The Token

I wasn't refering to your comment, Russell. :) Just the overall predictibility of the story in general. It worked but may not have been quite as compelling for me as it was for you.
 
Just wanted to drop in and thank everyone for their comments so far. Everythings being taken in. Matt will be by at some point - he's a few hours North at the moment. Again, thank you for watching and giving us your thoughts.
 
Noel and Matt...enjoyed your short very much. Camera moves, grade, framing, lighting and props/locations all high quality. Same with the sound design - seems like there was a lot of care put there. The confrontation scene, from the Pulp Fiction moment on, I thought was beautifully executed.

There were some acting choices which were a little big/obvious for me. The old man shaking, adult Wilhelm's pouty look in his first shot. The kids weren't bad. This must the hardest part of making a no/low budget short...getting actors that lift it to the heights of the story/vision/technical execution

I thought the rifle got a little too close to Wilhelm...obviously the aim was to build suspense - it just didn't seem natural (I'd be keeping my distance! ::). (Perhaps the rifle click was all that was necessary, out of shot? And Wilhem's eye reaction?) And when he was having his drink, the trees swaying behind him (outside through the cracks) distracted me - I though this was the coming threat. The shot where the boy says "I found you", he's standing a metre away pointing...feels a little unnatural. On young Wilhelm's line "I wish I had one", it felt like a cu or 2 might have helped sell the moment...given its significance.

There was too much score for my taste, or maybe it just didn't work for me in places (a little overbearing or sentimental). In other places I thought it worked well.

I'm judging this after having just watched Breaking Bad, and I feel like I've done a lot of nit picking. I think this was a admirable effort and my overall feeling is definately positive.
 
Noel and Matt,

I knew from the frame grabs you guys were going to have the best looking film and you didnt dissapoint! really nice looking film.
The fade from boy to soldier was fantastic and my favorite piece of the film.

I completely expected Harrison Ford to jump from that truck as it drove off screen!! that thing was awesome!

Couple of Gripes:

The rifle during the close up was rock steady and when you cut to the 2 shot he was really shaking.
Also your DVX tracking was shaking/moving. When everything feels so natural a small vfx booboo is really noticeable
the glove noices felt a bit heavy handed also.

That aside...I really see this as the top film in the bunch.
Thanks!
 
Very well done. As has been noted before the production values were hands down the best of the fest. The grading of the film was also very appropriate and story motivated as opposed to being a "cool look."

The camera moves were noticable to a filmmaker, but to anyone else they would have just pulled them further into the story ... that was supposed to be a compliment ... not sure it reads that way, but it is praise.

The story fell a little flat for me, but this is just personal preference and not a criticism of you as filmmakers.

Great work!
 
This film was just beautiful to look at…but that was a given with Noel shooting! Locations were excellent. That truck and the costumes…great stuff. Sure to be one of the best of the fest.

That said, I feel it fell short on the story. I couldn’t believe the Nazi Wilhelm character…and how, in that tiny cabin, could you miss a grown man with a rifle and little boy under the table? Were they hiding in the cup or under the spoon on the table?:huh: As an officer, I would assume he’s searched a cabin before and killed many in cold blood...yes? I was expecting more of an ‘Inglorious Bastards’ feel when he just stares down at the chair…but no. We never get to see the rest of the cabin. Nothing felt natural to me. The interaction with the old man was just awkward.

I was also distracted by the tree movement behind the door that was to his back as he sat in the chair (this little scene was too long)…and the score from the start took me out of the film (‘Disney cute’ in the beginning…way overly dramatic in the rest). Maybe I’m just getting tired of hearing the same ‘phoned-in’, sampled instrument arrangements. Something more ethnic and of the period would have done wonders.

Then… the apple box in the end….D’OUGH!

I know this sounds rough, but you guys are all professionals and I’d be doing you a disservice if I wasn’t totally truthful.
Still can’t stop looking at the beautiful cinematography!
 
ZazaCast said:
This film was just beautiful to look at…but that was a given with Noel shooting! Locations were excellent. That truck and the costumes…great stuff. Sure to be one of the best of the fest.

That said, I feel it fell short on the story. I couldn’t believe the Nazi Wilhelm character…and how, in that tiny cabin, could you miss a grown man with a rifle and little boy under the table? Were they hiding in the cup or under the spoon on the table?:huh: As an officer, I would assume he’s searched a cabin before and killed many in cold blood...yes? I was expecting more of an ‘Inglorious Bastards’ feel when he just stares down at the chair…but no. We never get to see the rest of the cabin. Nothing felt natural to me. The interaction with the old man was just awkward.

I was also distracted by the tree movement behind the door that was to his back as he sat in the chair (this little scene was too long)…and the score from the start took me out of the film (‘Disney cute’ in the beginning…way overly dramatic in the rest). Maybe I’m just getting tired of hearing the same ‘phoned-in’, sampled instrument arrangements. Something more ethnic and of the period would have done wonders.

Then… the apple box in the end….D’OUGH!

I know this sounds rough, but you guys are all professionals and I’d be doing you a disservice if I wasn’t totally truthful.
Still can’t stop looking at the beautiful cinematography!
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I have to agree with most of this. I'd planned to read nothing of the thread before commenting, but at the same time... I was sure I'd be saying some of the exact same things others said.

To be fair... you're probably getting a little harsher criticism because 1) this is a film-making community... and 2) your entry looks SO good... and is SO close to "greatness".

There were only 3 technical things that I noticed (and a 4th if I'm being picky)... in this order; the apple box... the black-out cloth in the otherwise perfectly dressed set; and as zaza stated, the movement behind the door. The movement didn't bother me much aside from making me wonder if that's the soldiers or other people. (The picky "4th" thing... is the truck swerves around the cam/tripod... rather then staying in the worn center of the road.)

I also felt the fate of the boy and grandfather was a little vague. Clearly I see the boy breathing (heaving?)... and still hugging on to somebody... but that can go a couple ways. Add a gunshot sound and maybe they're dying together... or maybe he just shot the grandfather... and the dreidel left on the floor as the german soldier is riding away with a stern coldness in his face? That kept me wondering.

I'd have rather seen the two of them hiding under the table cloth... with the dreidel revealed as left in front of them... and-or some other sign that THIS farm house... was one that our soldier knew (as a reveal)... maybe instead of the final vignette of the two of them at the apple box... have the the truck drive away from the house and have the shot dissolve to a vignette of these two kids playing with the dreidel on that very front porch. (tripod dissolve shot "ghosting" the kids in... or use the truck drive-by as a wipe to the past).

Would the story have less impact if it was revealed that our soldier knew who the old man was (even if the old man didn't recognize him... and therefor we could assume the child may be the son of his friend?)

I hope you take the criticisms of your film well... I loved it.
 
Now this is war! Great production value all around. Nicely done.

I too was distracted by the movement behind the door. Maybe add sounds of soldiers searching or something. The story was pretty clear to me and I felt that they both lived in the end. Am I wrong? If anyone is dead it's the boy. It looks clear that the old man is holding him while rocking back and forth. I don't think the boy could pull that off considering the position.

I wanted German speaking Germans with English subtitles! That would have brought this to a whole new level for me.
And although it was shot beautifully, I felt it was lacking in the coverage department and that some shots lingered a little too long.

Great film though! Very worthy of WarFest. Congrats!

Justin, kudos on the scrore! Well done.
 
Theres a couple of critiques in the las few that left me smiling (in a good way), as the critique showed a level of care / thought, that made me believe those critiques actually cared for the story. Its nice to listen to people thoughts when they put so much into them. Thank you.
 
This film showcases some beautiful and very professional visuals - both with the cinematography and the colour grading. For that and the films excellent production values - I give it a big thumbs up!

Where the film struggled I think - was in how it attempted to create a sense of suspense - and a heartfelt sense of conflict (with our German Officers soul) over how he is behaving (to the types of people he may have once played with as a child.) This nostalgic childhood kind of reminisent is not an unfamiliar theme in war films - its a classic trope, but for it to work it has to have such a ball grabbing level of intensity - of feeling - that we really feel our nuts getting crushed seeing what this officer might or might not do. Not just that - but more importantly - we should feel that conflict play out much louder (in his heart) than with what evidence we are provided in the flashbacks.

That is - the flashbacks are cute BUT do they build up the kind of high noon stand off (that makes our officers battle of indoctrination vs soul) something deep and memorable?) Or is it just pretty and slightly forgettable.

I think unfortunately it falls to the later - because we do not have the opportunity to really feel that intensity. Everything else - gorgeous, shiny as a belt buckle, but it lacks fire imo.

Someone who is probably the indisputed master of setups/flashbacks is Sergio Leonne - and like yours these flashbacks are interwoven piece meal through the mainform narrative to a climactic conclusion.

Spoilers
Once Upon a Time in the West
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kD54-q1uFM

Duck you Suckers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGif2d0VZCA&playnext=1&list=PL0657FBD12CD721A7&feature=results_main

Of course those films are a product of the style of their time, and its not to say that the film requires as melodramatic an impact but... something of that sort would have struck the spirit with a more positive remembrance for your character and film.
 
Wow guys. What a huge amount of feedback. I'm glad that people enjoyed it and went into so much detail with their critiques. This tells me that people thought this was at a high standard so they really wanted to find things that could be improved. Also that people cared enough to take the time to make such a detailed critique. Thankyou DVXuser. I can definitely appreciate and in some cases agree with peoples criticisms and comments. There are even a couple of things mentioned that I originally thought about doing, but ended up second guessing myself. Which just goes to show, trust your instincts. For me I am incredibly proud of this short and always finish watching it with a smile on my face. I have already learnt so much more this time around that I can honestly say I love this short for all it's strengths and weaknesses.

Onwards and upwards.
 
Production value award right here. :)

My notes have been said all before. The faux shakiness of the rifle was a big one for me.

Comes in high on my list. Good work.
 
Rifle bugged me too, but...

Very nice work, just a beautiful looking film. I liked the juxtoposition between childhood and the cabin scene as well as how it was cut in.

Excellant work.
 
Spoiler-y review:

What I liked: Beautiful piece. Truly. Very very well done. The shots were superb, the audio (especially small things like the glove tightening on the trigger) was wonderful, the locations were fantastic, the music was perfect and so on... This was a great, great piece. I really thought this was going to go a different direction, but it didn't. I liked where it went. I haven't read through the threads yet (I didn't want to read any spoilers), but I'd love to see some BTS photos / videos if you have any.

What I didn't like as much: Nitpicking here, but the guy holding the gun, shaking and missing wasn't working for me.

This is definitely one of my top picks. Thank you for this piece.
 
Beautiful and ambitious film; definitely the closest to feeling like a "real" film rather than constrained to the limitations of a short-fest. And all that on a period-ish piece, really awesome!! I honestly can't put my finger on what or why (and for that, sorry!) but I found it a bit predictable. Not right from the start, but I found myself recognizing the moments just before they happened, which just put a bit of a lid on how awesomely produced and shot this obviously was. A minor complaint;well done!!
 
Beautiful! Definitely the production value winner! The locations were awesome and the camera work matched, wonderful. Love the crane/jib shot as the boys run off. Minor gripe: Adult Wilhelm's upper body felt really stiff as he walked around. He looked the part and did a great job on everything else. I thought the color grade at the beginning in 1920 Germany was nice but was really blue and over saturated when he is remembering back. This may have been a style choice but it was distracting to me. I felt like there was enough contrast visually and from the story content to not need any more added. Overall wonderful work!
 
EJBinSD said:
Very nice work, just a beautiful looking film. I liked the juxtoposition between childhood and the cabin scene as well as how it was cut in.

Excellant work.
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Thanks.

Hawk Teflon said:
Spoiler-y review:

What I liked: Beautiful piece. Truly. Very very well done. The shots were superb, the audio (especially small things like the glove tightening on the trigger) was wonderful, the locations were fantastic, the music was perfect and so on... This was a great, great piece. I really thought this was going to go a different direction, but it didn't. I liked where it went. I haven't read through the threads yet (I didn't want to read any spoilers), but I'd love to see some BTS photos / videos if you have any.

This is definitely one of my top picks. Thank you for this piece.
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Thanks Hawk. We were a little under crewed for the shoots, so unfortunately not much in the way of BTS.

bluemanrocks said:
Beautiful and ambitious film; definitely the closest to feeling like a "real" film rather than constrained to the limitations of a short-fest. And all that on a period-ish piece, really awesome!!
Click to expand...

Much appreciated.

Zach Olson said:
Beautiful! Definitely the production value winner! The locations were awesome and the camera work matched, wonderful. Love the crane/jib shot as the boys run off.
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Thanks Zach.
 
I LOVED the opening. I too would have preferred subtitles instead of English. I loved the transition from boy to man in uniform. Costumes, spot on. Story-telling through camera work, uber spot on! I do agree it seemed odd the old man came out of no where in such a small home.

I also agree the shakiness of the rifle was trite, but you can cut that out and go straight to the miss-fire.

You gave the character a "moral dilemma." You have layers of story here. LAYERS! This also felt like a mini-movie and did not feel like a short film. I did not think the "music" fit the storyline however. I think you needed softer tones to envelop your main character.

If I could give this a word - QUALITY. I would pay to go see this at a film festival. So fix the things you need and send it out there. GOOD Job!
 
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