"Visionary"

Man, this poor guy's head hurts!

I agree with Rodney about the running/repetition and the lack of hard cuts. There was too much of that and not enough story here. Given that, I do see some interesting shot composition in the film.
 
I have to agree with Puck and everyone else...we know the story could have been more developed and there were serious audio problems, the edit needs a tweak and the acting could be better, not to mention you need to render in a larger format next time.

That said... I really liked the story concept! The opening shot was creative and all the visions flashing in worked for me, just not repeatedly throughout the film. I also liked the opening music. The final tune didn't seem to work. This would have been a great TimeFest entry.

Lots to work on, but hey, that's why we're here. Nice first effort and I expect to see some good stuff from you in the future!
 
I agree and sympathize with the render size error. If not for Chris Curl helping me, TFR would have comeout looking like an 8 bit NES game.

Good story though. I dig the remot viewing aspect but agree it could have been beefed a little more. And when it comes to actors, Craigslist is your friend, but ignore anyone who criticizes acting in an indy short...especially Zaza. :)
 
Thanks again. Your views are appreciated. I kinda wussed out on the story. I thought we would get a short under our belt before taking on a "real story", but it was not a good idea! I shouldn't leave anything on the table.
Thanks for taking the time to watch and comment.
This makes me want to go home and get my camera and try this thing again!
But you know...I have to diagree a bit with the acting. I think my volunteers did a pretty good job. They really did not have a lot to work with!
 
Hey ... pretty Good Thriller .... the story had little background ... and you had some problems with the running sequences .... (somtimes they are running, after they are running slower ... and there is a shot ... the hooded guy is seen starting to run after he was supposed to be running already) ... the Flashbacks (Visions) were Great .... Keep it up !!!
 
Biased opinion

Biased opinion

When you are an old " hooded man" like me you have to stop sometimes to catch your breath . I will have to defend the story of the film. the whole idea of the story is he is trying to beat the clock of course that is obvious however, it is more a story of good and evil and intimidation as well as heroism. I believe that this story is more suited for a longer film so that the characters can be developed not from the beginning but from a point where you understand the emotion and drive of the visionary. As far as the work, it is a good example of a first time film, using new equipment and limited resources. None of the actors are from acting schools or have any experience. Now I have one experience that I will cherish forever because I did it for my brother. Yes the running was a lot but Mr. Rapsom needed the exercise.

Daryl Glenn
"Hooded Man" :D
 
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Interesting concept here. The stroy has a lot of potential. The running did get a bit repetitive after a while. I like how you used stills for the premonition flashes. Very solid work on your first entry. We're all in the process of learning. Keep it coming.
 
I think there is a lot of positive feed back as well as negative feedback and when I say negative, I don't mean it in a bad way. The Negative feedback lets us know what needs improving and not just to bad talk the film. Most of the people leaving a negative comment also left a positive comment and sometimes left a suggestion to improve so we can do better next time. I really like dvxuser.com, everyone is supportive and nice.(Not to critical)


We will do better next time.


I had fun with this film, and I know I will have fun will the next one.


Thank you for your support and patience with our first film.
Bro. Stephen
 
I have been thinking of how I have failed to deliver my “message” to the viewer. I understand the critique of the fades. I had intended to show a passage of time, and how that failed visually ( and miserably?). I get it. It just didn’t work. But the overall theme of the film. A nobody, doing what is right, all the time, just didn’t come across. The guy was not important, accomplishing what he knew and saw to be right was. Never stopping, always running toward the goal. The failure of that bothers me bit. Because that means I did not do my job of the story teller.
It was an intentionally sparse story. But I think that I wussed out. I should have not used the excuse “ We are going to work on getting to know this camera” and just gone full out with a better, fuller story. So..live and learn.
I am so pleased with the effort of everyone. This was essentially a 2 man show behind the camera. My brother Stephen and I did all of the camera work. We had around a $100 budget! My daughter (who played the female lead) helped with sound and a bunch of other stuff. The actors were all volunteers and I think they were awesome! That is my brother Daryl behind the hood. And my great friend Bobby was the Visionary. I really think he pulled it off wonderfully, with the minimal dialogue. Some of my daughters friends were her cohorts on the street.
I appreciate the comments you are leaving. It does help.
I guess I knew what some of the criticisms would be, ( there was an awful lot of running!! )
We used a DIY static 35mm adapter. Any thoughts on that? There are some image issues on the edges that show up to a greater degree from time to time..What else do you guys have to say about it?
 
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Oh, the render size was a big brain fart. I left town early last Wednesday and was in a hurry to finish and upload. I did not double check my file before I uploaded. BIG mistake. Measure twice and cut once.....please forgive. I did not get back until Sunday and even then did not realize my idiocy!
 
good attempt! i agree with above posters with much of what has been already said, good story potential, too much running ( if the lead is going to run all the time then at least make him sweat a lot) , and too many flash aheads. i'd love to see what the relationship is between the lead and hooded dude. how do they know each other, why is the hooded dude trying to kill people, why is lead trying to save them? who is the lead? why should i care? good try though! keep filming!
 
Bring on the next DVXfest! Thanks one last time to everyone that took the time to watch and especially to those that left us a comment. Your suggestions are most helpful. I promise, our next film will have lots of sitting instead.
The hooded man represented evil, the devil. The Visionary was you and me. I believe in a very real sense, that we all know what is right and wrong, and generaly we know what to do, we know what the right thing to do is. We know right from wrong. We choose either to run toward that goal, or we do not. And I think there are those (evil) that wil try to hinder us in that goal, just for the sake of causing distress. I think real evil does not even care of it succeeds in stopping us from doing right. I think causing you and me worry and pain and doubt is more than enough to satisfy true evil.
My intentions and my story telling fell flat. That is the thing I learned the most. The technical side of things will come with practice. Even though with fuller story in a longer version would be considered action or more mainstream, there is always potential to tall a real story with real value.
 
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