Typical Assumption

ah, the vx2000. I will never part ways with mine. :)

Anyway, time to talk about the short.

I liked the road this was heading down. It seems like you got the message across pretty well. The only problem with this is that it came across TOO well. The dialogue and acting was pretty hard to watch most of the time.

It seemed to jump around waaay too much. Although this could be a problem with time since you said you had to cut a lot of it.

You had some really nice shots throughout, and I think that the wardrobe was done effectively, considering the budget.

One thing that bothered me (only minorly) was the continuous music. I definately like Explosions In the Sky, but it sounded like you just threw down an entire song of theirs over the whole video. The music didn't seem to add to the short at all, but distract a little bit.

Once again, cinematography was pretty good. Some neat compositions and pretty good lighting.

All in all, not bad. It could definately use some work in some of the areas I mentioned before it is to its "Final" stage, in my opinion. But you're on the right track! Keep at it!
 
Oh, one more thing I want to mention. and this is IMPORTANT.

Your sound work wasn't too bad at all. The voices came through clean and clear. The problem was ambient noise(in a few places at least). Unless you were trying to capture a "buzzing" noise that is often heard in schools, I'd try to tone that down a little bit.
 
yes the buzzing noise, i kept in just to capture the school theme a little more... i tried to keep it low, but yeah it doesn't help when theres that buzzing noise everywhere haha and you dont have another way of capturing sound besides the oncamera mic, we couldn't go out and get a better mic or do voice overs simply because we only had 3 days to create, shoot, and edit the whole film.... it was due today for the competition. thanks soooo much for the help and I will def. keep it in mind if we decide to remake this short film and make it a little longer and better. ohhh and about the music... yeah its the only music that i could really find that would be ok during it.... everything else just wasn't right... if you could help me out with some ideas of better music that would fit this when i decide to revise it or reshoot it that would be sooo awesome.

thanks again.
 
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I think if you added a voice on a loudspeeker giving orders around the school would give the charecters a reason why they act the way they do. It sorta reminds me of soemthing from are you afraid of the dark haha. cool work man.
 
yep we had a narration of "the president" that we used multiple filters on to get it to sound like it was off of a radio or loudspeaker.... we had to take it out though because it was about a minute too long... we also chemistry,social studies, and PE scenes that we had to take out also when we found out it had to be around 5:00... the chemistry scenes was one of our better scenes, but there was no way possible we could keep it in and have the video under 5:00 unfortunately... oh well maybe in the revision. thanks sooo much for the feedback.
 
rhandomskate said:
yes the buzzing noise, i kept in just to capture the school theme a little more... i tried to keep it low, but yeah it doesn't help when theres that buzzing noise everywhere haha and you dont have another way of capturing sound besides the oncamera mic, we couldn't go out and get a better mic or do voice overs simply because we only had 3 days to create, shoot, and edit the whole film.... it was due today for the competition. thanks soooo much for the help and I will def. keep it in mind if we decide to remake this short film and make it a little longer and better. ohhh and about the music... yeah its the only music that i could really find that would be ok during it.... everything else just wasn't right... if you could help me out with some ideas of better music that would fit this when i decide to revise it or reshoot it that would be sooo awesome.
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Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. I think we all do here! Making a film on a ZERO budget is a pain in the arse! You guys still did pretty well considering the obstacles.

Anyway, about the music... What you could do, if you don't have anybody who can write music for you, is instead of just slapping down the entire song over the video, pick out parts of the song that might emphasize the emotions and actions displayed on the screen. Softer parts of the song over dialogue scenes, and if they say something crucial, find a moment in the song that seems equally as crucial! (It's a great song you decided to use though :thumbsup: )

Just fiddle around with it!
 
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