*** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

for a first.....I would say I'm impressed.....

the story made me want to shoot myself though because of its pacing......cigarettes are overused....and smoke in light doesn't do anything for me.
It was shot nicely......good feeling to the film overall....but the script seemed so generic.
This is like something I would have done in a drama class...at one point I thought it was straight from a one act book of scenes!
I'm glad it didn't end predictably though......you at least gave time for the story to build (maybe too much) and provided closure.
Technically, I think you have everything down quite well....

story-telling is the hardest part, I think.....we need more comedy on this site though......hah....
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

I promised myself - and you guys- I wouldn't do this, but my Saints were so embarrasingly bad today that I stopped watching and started playing around with a re-edit. It's almost four minutes shorter and I'm starting to really dig it. Maybe I'll post a rough cut for you guys that already saw the other one to compare.

we need more comedy on this site though
Click to expand...
Now comedy I've got. Almost too much. Only a few that are worthwhile to post, however (one I already did called "Don't lose your head" dealing with a decapitation). Also, my next two films will be a Black Comedy and a straight up comedy.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film


excellent short.

ditto...a little too long.

did the lighting all come from real lights/natural etc. or was any of it done in post?

we'd love to see a re-edit, post away!

matthew
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Awesome short.

I loved the lighting, the music, and the story. I felt the characters, meaning the scene were we find out what is happening I got the chills. Great work ;D
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

I should have the re-edit up tomorrow night. My music doesn't really fit it anymore so I'm using some tracks off of Shawshank Redemption.


did the lighting all come from real lights/natural etc. or was any of it done in post?
Click to expand...
I had an Arri 650 outside and a desk lamp relecting off the wall for the office. In the bedroom I had a mini mole and a JTL softlight. A couple of shots had some post light. I tried not to light the walls too much since they were all white. White walls look crappy on camera.

Oh yeah. Originally, the film had a consistent daytime look. I did the sunset and nightime coloring in post.
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Hey dude, sorry about the lifetime crack. Just not my style I guess. I really really liked your film and was trying to offer some constructive criticism, but sometimes I come off wrong I guess. Anyways good job. Hey I noticed you're from New Orleans... that kicks ASSSSS!!!!!! I'm from Baton Rouge and I'm really broke but i'm DPing a film that's scheduled for production in december and I've been looking everywhere for someone with a DVX that would want to come be first camera on our film. For the love of all things holy email me and let me know if you'd be interested in this. If not we have to shoot on GL2 :-/ which will make me sad since I've been dreaming of having a DVX for over a year. Anyways email me and even if you don't want to do that maybe we could still get together sometime and work on something.

Jon
jpete17@lsu.edu
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

I really enjoyed it. Fantastic cinematography. Great opening credits. If I had one suggestion it would be to edit it a little tighter, it felt repetitive in the middle.

Overall though, an excellent short!

Chris
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

wow visually real nice son but, the story was pretty lame, nay boring.
and the music, havnt heard anything like that since john carpenters scores on his movies, they however were cool. yours unfortunately was not........

visually it was nice
 
Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

Re: *** Z e r 0 ***  my first short film

I gotta second what appears to be the majority.

The cinematography is wonderful. First rate. Professional as any seen. The lighting is perfect. I want to show this to aspiring filmmakers and say "This is how you light!". Less is more. You really 'painted with light' on this one.

The music is very nice albeit not at all my style so it bugged a little (purely a stylistic choice). The score had its moments particualry when I heard what sounded like a 'flange' but the aprregio solo piano just bothered my head. I felt overall, the music was so slow and it did not serve what was already a slow piece.

The acting is above average but obviously not first rate. Felt like acting students. THis is fine; we are all growing at our craft. The acting just did not make me believe and felt forced and melodramatic and not at all natural.

The story was cool. I liked the payoff. I just wished it came sooner or maybe in a more dramatic fashion? I think pacing would have helped move this along at a better rate. Not just editing, not just the screenplay, not just the score and not just the actors deliveries but all these things combined lacked in the pacing department; too slow. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

That being said? I honestly look forward to more work from you as it was a beautiful thing to watch. This is cinemtography, this is 'lighting for film'.

I hope you can take my criticism with a grain. It's just how I feel about it. We encourage everyone here not to sugarcoat and tell it like it is so theres no need to 'defend' against any negative feedback as it wont make it 'better'. It wont change how one perceives it.

I really look forward to more work form you. You have talent, that much is clear. If you throw another cut up, please let us know!
 
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