the first thing i noticed is in the cinematography. when introducing a new location and charaacters, it is always good to start off with a wide angle shot of your location and the characters within it... to orient the audience as to where the characters are placed within the space. all of your characters (except smitty) were introduced from close-up shots which gave no orientation as to how they related to their envirnment. it felt very claustrophobic in the opening scenes. have your characters enter/exit locations with a wide shot. also, try to mix close-ups with medium and long shots to add some variety.