grain was distracting. I think it would have looked better without it. I enjoyed the look that was underneath all the dust and scratches. I dont know if the music helped or not it seemed to jump around a lot.

I think it could be better if you had more time to extend the story, the ending seemed a bit rushed.

There is never enough time it seems.

I enjoyed the film overall and congratulate you for getting something done.

( something which I can't ever seem to do )
 
I really liked the look of this, starting with b&w and vertical scratches, then sepia with blotches, I dug. Great locations and art design, her clothes looked totally out of the 50's.

I think this would have been a stronger entry if you got rid of the exposition in the middle act. There's no need for us to know what she's thinking - who speaks out loud like that? It would have been better if you didn't include any dialogue and just showed us what she did, and then show us a reaction shot of her face. Otherwise it comes across as totally contrived.

Great scene at the end, but dude if I ever find my buddy shot, the last thing I'll do is hug him. I'm off to call 911, you know?
 
There is something charming about your film making that always makes it worthwhile. I also think there may be a cultural aspect to it that might be lost on an a western audience. I feel like you are a bit more confident since "Happy Endings" and I hope this will continue to the point where you won't feel the need to have a character explain what is happening to the audience. Keep at it and congrats on the film.
 
gabrielflorit said:
Great scene at the end, but dude if I ever find my buddy shot, the last thing I'll do is hug him. I'm off to call 911, you know?
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Hi Gabriel that was a great observation, although we don't have 911 in the Philippines...lol, and the emergency staff are gonna arrive late for sure. lol.:dankk2:

bosindy said:
There is something charming about your film making that always makes it worthwhile. I also think there may be a cultural aspect to it that might be lost on an a western audience. I feel like you are a bit more confident since "Happy Endings" and I hope this will continue to the point where you won't feel the need to have a character explain what is happening to the audience. Keep at it and congrats on the film.
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Thanks for this bosindy, appreciate it.
 
I like the romantic side of your film. You gave the audience on a simple way with this atmosphere a positiv feeling - very refreshing. :) I agree with the comments before, it would be better to tell the story with acting instead of dialog.

Susanne
 
Susanne G. said:
I like the romantic side of your film. You gave the audience on a simple way with this atmosphere a positiv feeling - very refreshing. :) I agree with the comments before, it would be better to tell the story with acting instead of dialog.

Susanne
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Thanks Susanne and you liked the film...this will really help me improve the next time I make another short. Thanks for watching!
 
Very enticing movie. I really liked the choice of music as well, especially early on.

I think you've come a long way since last fest, that's really nice to see.
I liked her response at the end as well. Seemed appropriate.

Nice work and keep at it!

Mike
 
Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
Very enticing movie. I really liked the choice of music as well, especially early on.

I think you've come a long way since last fest, that's really nice to see.
I liked her response at the end as well. Seemed appropriate.

Nice work and keep at it!

Mike
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Thanks Michael for this awesome comment and review. It's a nice feeling that someone appreciates what you do...thanks to dvxuser for this wonderful fest, I'm thankful and privileged that I'm a part of it and learned a lot from it too.:dankk2:
 
One of the first things that i noticed was the dialog. It's not a reflection of how real people talk at all and came across forced. Took me immediately out of the story.

Too much music. not enough silence.

dialog is too expository and the acting doesn't reveal. the VFX shots are way too weird.

You needed another actor. Someone for her to actually talk to. That was the weakest part of the story for me and would have been a better device rather than her talking to herself.

I liked the ending and the reactions of the character, but one thing that raised a question mark was this: the photo wouldn't have been taken while he was wounded!

You've improved a lot on the visual aspect of your storytelling since last fest, but need to work on the actual storytelling and building a solid story and script.
 
I enjoyed the story but the effects kind of took me out of it. I would have gone either high tech or super low tech on purpose and left it as a theme in the film kind of a character in the effects, sort of thing. I did like the passion of the characters and just wished there was more even if she had a pet to talk to or something. Overall I did like it though.
Pauly
 
What I like about this film is that you take chances and experiment, which is something that you can do in short film. While many of us are out there trying for a "hollywood" look/story, you went your own direction and I have a lot of respect for that. Having said that, not all the choices that you made, especially the the music and titles/special effects weren't my cup of tea. The dust/scratches were a little overdone I thought. But an interesting little film overall.
 
Wow, thanks guys for taking time to post your reviews for my film...I'm looking forward to the next fest and I would say that I learned a lot here and I'll definitely take note of all the comments. :dankk2: again!
 
Aim session. The closure.

Aim session. The closure.

Carrying on the tradition from Timefest, the AIM sessions have returned, a live stream of whatever may come out of our heads as we watch your films. Here are Ben Sliker and Brad Mate's thoughts on "The Closure."

9:44:44 PM Brad Mate: indeed
9:44:45 PM Brad Mate: brb
9:44:48 PM Ben Sliker: ok
9:47:50 PM Brad Mate: its your lucky day my friend
9:48:16 PM Brad Mate: i am now in possession of two, count'em, two guitar hero cereal prizes
9:49:59 PM Ben Sliker: BOOYAH
9:50:03 PM Ben Sliker: I WANTS!
9:50:11 PM Brad Mate: you gets
9:50:19 PM Ben Sliker: what cereal are you eating?
9:50:21 PM Brad Mate: i'll tell you if you drive me to the airport when i want
9:50:41 PM Brad Mate: raisin bran
9:51:02 PM Ben Sliker: you sound like the PC guy ... "now you have to pay me cause you took a bite"
9:51:05 PM Brad Mate: actualy im eating cheerios right now, but got the prizes from a raisin bran box
9:51:23 PM Ben Sliker: well, thanks for the clarification
9:51:26 PM Brad Mate: IM AN ENIGMA
9:52:04 PM Ben Sliker: ok, the closure
9:52:32 PM Ben Sliker: ready?
9:52:33 PM Brad Mate: soo tiny
9:52:41 PM Ben Sliker: yeah ,.,, they'll never learn ..
9:52:47 PM Brad Mate: go
9:52:55 PM Ben Sliker: 3
9:52:55 PM Ben Sliker: 2
9:52:56 PM Ben Sliker: 1
9:52:57 PM Ben Sliker: go
9:53:27 PM Ben Sliker: YAY! MATCH MOVE TEXT!
9:53:32 PM Brad Mate: lol
9:53:47 PM Brad Mate: if you are goign for a certain time period....the text doesnt really fit...
9:53:55 PM Ben Sliker: i wonder what the motivation behind the "old film" look
9:54:19 PM Ben Sliker: WTF TEXT
9:54:39 PM Ben Sliker: they upgraded that old film cam to color
9:54:54 PM Brad Mate: hey kids, lets play with filters!
9:55:04 PM Ben Sliker: 2:00 of credits ...
9:55:12 PM Ben Sliker: essentially
9:55:18 PM Ben Sliker: think this guy is dead?
9:55:24 PM Brad Mate: ....
9:55:24 PM Ben Sliker: WTF?
9:55:28 PM Ben Sliker: LASERS!
9:55:31 PM Ben Sliker: ROBOTS!
9:55:44 PM Brad Mate: this movie just got exponentially better with teh inclusion of lasers
9:56:02 PM Ben Sliker: she zapped him with the laser ... now he's audi 5000
9:56:06 PM Brad Mate: im waiting for shaft to burst through the door
9:56:22 PM Brad Mate: WIPE
9:56:45 PM Ben Sliker: i wish he'd give me a clean copy of this to put my own subtitles in, that would be fun. like those hitler videos on youtube.
9:56:59 PM Brad Mate: lol.
9:57:00 PM Ben Sliker: these effects are stock from Apple's Motion...
9:57:11 PM Ben Sliker: i've seen them before
9:57:23 PM Brad Mate: DRAMATIC MUSIC
9:57:33 PM Ben Sliker: WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS GOING ON HERE
9:58:01 PM Brad Mate: is there a reason other than "we have these two filters" for the two time periods? like it took her 20 years to figure out that she has a laser in her house?
9:58:03 PM Brad Mate: wtf is goign on
9:58:07 PM Brad Mate: its like im taking crazy pills
9:58:33 PM Brad Mate: the music is a bit ridiculous as well
9:58:44 PM Ben Sliker: apparently he's in NAM
9:59:02 PM Brad Mate: KL;HGAKL;HDFG
9:59:03 PM Brad Mate: ASDFKHAS
9:59:03 PM Brad Mate: KLGHA
9:59:03 PM Brad Mate: KJA;
9:59:03 PM Brad Mate: HJA
9:59:03 PM Brad Mate: KHGHA
9:59:04 PM Ben Sliker: HE GOT SHOT IN NAM
9:59:04 PM Brad Mate: K
9:59:11 PM Brad Mate: IT WASNT NAM
10:00:05 PM Ben Sliker: i don't even think eisenstein could understand what just happened here.
10:00:25 PM Ben Sliker: BOOM I JUST WENT RUSSIAN FILM HISTORY ON YOU.
10:00:53 PM Ben Sliker: technically soviet ... but i think sergei was making films before they took over ...
10:00:56 PM Brad Mate: WHERE THE F*CK DID THE LASER COME FROM?!?!
10:01:26 PM Ben Sliker: lasers were apparently all the range in 1965 Manila
10:01:28 PM Brad Mate: if they wanted to do soemthing cool with the filters and be really inventive she should have brought him back and he would be in the class b&w filter
10:02:14 PM Ben Sliker: he apparently just got Motion 3 and wanted to try out every filter/particale emitter/tracker in it.
10:02:18 PM Brad Mate: as opposed to teh new b&w filter of course....
10:02:57 PM Brad Mate: like citizen kane black and white, not clerks black and white
10:03:10 PM Ben Sliker: we'll have to explain to them that you had a seizure on your keyboard up there.
10:03:28 PM Ben Sliker: but i guess i just did.
10:03:36 PM Brad Mate: i thought if i bashed my head against the keyboard enough the movie would make more sense to me.
10:03:46 PM Ben Sliker: ZING!
10:03:59 PM Ben Sliker: dude it's a foreign film
10:04:11 PM Ben Sliker: of course it's not going to make sense to us silly americans
10:04:33 PM Ben Sliker: we're un-ed-u-ma-cated.
10:04:42 PM Brad Mate: can we move on...
10:04:52 PM Ben Sliker: we can't talk about lasers anymore?
10:05:24 PM Brad Mate: no
10:05:33 PM Brad Mate: not in regards to this film at any rate
10:05:38 PM Ben Sliker: lol

Bernie, I gotta tell ya, this movie is bat sh*t crazy. I sifted through some of the rest of the reviews so i won't be the repeater, but there's a few suggestions I'd like to make for you. First is fundamentals of story and dialogue, feel free to show your audience what you want to say instead of explaining it to them through dialogue. And on the flip side ... if there is crazy stuff like lasers ... we need some backstory. :) And secondly, I want your next film to not have any filters, just practice with your color correcting (whatever program that may be) Make your images interesting and then add the filter, not the other way around. Keep working at it man, I like the improvements I am seeing.

Later! Cheers! :beer:
 
Bernie, your film-making has improved since Lovefest. That said, you still have some basics you need to grasp: telling a story with action and visuals instead of monologue, avoiding abrupt changes in score with cuts in the editing, etc. I find you have a rather naive or innocent approach that is rather refreshing and could translate into an original style of your own if you can get better story-telling and technical skills. Keep at it and it will come. :)
Jason
 
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