untitled for now

R

rcolazo89

Active member
or at least as far as I know, it is pending a title from my friend that I shot this project for. It was my first time working as a DP, cam op - I usually work with location sound. The equipment used is a dvx with a redrock m2, nikon primes, and my coollights + a 2k watt genny. I wanted to wait to show this till I have it on vimeo, and that some of the necessary editing is done, but screw it! I hope you like it!

http://www.dedondeeres.com/files/Movie.wmv
 
I dunno, the idea didn't hook me, and I was more confused at the end.

Let's break it down:

Story - Not much of a story here. Sure you can just capture a moment in a story, but it felt like it was missing a lot (or maybe just a little). I mean it was a guy talking to his friend with on-the-nose dialogue about who he is, rambling and rambling about how these guys are going to beat him up. Then he arrives and they look like they're going to beat him up. Was it supposed to be a joke ending? Honestly you set it up so much so that at the end I wasn't surprised, and surprise is what comedy is really about.

Camera work - Well nothing terrible about it, but nothing great either. It was just simple shooting. The ugly orange outside was a bit distracting. Inside there were some sort of ugly shadows, but nothing bad that really needs a lot of fixing.

Editing - This is just wayyy too long. You didn't give all too much of a story, or much content, so why ramble and ramble for 4 minutes? Also I didn't see a purpose to cutting to the guys in the dojo. I though he was able to see them through the window and that's why we had the cut to the man inside on the punching bag. But it just kept cutting to them, and I really didn't know why. Was it to set something up? I would suggest taking the dojo guys out all together untill the end. Also trim off a lot of the repetitious dialogue. At a certain point I was thinking "okay, we get it, you think they're going to beat you up, can we get started with the story?"

Directing/Acting/Dialogue - Well it's clear that you guys aren't all too experienced. So I assume that these are just your friends. It shows. Nothing great about the acting. the dialogue wasn't well delivered, etc. But I won't go into detail about this.

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Anyways, hope you find my criticism useful and not too hurtful. Just keep working at it. It's a tough medium to work with that even the pros don't get right.
 
Criticism well taken, and I had nothing to do with the way it was shot, the story or the actors. I was just excited to shoot to be honest, only reason for posting this. :)
 
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