The Wanderer

yea i posted why the formatting is the way it is already...as far ast the year and days prior being in the scene heading i dont think that if this were to be filmed, we would actually show it super imposed on the screen, visually you can do it alot of ways...make the prior stuff look different, dream like, different color...maybe in slow mo...it can work without telling the audience with titles...it didnt get across if you liked the script or not?
 
yea i posted why the formatting is the way it is already...as far ast the year and days prior being in the scene heading i dont think that if this were to be filmed, we would actually show it super imposed on the screen, visually you can do it alot of ways...make the prior stuff look different, dream like, different color...maybe in slow mo...it can work without telling the audience with titles...it didnt get across if you liked the script or not?


I am loath to say this, but I enjoyed it, but would have enjoyed it more with more details, such as who and why, etc. I can't believe I said that. I always say more mystery is a good thing, but in this case I was left with more questions that I liked. Not that you are too far off, but just a little tweak. I can't really suggest how, since I don't know enough about the universe this story resides in to be more helpful.
 
thanks for reading and thanks for the comments guys...i wish the errors and the format was fixable ...i think i would have had a chance in this contest...
 
as for the who and why...i think 6 to 10 pgs is just not enough to explain it....if anyone has any suggestions...

That happens. I sometimes toss ideas, because they can't be told in the space provided. However, with limitations I find I can find a better, shorter, way of telling the story.
 
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