Rocksteady
Active member
That's sounds cool DC, where can I see it?
What do you guys think?
- Thread starter Rocksteady
- Start date
DC
Cinematographiliac
Nowhere yet. Shooting begins on Sunday.
But I'll post on here when it's ready . . .
ProfessorU
Veteran
I'd take the music level down a lot. It's really hot compared to the dialog right now.
The crux of the gag that's not coming across.... it's the multiple shots of the pistol. If the "killer" knows the gun isn't loaded, why does he fire multiple times? I was left with the impression that the gun was jammed.
I think the thing could be saved with a reshoot and slight rewrite. Have the gun shoot blanks, let the gag ride on the "victim's" overreaction. Then have a more revealing conversation in the car. I'd also take out about 30 seconds of the intro somewhere. Right now it's 60 seconds to establish your scene, props, and actors, but you could take it down to 30 and do the same thing.
The crux of the gag that's not coming across.... it's the multiple shots of the pistol. If the "killer" knows the gun isn't loaded, why does he fire multiple times? I was left with the impression that the gun was jammed.
I think the thing could be saved with a reshoot and slight rewrite. Have the gun shoot blanks, let the gag ride on the "victim's" overreaction. Then have a more revealing conversation in the car. I'd also take out about 30 seconds of the intro somewhere. Right now it's 60 seconds to establish your scene, props, and actors, but you could take it down to 30 and do the same thing.