When Music Ends
- Thread starter Andreas Fern
- Start date
Some beautiful images there.
First the most important - 95% important - I liked the story very much. Excellent.
Now on to the remaining 5%. And on this site we tend to obsess over that 5%
Excellent photography.
Some flaws, IMHO, in shooting ideas. For example, I think you should have shot the hospital scene differently. When we watch the scene, the natural assumption is that the main character is awaiting being examined. In fact, however, he's already been examined, and is just waiting for a diagnosis. This is badly done, because we don't realize this until almost the very end. The doctor/resident comes out, and it is not clear until our hero actually leaves that the doctor is not about to invite him in for an exam, but that he's merely conveying a diagnosis post exam. Bad.
Here's how it could've been done, and you wouldn't have had this misunderstanding: our hero is sitting in the waiting room, the doctor/resident comes out and walks up to our hero with an envelope or sheet of paper, hands it to our hero, while shaking his head "no", then shakes hands and our hero leaves. In this case, there is zero misunderstanding and we know exactly where we are in the story. Now, I don't mean that my proposed way is the only way to show that, just that this is an example of how the misunderstanding is avoided, while your way invited misunderstanding. Remember, clarity is paramount, and very difficult to achieve - because you know the story, you don't take into account that a virgin viewer doesn't have your info. The ability to tell the story is the essential skill of a director - if you fail that, you're throwing people out of the movie as they race to adjust their understanding.
So: 1) know what the audience expectations are at all times 2) shoot the story in such a way that you guide those expectations to exactly where you want them.
There are other examples of these mistakes in your short, but that one was particularly glaring.
The sound design was fine as far as I'm concerned - by this I mean overall sound effects, not music (about the music later).
I understand that you possibly shot this somewhere like in Sweden, but tried not to use dialogue to avoid having translation issues, and making it more universal (you put in snatches of english on the radio, and the text the hero was typing/editing). Good idea, and well done - didn't seem artificial or staged.
Music - probably the key to what you wanted to convey. Sadly, I vote - down, no good. Sorry, Fredrik. The music is way too generic sounding, and too saccharin. It needs more "vinegar". And more originality. And more varied tempo. The music is supposed to convey to us the great meaning it has in the hero's life. That's a big burden on the composer. If it fails, we don't feel satisfied. Like hearing two characters discuss "the most beautiful woman in the world" - and then the woman appears on screen, and any actress has a hard time living up to such a tall order. Your options are: get commercial, real music - at least you have a chance to meet the challenge (btw., when Kubric was doing 2001, the studio commissioned Alex North to compose the score; Kubric while editing was working to scratch music - Strauss - and when Alex North presented his score, no way was it able to compete with Strauss, so it was left with Strauss in the final version). Certainly, this is a brutal lesson in filmmaking: your art comes first. So, if your relative or friend or wife/husband/lover can't give you what you need, you must drop them. Who would you choose: a professional DP who can give you great images or a hopeless DP who gives you horrible images but is your friend? If you are serious about your art, you'll say: give me the one who does the best work. Your other option would be to go with an amateur composer, but who gives you what you need - and Fredrik is not that person (at least in this instance... I don't know Fredrik otherwise).
Of course, you may not be able to tell that your music is substandard, at which point you can't be helped - you should in that case employ a pro music consultant.
I took a lot of time to write a totally honest review - that happens to be 99% positive - I hope you found this helpful.
Now on to the remaining 5%. And on this site we tend to obsess over that 5%
Excellent photography.
Some flaws, IMHO, in shooting ideas. For example, I think you should have shot the hospital scene differently. When we watch the scene, the natural assumption is that the main character is awaiting being examined. In fact, however, he's already been examined, and is just waiting for a diagnosis. This is badly done, because we don't realize this until almost the very end. The doctor/resident comes out, and it is not clear until our hero actually leaves that the doctor is not about to invite him in for an exam, but that he's merely conveying a diagnosis post exam. Bad.
Here's how it could've been done, and you wouldn't have had this misunderstanding: our hero is sitting in the waiting room, the doctor/resident comes out and walks up to our hero with an envelope or sheet of paper, hands it to our hero, while shaking his head "no", then shakes hands and our hero leaves. In this case, there is zero misunderstanding and we know exactly where we are in the story. Now, I don't mean that my proposed way is the only way to show that, just that this is an example of how the misunderstanding is avoided, while your way invited misunderstanding. Remember, clarity is paramount, and very difficult to achieve - because you know the story, you don't take into account that a virgin viewer doesn't have your info. The ability to tell the story is the essential skill of a director - if you fail that, you're throwing people out of the movie as they race to adjust their understanding.
So: 1) know what the audience expectations are at all times 2) shoot the story in such a way that you guide those expectations to exactly where you want them.
There are other examples of these mistakes in your short, but that one was particularly glaring.
The sound design was fine as far as I'm concerned - by this I mean overall sound effects, not music (about the music later).
I understand that you possibly shot this somewhere like in Sweden, but tried not to use dialogue to avoid having translation issues, and making it more universal (you put in snatches of english on the radio, and the text the hero was typing/editing). Good idea, and well done - didn't seem artificial or staged.
Music - probably the key to what you wanted to convey. Sadly, I vote - down, no good. Sorry, Fredrik. The music is way too generic sounding, and too saccharin. It needs more "vinegar". And more originality. And more varied tempo. The music is supposed to convey to us the great meaning it has in the hero's life. That's a big burden on the composer. If it fails, we don't feel satisfied. Like hearing two characters discuss "the most beautiful woman in the world" - and then the woman appears on screen, and any actress has a hard time living up to such a tall order. Your options are: get commercial, real music - at least you have a chance to meet the challenge (btw., when Kubric was doing 2001, the studio commissioned Alex North to compose the score; Kubric while editing was working to scratch music - Strauss - and when Alex North presented his score, no way was it able to compete with Strauss, so it was left with Strauss in the final version). Certainly, this is a brutal lesson in filmmaking: your art comes first. So, if your relative or friend or wife/husband/lover can't give you what you need, you must drop them. Who would you choose: a professional DP who can give you great images or a hopeless DP who gives you horrible images but is your friend? If you are serious about your art, you'll say: give me the one who does the best work. Your other option would be to go with an amateur composer, but who gives you what you need - and Fredrik is not that person (at least in this instance... I don't know Fredrik otherwise
).Of course, you may not be able to tell that your music is substandard, at which point you can't be helped - you should in that case employ a pro music consultant.
I took a lot of time to write a totally honest review - that happens to be 99% positive - I hope you found this helpful.
Andreas Fern
Member
Thank you for your comments, they are very valuable to me.
OldCorpse, Thank you for taking time to writing down all your comments I found them very helpful!
Perhaps I should mention it's my second film and it had a total budget of: 3 500 dollars.
OldCorpse, Thank you for taking time to writing down all your comments I found them very helpful!
Perhaps I should mention it's my second film and it had a total budget of: 3 500 dollars.