"An Enchanting Twist Of Peccadilloes" - A ZazaCast Film

Hey Zazza
First, i like it... interesting story. Right about 4:32 it got good. I especially love the cranes and dollies. Nice movement. I would have loved to get in closer to the actors and maybe see more close ups (cut aways) to break up the long shots of dialogue. Do you record room tone with your audio? It seems like the audio comes in and out with the dialogue. If you don't then grab about 30 seconds of complete silence but with the lights on and the actors in place... then that is the glue that holds the audio together. Anyhow, I dug it man, great job.
 
What was it about? I am going to second the room tone as well, and the advice I have been getting about my audio I am going to pass on...levels. I loved the look of the old guy and the film looked nice, but I didn't understand the story.
 
I loved the intro of this film. Very cinematic in it's shots and pacing. But when the story moves inside, it all kind of grinded down. I felt like it needed some more set up before the conversation. I dunno, may in the opening montage.

Some minor audio issues aside, I liked your lighting and camerawork. The death scene was really well filmed. I also liked the actor who played Rasputin. He was so good, it seemed to make the other women a little stilted in comparison.

Nice job on this. Now I'm going to check out your other short. :thumbup:
 
Great intro music. How did you manage to have the guy kill the ball that easily?

Nice lighting on the dinner scene.

Hahaha, "tough times, you know". Very clever.

There's some great shots here, my favorite one is Rasputin dying and the napkin falling on his face. Great composition.

I like his acting, I didn't like hers. I think she resorted to yelling too much.

I enjoyed this piece, but neither of the characters gave me a chance to like them or care for their plight. I don't know if it's the script or the acting.
 
I liked the lighting in the home scene, it was warm and complimented the time of day. I enjoyed the use of Rasputin, that story is one that has intrigued me for quite some time. The editing a cinematography was decent for the most part. The acting was fairly strong, except when it came to the laughing which appeared forced/kitschy and the zoom in after Rasputin collapses didn't work for me. Also, and this is just a petty thing, I think I would have rather seen the time on a real clock rather than on the screen. On screen text is good if it is used properly and in moderation, but my philosophy is to avoid it if possible. One last critique would be that the shaky camera on the wind chime was distracting (the chime in general did nothing, in my opinion, to add to the story anyway).

In the end, I think it was a fair piece. The story could have used a boost, in my opinion, but it was executed in a decent manner. Good job and good luck! :)

PS: I know it seems like I have nothing good to say, but that doesn't mean the film was bad. I just figure people are better off hearing what DIDN'T work rather than a bunch of compliments on what DID work (although knowing what worked is also important).

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PENGUIN DISCLAIMER: The Penguin has not read any other reviews before writing his own. Further, any and all criticisms are based solely on the opinion of The Penguin and, thus, may differ from that of other commentators; said comments are provided purely for the constructive use of the filmmaker and can be embraced or ignored at his/her discretion only. Lastly, please be aware that it is NOT penguin season. In fact, it is NEVER penguin season.
 
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ConspiracyPenguin said:
I know it seems like I have nothing good to say, but that doesn't mean the film was bad. I just figure people are better off hearing what DIDN'T work rather than a bunch of compliments on what DID work (although knowing what worked is also important)
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I would argue knowing what worked and why is just as important as knowing what didn't work, and why.

Feel free to share both sides of the coin. It's how each of us know what to keep, and what to work on for future projects.

aw
 
Hey Zaza,

So, I like the opening shots. I think they are well composed. The editing and sound there is fine. Interesting use of the ball, considering the kids don't show back up in the piece.
I think your opening sets up the Rasputin character a bit tougher than he comes across. Maybe it's just me but heavy-set guy on a bike with a beard like that and all the jewelry on the fingers? I think someone who doesn't care about what others think of him because, frankly, he can kill them.

I just don't think that character comes off as tough in the dialogue. Maybe he wasn't suppossed to be tough, seeing as he got tricked by the woman? Or maybe she was just smarter and tougher? I don't see her painted in that way either. At least not through her actions and dialogue.

The story mainly left me kind of cold. I liked the way the details came out but the dialogue and delivery felt a bit "stagey" to me. Maybe it was just the word choices. I can see why it would be weird to deliver because, for my money, the word choices seemed very unnatural.

Also, I think the poison thing didn't work for me because of your product placement before it occurs. I liked what you tried to do with the celery and the "help" being in on it. I don't think we saw Rasputin drink the drink, so that makes it a hard sell for me.

Overall, I think it was a good effort and looked very nice most of the time. I would have liked more story elements and more of the dialogue to flesh out the story.

My 2 sense.
 
Danielleus said:
Also, I think the poison thing didn't work for me because of your product placement before it occurs. I liked what you tried to do with the celery and the "help" being in on it. I don't think we saw Rasputin drink the drink, so that makes it a hard sell for me.
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Thanks SO much for watching & commenting... I'm a little beat as it is late & I've now watched ALL the films and commented on 41 of them (the rest tomorrow).

...but I just wanted to address this one comment. If you look closely, once revealed, it's a bottle of Chloroform, not poison. Now if you look back at the dinner scene, you'll see Rasputin repeatedly using his napkin...THAT's what knocks him out (we never really see how they kill him)...because, after all, "Poisoning a man is not as easy as you think Rasputin!":beer:
 
ZazaCast said:
Thanks SO much for watching & commenting... I'm a little beat as it is late & I've now watched ALL the films and commented on 41 of them (the rest tomorrow).

...but I just wanted to address this one comment. If you look closely, once revealed, it's a bottle of Chloroform, not poison. Now if you look back at the dinner scene, you'll see Rasputin repeatedly using his napkin...THAT's what knocks him out (we never really see how they kill him)...because, after all, "Poisoning a man is not as easy as you think Rasputin!":beer:
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Damn, you're right. Well done. TOTALLY makes that bet MUCH better. Well done on that front. Yeah, the bottle was all there. My brain was not working. Yours obviously was.
 
Not too sure how I felt about your pic. Twins forever… was quite odd. I liked Phil Donahue in his dual roles. Oh, how I wish to see how the ‘harder’ looking brother was gonna handle those two women folk. My lukewarm reception of the story is purely my opinion, so take it as you will. That said, I think you should keep making whatever you want, but work on the technical aspects a bit. The need for more dynamic lighting was what caught my eye. You clearly have the ambition to go get actors, get locations, and get the thing done! Those are the main elements, the rest will follow.
 
Danielleus said:
Damn, you're right. Well done. TOTALLY makes that bet MUCH better. Well done on that front. Yeah, the bottle was all there. My brain was not working. Yours obviously was.
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Excellent... but I'm going to have to agree that there's a fine-line between being sly & spoonfeeding the little hints. Thanks AGAIN for helping me become a better filmmaker!:beer:

Bryce A said:
Not too sure how I felt about your pic. Twins forever… was quite odd. I liked Phil Donahue in his dual roles. Oh, how I wish to see how the ‘harder’ looking brother was gonna handle those two women folk. My lukewarm reception of the story is purely my opinion, so take it as you will. That said, I think you should keep making whatever you want, but work on the technical aspects a bit. The need for more dynamic lighting was what caught my eye. You clearly have the ambition to go get actors, get locations, and get the thing done! Those are the main elements, the rest will follow.
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Thanks Bryce... sorry you didn't enjoy the film, but that's going to help me too! I was going for a 'Night Gallery' / 1960's TV feel for this one. I had hoped that the proper language and the rough character would be an interesting contrast, but it looks like I missed my mark for you. This being my second film, I wanted to really work on shoooting conversation. Again, I find it tough to shoot a film and direct at the same time (let alone doing EVERYTHING else too). I'm so thankful that YeeHaaNow was kind enough to help me out..as this film would have been a disaster otherwise....THANK YOU TIM!!

Now I can apply all these comment to my next film...I'm sure the next fest will be announced soon!:)
 
I didn't really get this story. I mean I get what happened with the woman and all but I didn't really get who this motorcycle guy was. Was this a reference to the fairytale. If so, then I completely missed the connection. How would he know about her and her husband?

Also, the dialog was a little too on point. Like it was for a book or theatre as opposed to natural speak or film speak.

If it was connected to the fairytale then I need to go back and read that to get the connection.
 
Few thoughts to help clear the cobwebs.

First clue ...

RASPUTIN
You know, most people wouldn't think that a woman of such delicate size could drag so much dead weight through the the forest.

A few lines later ...

STEPHANIE
Why now? What not five years ago?

Rasputin saw her drag a body through the woods, but kept 'domestic affairs none of his business', until now. That's the realtionship between him and the woman. This is extortion.


Before settling in to write this, I studied a lot of older Twilight Zone and Night Gallery shows. There were any number of things one could pay homage to, including the use of black and white, scratchy film, etc. But what really stuck out in my mind was the language. It was so much more eloquent in those days, as compared to today's knuckle-dragging text-ese. Even the shady characters spoke a prettier English than that used today. Heck, even the film's title makes use of a word - peccadilloes - now long forgotten. I decided to give these characters a more refined speech, and even this is far below what one might hear in a Night Gallery episode.

I'm also a big believer in subtext, and letting 'double intender' dialogue tell parts of the story that cannot be adequately told by visuals alone.

Somehow the combination is flying right over the heads of viewers. All Greek I guess. English used to be such a rich and layered language, and old film made clever use of vocabulary and subtext. Gotta love gorgeous women speaking beautiful words - that as opposed to lighting a cig and saying nothing but 'LOL' after a good spanking!

Please take the time to really watch this film. Much of the story is woven into the language. There are ten days left to go back and watch a number of films, see what may have been missed first time around (and bump this one up to 10 stars, 9 if you still have some reservations.!!!:beer:) I know I'm going to, based on comments by filmmakers in response to comments by viewers. A lot of light has been cast on subtleties I missed, and as a growing writer, those comments on this and all films are gold. In short, I think this theme was a real challenge on story, in a good way.

Also, take the time to comment on what works, not just on what does not. We all learn from both!!

I think Joe did an excellent job taking this from script to film, and I really believe the actors did a great job with the eloquent and subtext language, and the emotions and actions tied to it.

The waitress was purposely kept a low-key character until the very end. Now with two kills under their belt, the future looks bright!

Twins? Lot of interesting studies on them, and how they sense things about their 'other half'.

We look forward to more comments.



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Started off well, nice shots, establishing the characters. Nice intro and the closeups worked well. Slow reaction on the kids faces that would have been fixed through editing or reshooting the rack focus. Felt that shot was held too long.

Introduction of the biker in the coffee shop was handled a little awkwardly. Felt a closeup as he entered would have been a much better shot. The pacing in this sequence was definitely off and felt more staged than realistic.

This character has some serious rage against vegetables... either that or she's a horrible cook...

Sitting conversations are often so hard to shoot. When characters sit it tends to close off a lot of the angles you can go with. Angling the shots and using a dolly would have worked well on the dining scenes, added a lot more interest.

Interesting story with the blackmail angle. I don't quite get how he dies though since he didn't actually seem to drink or eat. Nice shot of the death though. Freaking awesome angle.

Didn't quite get the spirit thing at the end or the twin connection. That felt a little vague and forced to me.

Over-all, well made and choices for some shots, but performance, pacing and the "sit down and talk" situation limited it to what the film could accomplish.
 
puckthemad said:
Started off well, nice shots, establishing the characters. Nice intro and the closeups worked well. Slow reaction on the kids faces that would have been fixed through editing or reshooting the rack focus. Felt that shot was held too long.
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That's really what I was going for....that long kind of "huh?" thing. Thought the viewer would get a chuckle.

Introduction of the biker in the coffee shop was handled a little awkwardly. Felt a closeup as he entered would have been a much better shot. The pacing in this sequence was definitely off and felt more staged than realistic.
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It was a medium close-up OTS...had to get the sly smile on Nan's face and the awkwardness of the introduction.

This character has some serious rage against vegetables... either that or she's a horrible cook...
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:huh:

Sitting conversations are often so hard to shoot. When characters sit it tends to close off a lot of the angles you can go with. Angling the shots and using a dolly would have worked well on the dining scenes, added a lot more interest.
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There were a few slides in there, but most of the camera movement ended up on the cutting room hard drive. I had built a slider just for this movie. The actors came up from NYC & I just had them for one day...so it was more important to get good solid takes from 3 angles then worry too much about movement. It is what it is.

Interesting story with the blackmail angle. I don't quite get how he dies though since he didn't actually seem to drink or eat. Nice shot of the death though. Freaking awesome angle.

Didn't quite get the spirit thing at the end or the twin connection. That felt a little vague and forced to me.
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For these, please see previous posts as it's explained in them... you really have to pay attention to the story...the bottle was revealed to contain Chloroform...it was on his napkin. You never really know HOW they kill him after!

Over-all, well made and choices for some shots, but performance, pacing and the "sit down and talk" situation limited it to what the film could accomplish.
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I think I accomplished what I was looking to do....this wasn't an action film. It's all about the dialog & story. Alex did an awesome job writing this script and I feel if it failed...then it's all on me as the director, camera operator, location scout, PA, caterer, grunt, editor, music supervisor and main source of funding.:beer:
 
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