*** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Nice Shots! Some of the best lighting I have ever seen...very cool. Nice way to set up your story, great cuts. Great moods!
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

The lighting is amazing. Cinematography is brilliant, but I found the film too long, and with too much dialogue.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

"The lighting is amazing. Cinematography is brilliant, but I found the film too long, and with too much dialogue."

..pretty much sums it up for me too. it was gorgeous work, but the quality of storytelling didnt live up to the imagery.
the story just didnt move forward enough to hold interest very well, but the visuals kept me looking :) great job !
certainly some real time went into this to make it look so great. one of the best lit things ive ever seen for teh DVX.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

I also have to agree with the gang, The shots where incredible unfortunately, the story moved to slow for me. Great shots! though
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Thanks for the input. What's funny is, you guys love the lighting when that was the only real disappointment to me and you say it's too long when all I've heard up until this point is that it was just right!  ???

Speaking of pacing, I wanted to give time for the confrontation to build.  You move too fast and it loses it's punch. Besides, I'm not a big fan of MTV editing or the like.

For the dialogue, I was careful to make every single line of dialogue have a meaning and a reason.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

..i can understand your dissappointment with the lighting..as i assume you are some sort of self loathing perfectionist ;) but believe me IMHO it is very well done .. there is no need for a self letdown there.

the storytelling on the other hand is lacking.. and i dont even like MTV. but this was just to slow. it just didnt move enough.. im a big fan of artistic stuff, and deep things, but it just didnt seem to be going anywhere. the audio was also a bit lacking.. sounds tinny and the dialog lacked dynamics but that could just be the compression ?

..anyway the thing is great, i would just experiment with re-editing it, and perhaps getting rid of, or shortening alot of the shots in between dialog. i know you want to give us time for it all to sink in, but people are used to messages coming at them at 150 mph in anything they watch now. so theyve picked it up , and thougt about it for ages in about 7 seconds.

great job again! really inspiring peice.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

I loved the look, great lighting great cinematography, thought the big smoke shot in the beginning was a little cheese. I don't think it was too long, maybe a little slow but I guess that goes with the subject matter of being stuck in a rut, sitting at home not doing anything but moping. Also, as far as picture goes there was a funny line in the middle of the image that I'm not sure if it was just because of compression and streaming or if it's with your footage, something you may want to check out (it could have also been my screen too, i don't know).

One thing, when you said that every line of dialogue had a meaning and reason and I think you went a little to far with it and it came to the point of sounding unrealistic at times. I liked a lot of it but some of the lines were too straight forward and there was no subtext to them, nothing left up to the audience to be perceived. That's something that's hard for most writers, myself included/especially, but I think it's one of the most important aspects of writing dialogue.

Music was well made, just not my style. It sounded too much like Lifetime music or something to me. but that's completely subjective.

Anyways, that was probably one of the best made shorts I've seen in a while, so congratulate yourself and good luck in the festivals.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Before I reply to some of you I would like to let you know that Z e r 0 was accepted into the FLICKER Film Festival which is screening tonight in N.O. What's interesting is, they decided to bypass showing it at the smaller venue "Flicker Video" tomorrow night and entered it into competition against all the movies shot on film!


I liked a lot of it but some of the lines were too straight forward and there was no subtext to them, nothing left up to the audience to be perceived.
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This was one of those rare instances where I needed to be straight forward. This is what was going through this man's head.


the audio was also a bit lacking.. sounds tinny and the dialog lacked dynamics but that could just be the compression ?
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DEFINATELY the compression. I could only squeeze the thing so many times before I just gave up on any hope of keeping clarity without sacrificing webspace.


thought the big smoke shot in the beginning was a little cheese
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That originally wasn't going to be used. I wasn't planning on a montage beginning, but when it was decided, I thought it would be cool to see if I could pull the shot off - FX wise.

Music was well made, just not my style. It sounded too much like Lifetime music or something to me. but that's completely subjective.
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Ouch. I only had 2 days to do the music, but that just hurts! I did have one guy ask for a CD of the music. To each his own, I guess.

i would just experiment with re-editing it
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No way. I've got too many other films I want to make. Got to keep on truckin'!
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Kaz, they are only opinions, just think of how much criticism would the big directors would get if they posted their stuff here. In my opinion the pace was perfect, the lighting was perfect, the story? well, predictable, I knew the wife (family) was dead since the "admirer" phone call. Nothing is final just opinions, besides movie makers don't ask you what you would like to see... hell, if that was the case George Lucas would be a homeless bastard instead of a millionare!

Cheers!
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

i have to agree with everyone on the lighting/cinema. etc.

i think what i felt distrating was the very 'on the nose' dialogue, especially from the wife. people use more euphemisms and metaphors. even movie dialogue (good) does that too, even if every line has a purpose.

and why was it thundering when there was sunlight pouring in through the blinds?

and i feel sorry for whoever has that phone number in you area under all the area codes.

but overall, superior work.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Kaz, they are only opinions
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I know. I was just giving reasons why I did what I did. I'm my own worst critic and frankly, criticisms here pale in comparison to my own.

why was it thundering when there was sunlight pouring in through the blinds?
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The middle section is sort of a dream (hense the washed out colors). Rain & thunder was merely for mood (ever heard the term "devil beating his wife"?). The beginning (sunset) and end (night)are real.

Incidentally, my film came in second at the Film Festival last night, which is fine since the 1st place film was a large-budget hollywood production with a well-known actor (something entitled "Zen and the art of landscaping"). I was honored to take second place to that. I've also been offered a paying gig and a couple of very good local actors now want to work with me on future projects. Everyone freaked when they find out I've only been doing this for 6 months. I guess that's the best compliment I took home.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughts.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

You deserved it. It was very well made. I do have some problems with the script, too, especially it taking so long to get somewhere (I think it only gets interesting when he sees the wife and say something really harsh, like dumping her). I also don't like the fact that we start at dusk and after the sequence it's night. It gets too close of the dreamy desaturated sequence. You should have returned to the first lighting setup so you would have built the opposing scenaries more clearly (IMHO). BUUT, even with all that, it's very nice.

Why do you guys like so much filming people sitting by a typewriter anyway? ;)
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Instead of Zero, can it be Negative One?
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

That was a beauty to watch! Good Job! Let me ask you, what kind of audio set up did you use??

thanks
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Kaz,
You should pat yourself on the back for this piece. It was very, very well done. The lighting, the look, the acting... all of it was really well executed. The biggest compliment I can give any film is when I stop analyzing the techincals and just watch the story.  And that's what I was doing here, so kudos to you for that.

I do agree, however, with basically what people here are saying about it overall in terms of editing and story execution. The story points were telegraphed so there weren't any surprises and the intent of the story seemed to call for audience surprise.

I'm not suggesting you make changes to your baby because you have a finished film here (especially after it's been entered as is in a film festival). But if you're still considering tinkering with it in post of your own choice, then I would do the following:

A way to take out some of the telegraphing that the wife is dead would be to remove the desaturation effect which screams dream-like state or flashback.  If you want people to think he's talking to a living wife, then pushing the idea of a dream-like state is fighting against that.

Also, try moving the scenes where he's debating on calling this new woman after the answering machine message and before the dialogue with the ghost or memory of the wife. This might better push the idea that he's thinking of or in the process of cheating on a living wife as opposed to simply getting on with his life. Then after the reveal that the wife is dead, just show a shot of him picking up the phone and end with the wife's hand on his shoulder.

As a filmmaker (especially a first time filmmaker) you did a really great job. I myself am finding that editing is really where the storytelling happens. You can change the entire tone of the story by cutting in ways that didn't occur to you in pre-production. Usually for the better.

Also, these are all just distant monday quarterback suggestions from a guy who's looking at it from an outside creative point of view. Don't let that take away from the great job you did here. We're all just trying to help each other out with the learning process with constructive criticism.

Ok, here starts the begging and pleading. ;D

How in the world did you manage to get a 13 minute film of that image size and quality compressed so well into 45 megabytes?? I have a teaser of my first short film which I compressed using cleaner and the two minute length came in at 18 megabytes. My short currently clocks in at 20-25 minutes and I want to put it online. Can you offer me some suggestions on settings for compression? Would greatly appreciate it.

Again, great job overall. If I didn't think so, I wouldn't have spent so long writing this commentary.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Thanks for the compliments and thoughts. Always appreciated. This film was merely to get my feet wet. The idea is actually an offshoot from one of my bigger fantasy films I plan on shooting within the next year. I never even meant to do anything with it, but everyone thought it was good enough to send around, so there we are. This is why I want to just leave it alone and move on.

The story points were telegraphed so there weren't any surprises
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A lot of that is a product of being a filmmaker. We tend to figure out that stuff quick! But there have been many who told me they thought the guy was simply cheating on his wife. A couple have said they knew the deal beforehand, but still got chills when it was revealed.

what kind of audio set up did you use??
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Dialogue was recorded with Sennheiser ME66 straight into the DVX. Ditto for the foley work. Then mastered with both Vegas and Sound Forge.

How in the world did you manage to get a 13 minute film of that image size and quality compressed so well into 45 megabytes??
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With great patience and lots of trial and error. I renedered the original uncompressed to a web friendly size (175 x 436) and used Sorenson Squeeze set to Broadband. I changed these compression settings:

VIDEO
Data rate - 400
Framerate - 24fps
Keyframe every 300 frames

AUDIO
Apple IMA 4:1
44khz
Stereo

I'm real disappointed with the audio, but considering the small file size, I can live with it.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

I did like it. Just busting stones.
 
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