jasonthewho
Veteran
I guess you're not actually in Dallas. I couldn't see your location when typing that.
The Small Multiple
- Thread starter pia12254
- Start date
alex whitmer
Veteran
Really enjoyed this one. I'd like to watch it again with the posted comments in mind, and then give some feedback. There is a lot here to absorb. Good stuff. Yummy film stuff.
a
a
pia12254
Well-known member
Matt, thanks for the comments! I really appreciate comments on the clarity of story/plot as that is something I wanted to work on with this film (if people don't understand what's going on it makes it hard to enjoy a film). 
My thought regarding why her sickness would be better is that in this "parallel universe" everything might look the same but there are subtle differences. For example, the newspaper is still on his workbench but now the headline has changed (Back to the Future anyone?). In the same way she is still the same person...mostly. In this version of her the illness is no longer existent.
I think Don explained this more eloquently in his post about the "infinite possibilities" and how the Small Multiple works to distinguish small variances etc.
Zoidoid, first of all (as I said in your thread) I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED your film! The ending was perfectly revealed at the right time. Gorgeous! I thought it was funny when I saw screen grabs from your thread I thought the same thing! Actually, I thought, "Man, I hope our story is not an exact copy!"
I'm glad the dramatic element came through. Oftentimes I get caught up in thinking, "Hey, this will look cool!" and neglect the emotional aspects of the film. Hopefully we were able to have a little bit of both...
Jason, I would love to work with you anytime you want! As I've said before your natural writing ability is ridiculous!!! Either Waco or Dallas/Denton we should definitely get together!
Glad you noticed the scruffy/clean shaven continuity! Trying to figure out the shooting schedule to match continuity between alternate universes was a little bit tricky! :laugh:
Just a quick note...I think the longer version of this might shed more light on some of the story details. The 6-minutes meant a lot of content/story had to be cut so hopefully we can get a longer version done and posted (in better quality) at some point.
Thanks for watching and thanks for the feedback! You guys ROCK!!!
Daniel
My thought regarding why her sickness would be better is that in this "parallel universe" everything might look the same but there are subtle differences. For example, the newspaper is still on his workbench but now the headline has changed (Back to the Future anyone?). In the same way she is still the same person...mostly. In this version of her the illness is no longer existent.
I think Don explained this more eloquently in his post about the "infinite possibilities" and how the Small Multiple works to distinguish small variances etc.
Zoidoid, first of all (as I said in your thread) I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED your film! The ending was perfectly revealed at the right time. Gorgeous! I thought it was funny when I saw screen grabs from your thread I thought the same thing! Actually, I thought, "Man, I hope our story is not an exact copy!"
I'm glad the dramatic element came through. Oftentimes I get caught up in thinking, "Hey, this will look cool!" and neglect the emotional aspects of the film. Hopefully we were able to have a little bit of both...
Jason, I would love to work with you anytime you want! As I've said before your natural writing ability is ridiculous!!! Either Waco or Dallas/Denton we should definitely get together!
Glad you noticed the scruffy/clean shaven continuity! Trying to figure out the shooting schedule to match continuity between alternate universes was a little bit tricky! :laugh:
Just a quick note...I think the longer version of this might shed more light on some of the story details. The 6-minutes meant a lot of content/story had to be cut so hopefully we can get a longer version done and posted (in better quality) at some point.
Thanks for watching and thanks for the feedback! You guys ROCK!!!
Daniel
conrad_johnson
Well-known member
Wow guys, 10 stars.
I had a hard time commenting on things because I wasn't thinking about commenting, I was just watching the movie. (this is good)
Here are some things i remember:
I love vignettes.
Nice eye shot.
Love the subject matter, I'm a total nerd and love nerdy talk. it reminded me of PI.
2:06.....press return.
How the hell did you do that floating cube? if that's cg, you have the most realistic cg ive ever seen here.
Lighting is great.
That's all I got. Like I said I was so enthralled, I forgot to critique it, which is I guess a critique in it self.
Booya,
Thanks,
-Joe
I had a hard time commenting on things because I wasn't thinking about commenting, I was just watching the movie. (this is good)
Here are some things i remember:
I love vignettes.
Nice eye shot.
Love the subject matter, I'm a total nerd and love nerdy talk. it reminded me of PI.
2:06.....press return.
How the hell did you do that floating cube? if that's cg, you have the most realistic cg ive ever seen here.
Lighting is great.
That's all I got. Like I said I was so enthralled, I forgot to critique it, which is I guess a critique in it self.
Booya,
Thanks,
-Joe
pia12254
Well-known member
Hey Joe!
Thanks for watching and I'm glad the floating cube caught your attention. I wish it were CG! If I was that good I would have done a film called "O3" and kicked some A**!
I think someone referenced it earlier in the thread but it has something to do with the superconductivity of magnets when supercooled...to uh....certain....uhm....yeah, I didn't understand it either. All I know is I got to buy some liquid nitrogen (cool stuff!) and make a magnet levitate!
I read about it online and thought it would make a cool visual element to kind of sell the "exotic" quality of the time machine. Initially I was terrified that this is an experiment everyone conducts in 5th Grade and they would all immediately say, "Hey, that's a levitating magnet. LAME!" (I was homeschooled and sometimes I am not sure what I may have missed out on)
Here are some pictures of us shooting that scene:
Thanks!
Thanks for watching and I'm glad the floating cube caught your attention. I wish it were CG! If I was that good I would have done a film called "O3" and kicked some A**!
I think someone referenced it earlier in the thread but it has something to do with the superconductivity of magnets when supercooled...to uh....certain....uhm....yeah, I didn't understand it either. All I know is I got to buy some liquid nitrogen (cool stuff!) and make a magnet levitate!
I read about it online and thought it would make a cool visual element to kind of sell the "exotic" quality of the time machine. Initially I was terrified that this is an experiment everyone conducts in 5th Grade and they would all immediately say, "Hey, that's a levitating magnet. LAME!" (I was homeschooled and sometimes I am not sure what I may have missed out on)
Here are some pictures of us shooting that scene:
Thanks!
Kyle Stebbins
AD GURU
Damn, sir! You've outdone yourself!
I loved God and Country so I knew that TSM was going to rule me in the face.
Dude, really great work here. That M2 is SHARP!! The floating cube was a fascinating little trick, and it's even more impressive that it was a real science experiment!
Loved it, man. 10 stars.
I do hope GaC is kicking some serious ass. I'm back in business with my MacBook so I'd be willing to take another crack at that poster design.
I loved God and Country so I knew that TSM was going to rule me in the face.
Dude, really great work here. That M2 is SHARP!! The floating cube was a fascinating little trick, and it's even more impressive that it was a real science experiment!
Loved it, man. 10 stars.
I do hope GaC is kicking some serious ass. I'm back in business with my MacBook so I'd be willing to take another crack at that poster design.
pia12254
Well-known member
Kyle,
Great to hear from you dude! Thanks for watching and glad you liked it!!!
I couldn't remember if I told you that "God and Country" won the award for Best Narrative Short at the GI Film Festival in D.C. a few weeks ago! I would love to see more of your ideas for the poster design! The one you already did was very sylistic and would definitely grab the attention of anyone walking by it!
I'm jealous you got to work on "O2"!
Daniel
Great to hear from you dude! Thanks for watching and glad you liked it!!!
I couldn't remember if I told you that "God and Country" won the award for Best Narrative Short at the GI Film Festival in D.C. a few weeks ago! I would love to see more of your ideas for the poster design! The one you already did was very sylistic and would definitely grab the attention of anyone walking by it!
I'm jealous you got to work on "O2"!
Daniel
Gary Sconce
Veteran
Wonderful film. I had just a litle problem with the facial expressions of the lead actor in one scene. You editing was superb as was the cinematography. I really liked your use of all that rack-mounted lab/hamradio/computer stuff added to cool lighting of the lab set.
For me the floating of the Yttrium Oxide cube superconductivity demo worked and added to the lab scene.
The tragedy of his final outcome was very poignant. Did she have a lung problem due to the falling of the world trade center? Was the fact that it didn't fall in the new reality attributing to her now leading a disease free life in happiness with the other version of himself? I was a little lost as to her physical problem and its solution.
Overall, one of my favorite films of the fest! Nice job.
For me the floating of the Yttrium Oxide cube superconductivity demo worked and added to the lab scene.
The tragedy of his final outcome was very poignant. Did she have a lung problem due to the falling of the world trade center? Was the fact that it didn't fall in the new reality attributing to her now leading a disease free life in happiness with the other version of himself? I was a little lost as to her physical problem and its solution.
Overall, one of my favorite films of the fest! Nice job.
Brad S.
Well-known member
That's an interesting idea that I hadn't thought of. I always took it as she is still the same, but in the alternate universe that she goes to they have a cure for her disease.
Duff
Well-known member
I really like the script for this one. Reminds me of the old teleportation conundrum -- say you built a teleportation device that would create an exact copy of a person in another location, then a matter of microseconds later destroy the original. If you're the new, teleported copy, you think the device worked flawlessly, but if you're the original, would you want to be unmade? Sort of how his alternate-universe-self will be forever unaware of the suffering he must endure in an alternate reality.
Maybe I'm alone here, but I thought the acting was the weakest link, particularly the "let me work" scene. The pacing seemed a bit rushed in that scene, too. The "warm" scenes were too vibrant in my opinion, to the extent that it looked unnatural and distracted from what was happening.
Voice-over scenes with him working and all the footage of the time machine were top-notch. That floating magnet is an awesome touch, and no, we didn't get to see that cool trick in public school. Time travel effects were very well done. In general the lighting/cinematography and sound were great. Story was well told, such that the twist was immediately understandable. Nicely done.
Maybe I'm alone here, but I thought the acting was the weakest link, particularly the "let me work" scene. The pacing seemed a bit rushed in that scene, too. The "warm" scenes were too vibrant in my opinion, to the extent that it looked unnatural and distracted from what was happening.
Voice-over scenes with him working and all the footage of the time machine were top-notch. That floating magnet is an awesome touch, and no, we didn't get to see that cool trick in public school
. Time travel effects were very well done. In general the lighting/cinematography and sound were great. Story was well told, such that the twist was immediately understandable. Nicely done.
pia12254
Well-known member
Man, all you guys are way too intelligent for me! All the possibilities and explanations are mind boggling...but I think that is one of the reasons I chose the script. I liked the questions it presented and the way it makes you think/analyze after the fact.
In my opinion the science/theory of the story really acts as more of a support and catalyst for the drama/meaning of the story. But it is an intriguing concept and I think that helps make the story that much more interesting.
I agree with you Duff, the script was very solid! I guess it really is true that you have to start with a good script/story for everything else to work.
I appreciate your comments on acting/pacing as well as the color correction.
The "let me work" scene probably feels rushed because I cut out 80% of the dialogue for that scene in order to make the 6-minute mark. :cheesy: I think if there had been enough time to let the scene play in its entirety it would probably feel a little more natural as the dialogue and interaction there have a nice progressive build. In fact, I feel like the better pieces of dialogue and interaction between Frank and Cathy were left on the cutting room floor in an effort to make the 6-minutes. Hopefully some of that can be resurrected in a longer edit as Don had some really great lines in there!
I would love to see "Directors Cuts" of the other films in this competition that had to cut stuff out to meet the time requirement...I think it would be fascinating to compare both versions!
I agree with you on the color correction as well! I think that was my least favorite aspect of the film and something I want to improve!
Thanks for the feedback guys. Very helpful!!!
Daniel
All the possibilities and explanations are mind boggling...but I think that is one of the reasons I chose the script. I liked the questions it presented and the way it makes you think/analyze after the fact.In my opinion the science/theory of the story really acts as more of a support and catalyst for the drama/meaning of the story. But it is an intriguing concept and I think that helps make the story that much more interesting.
I agree with you Duff, the script was very solid! I guess it really is true that you have to start with a good script/story for everything else to work.
I appreciate your comments on acting/pacing as well as the color correction.
The "let me work" scene probably feels rushed because I cut out 80% of the dialogue for that scene in order to make the 6-minute mark. :cheesy: I think if there had been enough time to let the scene play in its entirety it would probably feel a little more natural as the dialogue and interaction there have a nice progressive build. In fact, I feel like the better pieces of dialogue and interaction between Frank and Cathy were left on the cutting room floor in an effort to make the 6-minutes. Hopefully some of that can be resurrected in a longer edit as Don had some really great lines in there!
I would love to see "Directors Cuts" of the other films in this competition that had to cut stuff out to meet the time requirement...I think it would be fascinating to compare both versions!
I agree with you on the color correction as well! I think that was my least favorite aspect of the film and something I want to improve!
Thanks for the feedback guys. Very helpful!!!
Daniel
Will Clegg
Veteran
Daniel, this was really fantastic. I'm a bit speechless.
I thought the acting was better in this film than any other I have seen in the fest, and the story, cinematography, all of it - just top notch. Well done.
I thought the acting was better in this film than any other I have seen in the fest, and the story, cinematography, all of it - just top notch. Well done.
artofsuntzu
Active member
Masterpiece short!
Multiverses handled in a clear and researched way... a story delivered in such an entertaining and emotional way... brilliant work.
Multiverses handled in a clear and researched way... a story delivered in such an entertaining and emotional way... brilliant work.
Chris Messineo
Veteran
I hope you'll pardon a brief threadjack.
Don Riemer is a good friend of mine and one of my favorite short script writers. If anyone is looking for a script to shoot, you should definitely check out some of his other work.
Okay, the threadjack is over, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Don Riemer is a good friend of mine and one of my favorite short script writers. If anyone is looking for a script to shoot, you should definitely check out some of his other work.
Okay, the threadjack is over, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
pia12254
Well-known member
You are more than welcome to threadjack Chris! Seriously, if there is anyone who has not been to the MoviePoet.com site GO NOW!!!
If it were not for this resource I probably would have written some crappy, hack of a story. But with this site you have access to hundreds of great scripts that just happen to be the PERFECT LENGTH for the DVXUser contests! Every writer I have contacted about turning their script into a film has been more than gracious.
And working with Don on revising the script to meet our needs was a very smooth experience. So, thank you Chris for providing this resource and promoting it to the DVXUser community!
Daniel
If it were not for this resource I probably would have written some crappy, hack of a story. But with this site you have access to hundreds of great scripts that just happen to be the PERFECT LENGTH for the DVXUser contests! Every writer I have contacted about turning their script into a film has been more than gracious.
And working with Don on revising the script to meet our needs was a very smooth experience. So, thank you Chris for providing this resource and promoting it to the DVXUser community!
Daniel
artofsuntzu
Active member
I am more than happy to applaud all the people who crafted your story (you, Don, moviepoet).
I also wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your direction on the short. I watch the DVX fest by having a DVD-hometheatre-mini-festival to show the shorts to a group of (non)filmmaking friends. And the group just loved how you told the story.
So, great job on telling this story through your choice of shots, edits, pacing, score, etc.
Shawn Philip Nelson
Veteran
Wow! I really enjoyed this! The story confused me. I got that it was multiverse (and I get that), but exactly why he wanted to go to the otherone was interesting. If he was going to copy himself over, why not copy her over too? After the newspaper showing the twin towers still standing I got my mind in gear for a 'un-doing Sep 11' story then never got out of that, perhaps that was my problem.
The cinematography was awesome!!! Great stuff here, from the opening to the closing shot, very strong.
I thought your actors did well, but there were too many lines of dialogue. I think if you cut down your syllables in half your actors could have done even better.
Good job dude, a very solid piece.
The cinematography was awesome!!! Great stuff here, from the opening to the closing shot, very strong.
I thought your actors did well, but there were too many lines of dialogue. I think if you cut down your syllables in half your actors could have done even better.
Good job dude, a very solid piece.
pia12254
Well-known member
artofsuntzu, thanks for the comments. :cheesy: It is encouraging to hear that the "average person" (i.e. non-filmmaker) was able to grasp the story and appreciate the way it was told! I love to hear how an average viewer responds as I think they often look for and appreciate things differently than fellow filmmakers might. Also, love the idea of the DVD-hometheatre-mini-festival!!! I'm gonna have to try that next fest!
Shawn, sorry the "twin towers" thing threw you off! We actually referenced that again and showed an alternate headline in the full length version but of course that got cut to make the 6-minutes! When you say "too many lines of dialogue" did you mean there was too much dialogue in the film as a whole or that it felt too rushed/crammed in the way it was written, delivered or edited?
Thanks again guys!
Daniel
Shawn, sorry the "twin towers" thing threw you off! We actually referenced that again and showed an alternate headline in the full length version but of course that got cut to make the 6-minutes!
When you say "too many lines of dialogue" did you mean there was too much dialogue in the film as a whole or that it felt too rushed/crammed in the way it was written, delivered or edited? Thanks again guys!
Daniel