Whooping your kid's A$$es. Do you think it's wrong?

One more thing, you can't do it in public so how do you control your child then if that's all they know? There are other ways but they involve patience and dedication. Flying off the handle is easy and temporary at best.
 
ZaZa - you must be kinfolk. I was whipped by a belt up until I finally stood up to my mother. Still remember the day, my sister, brother and me all got in trouble. Mother went after belt which always hung by the door in the living room, easy to reach.

Belt was worn in the middle from hanging on the doorknob for so many years. Anyhow, she went after the belt, brother ran out one door and sister ran out the other. I had two choices: to run into the bedroom (in a two bedroom house) or stand up to her.

I stood my ground, I don't think I was in high school yet, and I looked at her firmly as she came after me and told her, "Go ahead and hit me." Scared the beejesus out of her. She never again laid a hand on me from that moment on.

I consider that a key note moment in my life. I have a son. I hit him once then came back the flood of those memories. I stuck to grounding him and that worked well.
 
ChipG said:
I'm not saying you should or shouldn't, just don't do it in public if you do.

I was at a gas station and a dad kept slapping his kids (5 or 6 years old) a bystander grabbed him, took him out in the parking lot and beat him so bad his face was disfigured, his nose was ready to fall of, his eyes were so swollen, the parking lot was covered in blood.

Funny thing was no one at the gas station could remember what the guy looked like or what kind of vehicle he was in when he left.

I love seeing parents who hit kids get their asses kicked. But a little spanking is prob ok, just not an ass whoppin, the above was in reference to over use if it.
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because 2 wrongs really does make a right. Right?
Too bad someone didnt see the stranger beating up the guy..and take him to the next parking lot and beat the **** outta him right?
And then ANOTHER guy should see THAT guy beating up that other guy and beat
the piss outta him right? and..
 
If you're going to spank your kids, you must also be extremely warm and loving with how you do it. If you just spank them when you yourself are pissed off, you'll mess them up.

If you start spanking your kids, you must be extremely consistent with it. It's also critical that you explain exactly why you are doing it to them.

I won't ever spank my kids. Spanking can be useful, but effective spanking takes much more time than just the time it takes to hit them.
 
I think the thing that gets lost in this argument is the fact that if you’re at the point of using physical punishment you’ve already lost. The goal is to not have your children misbehave in the first place. Physical punishment is a quick and easy fix but it doesn't really get to the root of the problem. As I mentioned, I think lack of structure is the primary cause of a lot of misbehavior. Without structure, kids get bored, their minds wander, and this is when they realize a piece of bologna fits perfectly in the DVD player. Or they just want your attention and act up on purpose. I don't think physical punishment should be taken off the table, but I consider it a nuclear option, a last resort after you've given a kid ample warning and already exercised other non-physical punishments. If all you give your kid is tough love it won't make them tough, just fearful and insecure.
 
I've only read the post above, but I mostly agree with it. I think it depends on the age, the nature of the physical punishment, and—especially important—the consistency. I've been surprised by just how much we *can* reason with our three-year-old, but at the end of the day, she's still a toddler. And sometimes that means the only thing she understands after throwing a toy or hitting a sibling is a smack on the hand. We haven't been as consistent as we should have been, or else she probably wouldn't still be doing that sort of thing at all. But we've been consistent enough that when I ask her, "Are you going to be our good girl or a naughty girl?", she always—*always*—says, "Good girl," and does what she's supposed to do.

For our older kids, it's very much the nuclear option. I just spanked our eight-year-old with my hand for the first time in three years the other day, simply because he's pushing limits more and more—it's what they do—and he had to understand that there is a limit, and it will be enforced. Lo and behold, he's been substantially better since then. And Batutta's right: It's only because I reserved the big guns for a last resort. Taking away video game time and the like wasn't enough, and weeks of threatening a spanking were starting to sound hollow to him. Not anymore. And now he's acting more the way he should.

I should add that the punishments are always followed up by a hug and an explanation for what happened. I think that part is more important than the punishment. They have to know that you still love them. You just also have to be a parent.
 
i do spank my kids, but i try to limit when i do it. so i only spank when i'm drunk or they've done something to make me angry.
 
Or as my dad use to say:

"Keep it up. I brought you into this world. I'll take you out of it.......




...and I'll make another one that looks just like you."
:crybaby:
 
ChipG said:
I'm not saying you should or shouldn't, just don't do it in public if you do.

I was at a gas station and a dad kept slapping his kids (5 or 6 years old) a bystander grabbed him, took him out in the parking lot and beat him so bad his face was disfigured, his nose was ready to fall of, his eyes were so swollen, the parking lot was covered in blood.

Funny thing was no one at the gas station could remember what the guy looked like or what kind of vehicle he was in when he left.

I love seeing parents who hit kids get their asses kicked. But a little spanking is prob ok, just not an ass whoppin, the above was in reference to over use if it.
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Holy cow! That is certainly the most wrong way to handle that situation! Violence to punish violence is hardly a logical answer. Ignorant peoples. This is why we have police. Good god.
 
What is the purpose of punishment? To teach. If a child does something that endangers himself or others, corporal punishment is required immediately. This will provide an immediate and direct connection—Pavlovian conditioning—between dangerous activity and pain.

In other cases, the punishment should be crafted to teach that a particular behavior is unacceptable. Again, a connection needs to be drawn. A punishment of "time out" does not fit all of the time; it's a sign that the parents are not really thinking about what they are doing. It's OK for a parent who cannot think of an appropriate punishment on the spot to say, "I need to think about what you did and how to teach you not to do it again. I will tell you when I have decided." And, by the way, sometimes asking a child what he thinks is an appropriate punishment will garner a very fair and appropriate punishment.

That's not to say that mistakes won't be made. We have five children and I'm still learning the fact that not only must the punishment fit the crime but, in addition, the punishment must fit the child. I was also reminded last week how difficult it is to strike a child. My eight-year-old boy had walked into the street without looking to his left. From a distance, I had to shout at him to stop before he walked into a van's path. He looked back at me, suddenly awakened, after the van sped by and said, "I forgot."

I guess I was in shock because I couldn't bring myself to hit him. It had been quite close. The van had been going too fast but my son was also to blame for being negligent. After, he seemed to simply move on as if nothing had occurred. I thought to myself, "I've made a mistake. That was the time to strike and I missed it." So I told him I would decide on a suitable punishment.

His punishment consisted of writing a letter to the town council detailing what had happened. He admitted negligence while crossing the street but also asked that they take action to prevent and/or punish speeders.

We'll see how they respond.
 
When my 17 month old son tries to stick his hand in the toilet or knock a lamp over, I give him a gentle swat on the back of his hand.

Now when he does something wrong, he looks at me, swats his own hand and laughs.

So that plan is working out……

EDIT: I love the phrase, "acting a fool "
 
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