Whooping your kid's A$$es. Do you think it's wrong?

texvanwinkle said:
I've only read the post above, but I mostly agree with it. I think it depends on the age, the nature of the physical punishment, and—especially important—the consistency. I've been surprised by just how much we *can* reason with our three-year-old, but at the end of the day, she's still a toddler. And sometimes that means the only thing she understands after throwing a toy or hitting a sibling is a smack on the hand. We haven't been as consistent as we should have been, or else she probably wouldn't still be doing that sort of thing at all. But we've been consistent enough that when I ask her, "Are you going to be our good girl or a naughty girl?", she always—*always*—says, "Good girl," and does what she's supposed to do.

For our older kids, it's very much the nuclear option. I just spanked our eight-year-old with my hand for the first time in three years the other day, simply because he's pushing limits more and more—it's what they do—and he had to understand that there is a limit, and it will be enforced. Lo and behold, he's been substantially better since then. And Batutta's right: It's only because I reserved the big guns for a last resort. Taking away video game time and the like wasn't enough, and weeks of threatening a spanking were starting to sound hollow to him. Not anymore. And now he's acting more the way he should.

I should add that the punishments are always followed up by a hug and an explanation for what happened. I think that part is more important than the punishment. They have to know that you still love them. You just also have to be a parent.
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.....that's all me....save the big guns as a last resort. Also I don't care for time out too much. Kids adapt quickly..
mcgeedigital said:
Or as my dad use to say:

"Keep it up. I brought you into this world. I'll take you out of it.......




...and I'll make another one that looks just like you."
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LOL...this is a keeper. Though Blaine is right.....I think I've heard that line on Cosby.
 
Whooping your kid's A$$es. Do you think it's wrong?
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Yes, in general.
If your dad was like mine, he'de just ask you for a fight when he thought you were asking for one. I never took him up on it.

But, sometimes, if it means the difference between your kids doing things where they are looking at some decent jail or prison time and they are under your care, screw the law. If it takes some smacking to get their attention then you can take the legal fall for abuse rather than seeing your kid in prison for the rest of his life.

So, to me, no, in general, but yes if that's the last resort.
(And, please if any one quotes me, quote all of the above, not just one sentence. )

I personally have never fought with or been hit by a family member but I know some who have and they seem fine. Who knows though.

-Gord.

//Oh, and I'm speaking of teens and older here. Under that age, there's no need for it.
 
mcgeedigital said:
Or as my dad use to say:

"Keep it up. I brought you into this world. I'll take you out of it.......
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My father told me the same thing when I was growing up.

I was spanked twice I think, and once was by my grandmother. Both happened when I was very young, under five definitely. Both times were effective I'd say.

Honestly the thing that kept me straight as an arrow as a child was respect for my parents. Sure my dad would say every now and again that he was going to give me a good one across the bottom if I was acting up, and in retrospect I definitely deserved more then I got. But it always came down to deciding if what I was going/about to do would disappoint them. If it would have I didn't do it.

I don't think spanking is wrong. I would hope that it doesn't come to it, but a good one or two I believe can go a long way IF they are warranted and the child understands why you are doing it.
 
I think consistency is key... spanking seems like it can often have the opposite effect (not necessarily b/c it is inherently bad, but) b/c it often seems to be an act done reflexively or out of anger.

I would say (if you do spank) definitely don't do it when you yourself are angry, as it again may have the opposite effect of the desired one. If it is a disciplinary tool, that is one thing... but, when you just have a reflex reaction or do it b/c you are pissed off at them for whatever they did... well, that just seems a physical manifestation of anger at that point, which carries its own list of potential side effects, rather than a disciplinary/corrective action. Cool down first, imo (if you spank).

I have spanked my children in the past... But, I've moved away from it. Focusing more on consistency, and on remaining calm when addressing my children. I'm trying to end the bad temper cycle with me and not pass that on to my children. I'm not disciplined enough myself to use spanking as a disciplinary tool, and found myself doing exactly the above when I did spank them on occasion... so, that is why I stopped doing it.

My voice is an effective tool (when I don't use it out of anger), but then I'm also trying to moderate that. These days, if I stand up or approach them, they get that it is game over, so nothing more is necessary... anything beyond that just seems unnecessary at this point (in my family dynamic).

Consistency, and if you do spank, don't do it when you are pissed... I think the potential side effects may negate any intended benefit in the long term as it is an expression of instability imo when done in that frame of mind. physical manifestation of anger is merely an emotional outburst and does not = corrective/disciplinary action, imo.

Another thing to keep in mind is that every kid is different. My two kids couldn't be much more different, and one takes much restraint to not pop one off on here and there :)

The goal is to discipline and education.... be it a spanking or a talking to, or time in a corner, or whatever works for your kids.... but, when anger enters the equation, things start to get muddy...

later,
Jason
 
I support what Jason has to say. The key to any kind of discipline is to make sure the party being disciplined understands the rationale.
 
Jason Ramsey said:
I think consistency is key... spanking seems like it can often have the opposite effect (not necessarily b/c it is inherently bad, but) b/c it often seems to be an act done reflexively or out of anger.
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$100 says the guy at the gas station who beat some ass (from my story on page 2) was spanked/hit/got his ass whooped out of anger by his dad, kinda the point of me mentioning such a horrible thing but nobody picked up on it or didn't buy it.

Violence breeds violence.
 
Terry_Lasater said:
Gotta say, I'm shocked by how many people equate a bottom paddling with "hitting" kids.
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I have to agree... in my mind, there is a world of difference between an open handed swat to the rear end and a hard slap to the face. And I don't believe in and of itself it leads to other violence or teaches violence is okay... I got the belt as a kid, and the last time I hit someone in anger was while defending a teammate in a high school soccer game 15 years ago (still don't know how I managed to not get carded).
 
I am shocked my parents didn't just kill me as a kid. I was a hyperactive little snot/brat. Oh I got my posterior reddened many times, and considering the crap I pulled (and got away with), it would of been justified homicide.
 
Not wrong. Wrong if you do it for the wrong reasons or it becomes abusive. Hence bad press. I strongly disagree with those who say that ANY kind of spanking is detrimental. At the end of the day you need to do what works for your kids. There's a big difference in giving a spanking and abusing your child physically.
 
Terry_Lasater said:
Gotta say, I'm shocked by how many people equate a bottom paddling with "hitting" kids.
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Bottom paddling ain't doing a damn thing in our household. I think the diaper provides some good padding.

On that note, I was driving around today and this popped in my head: Remember the Little Rascals episode where the kid put a book in his pants before he was about to get spanked???? :grin::grin::grin::grin::grin:
 
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