The Dust Settles

After all the hullabaloo I'm kind of afraid of posting my thoughts...but what the hell. I have to completey agree with Lawrie's review of the film. The thing that killed it for me was the high shutter speed and ADR, it made it uncomfortable to watch...that said, it was great in the fighting scene as I think you want to be on edge for that (like in "Saving Private Ryan"). The story has been done and is based in fact going back to the civil war, but it needed a fresh treatment IMHO. Death scene over the top? ...yes, but I've seen much worse. To be honest, dialogue considered, I didn't know if you were trying to be funny there or not. Still a good film and stand-up effort.

If I had a some crew, like a real DP, along with some great equipment like a dolly, crane, steadycame, sound, and over a week to film it, the movie would have been fantastic.
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I'd like to respond to this comment of yours. It might seem true, but in reality it's not. It all comes down to the story not the lack of equipment or crew. This is the first fest I chose NOT to enter since 2008 (9 entries total to date) and all my films are a 'one man band' deal...there's just me and if I'm lucky, I can get one of the actors to hold a boom when they're not in a scene...or maybe I can have them bring one of their kids along to help out. In all those entries...over all those years...not even one of them placed. Did I think that correct? Was I offened at the ripping some of them recieved? Did it hurt my feelings with all the hard work, personal funding & hours I put into what I thought was a good film?

Hell's Yeah! :)
(I kid) You need a very thick skin and everyone will have a different opinion. Not all the comments you receive are correct, mearly someone's opinion to be taken with a grain of salt. You need to just keep doing what you're doing and be true to yourself...make your films for you. Lawrie is probably the most honest reviewer here and is not afraid to step on a toe (or two...or ten!), but that's the best way to learn. When a baby bird is ready to fly, it is pushed out of the nest to fall to the ground with a thump or fly forward in it's life.

Don't fall to the ground with a thump (that's Bill's job!). I see constant improvement in your films, sometimes we have to take a step back to take a step forward. Learn from the comments and kick ass in the next fest.
:beer:
 
ZazaCast said:
After all the hullabaloo I'm kind of afraid of posting my thoughts...but what the hell. I have to completey agree with Lawrie's review of the film. The thing that killed it for me was the high shutter speed and ADR, it made it uncomfortable to watch...that said, it was great in the fighting scene as I think you want to be on edge for that (like in "Saving Private Ryan"). The story has been done and is based in fact going back to the civil war, but it needed a fresh treatment IMHO. Death scene over the top? ...yes, but I've seen much worse. To be honest, dialogue considered, I didn't know if you were trying to be funny there or not. Still a good film and stand-up effort.


I'd like to respond to this comment of yours. It might seem true, but in reality it's not. It all comes down to the story not the lack of equipment or crew. This is the first fest I chose NOT to enter since 2008 (9 entries total to date) and all my films are a 'one man band' deal...there's just me and if I'm lucky, I can get one of the actors to hold a boom when they're not in a scene...or maybe I can have them bring one of their kids along to help out. In all those entries...over all those years...not even one of them placed. Did I think that correct? Was I offened at the ripping some of them recieved? Did it hurt my feelings with all the hard work, personal funding & hours I put into what I thought was a good film?

Hell's Yeah! :)
(I kid) You need a very thick skin and everyone will have a different opinion. Not all the comments you receive are correct, mearly someone's opinion to be taken with a grain of salt. You need to just keep doing what you're doing and be true to yourself...make your films for you. Lawrie is probably the most honest reviewer here and is not afraid to step on a toe (or two...or ten!), but that's the best way to learn. When a baby bird is ready to fly, it is pushed out of the nest to fall to the ground with a thump or fly forward in it's life.

Don't fall to the ground with a thump (that's Bill's job!). I see constant improvement in your films, sometimes we have to take a step back to take a step forward. Learn from the comments and kick ass in the next fest.
:beer:
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thanks man, I appreciate the feedback :) I do agree with the high shutter speed, I was trying to mimic saving private ryan which kept it throughout. But it doesnt work as well on dslrs.
Sorry about all the hullabaloo I caused today, I hope I havnt made any enemies! Feeling a little down so I act weird in that state, no excuse for being a butt through :/
 
I won't echo the criticisms, but I will say this definitely wasn't boring. Very ambitious for such a low budget.
 
Locations, costumes, and the overall "look" of the film was fantastic. Acting was pretty good too. I think a couple of more script revisions to tighten the story would have helped, but overall a good effort.

The most important thing here is Zaza's post. It looks like you've taken it to heart and his advice will help you going forward more than any critique or opinion on the film itself. :)
 
I enjoyed the action scenes. Very ambitious and you really got some nice shots(no pun intended) :)

I echo whats already been stated about the dialogue. Perhaps some of the exposition or setting up the fact that they are brothers could've been handled in the beginning instead of giving us a rundown of their rations etc. When they finally met at the end, they just seemed like strangers to me and it carried no real dramatic punch as I was not personally invested in the characters.
Granted I know the time limit for the film would make it difficult to fit it in, maybe something as simple as...we see they both carry the same family photo.

Technically the audio was off for me, don't know if that was on my end or not.

I really liked the look of it and the camera movement.
The action sequence rocked and I am more than impressed that you pulled this off in the time that you did. Hell...I'd have been impressed with it regardless.
Good luck in the fest.
 
Cool stuff Jace!

I loved the authenticity that Jared lent to the production.

Since I know you in person, I know your style more than I would had I only viewed your film.

That said I think you should embrace the quirkiness and style of humor that finds itself in your work. This entry seemed to push toward a more serious tone, as with the two brothers opposing one another. I don't feel like you fully embraced that scene as a serious dramatic scene because I don't think you truly wanted the weight of what that moment could really have been. But yet it wasn't pushed into the fun campy style which I know you like to delve. It fell somewhere in between the two and came off less effective.

Just a thought, that I encourage you to keep that dark sense of humor you have in your work. :)
 
AJ Brooks said:
Cool stuff Jace!

I loved the authenticity that Jared lent to the production.

Since I know you in person, I know your style more than I would had I only viewed your film.

That said I think you should embrace the quirkiness and style of humor that finds itself in your work. This entry seemed to push toward a more serious tone, as with the two brothers opposing one another. I don't feel like you fully embraced that scene as a serious dramatic scene because I don't think you truly wanted the weight of what that moment could really have been. But yet it wasn't pushed into the fun campy style which I know you like to delve. It fell somewhere in between the two and came off less effective.

Just a thought, that I encourage you to keep that dark sense of humor you have in your work. :)
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thanks man! And yah quirky is a trade of mine, but lately I wanted to try something a bit more serious. But being that it was my first go at drama, I wasnt as happy about it watching it as a whole. I will keep playing with genres until I get to the point where the audience can feel the same way I did when I first imagined how I wanted a dramatic the scene to feel. I will admit, its different adapting something that I didnt write, even though Jared wrote a much better version then I could have, it was still not as connected with this story I usually am with my shorts.

Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg, to me arent just the "generically good hollywood directors". Because they both have a way of blending two or more feelings seamlessly into a balance of light hearted fun, but perfectly complementing that with some very good thrills, and to top it all off ending on touching sentimentality..... not too many other directors do it, they are either too serious, or too goofy. I want to try to get to the point where I can blend two or more feelings in a story without it seeming out of place or campy…. Got a little ways to go, but I will keep working at it. :)

So to reflect on this fest, I definitely learned some good material, figured out mistakes and what I needed to improve on… so in the words of Ed Wood- "Well, my next one will be better!" :)
 
Given everything said, I really like the opening and the shutter speed. I love a good rock quarrie and this was probably not an easiest place to shoot. Some great shots using shallow depth of field as well.

It was the separation between the action and the talking that seemed like a really big shift to me that slowed things down a little too much and shifted the feel.
 
EJBinSD said:
Given everything said, I really like the opening and the shutter speed. I love a good rock quarrie and this was probably not an easiest place to shoot. Some great shots using shallow depth of field as well.

It was the separation between the action and the talking that seemed like a really big shift to me that slowed things down a little too much and shifted the feel.
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Noted, I had a realization the other day going through all my film, they all seem to be that way. They all seem to be an entire feature (all al that goes with it like a vary of emotions and feelings) crammed into 6 mins. But that really only works on a feature when you have more time to develop the story. With shorts, you kinda got to get to the point a lot quicker.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback!
 
Spoiler-y review:

Note: I've intentionally not read any reviews of the shorts until I post mine because I don't want to be swayed one way or another, so there will be plenty of duplication in this, but maybe I can add more:

What I liked: The freaking cast. Looked really good. Also liked the use of the uniforms. At first I didn't understand why the US was fighting the US, but then realized it could be a modern day Civil War. Interesting concept (if that was what it was). The action scenes looked pretty good, too.

What I didn't like as much: The audio. The ADR made it rough. It sounds like it was recorded indoors, but the scene is outside. There's no depth to the voices like there would be sitting in an open area like that. I could be wrong, but it looks like your shutter was a little high for the scenes. For the most part, try to keep your shutter at 2x frame rate or it'll look "too sharp" and jarring. The 50 or 60 (depending on frame rate) will have enough motion blur to look normal. Once the action started, it was alright given the motion and camera moves. I'm sure Doc can take this better than I can, but the sounds of the guns didn't seem accurate to me, and I don't know about guns. So that means that someone that DOES will probably think, "That was a pistol round coming from that AR15." Also, was that guy using a shotgun for distance? It got a little dark in the woods. Could have been from your high shutter. The ending needed a little room to "breathe." It seemed very rushed. Let the scene take place. I know he's dying, but he won't die until you, the director, tell him to. A little silence from speaking won't hurt.

I know I'm heavy on the second half there, but most of those are small changes that can be made, AND they're just my opinion. I definitely think you're getting better. I'm not used to your serious stuff.
 
Vivid visuals, fast pacing (until the death scene which felt a little slow to me) and true in-the-moment/action WAR. A different approach from the rest of the fest (which actually surprises me, that more didn't go for the wham-bam-pow feel) and refreshing in that respect. I also think it suffered a little bit from middleground-edness: it was like super crazy action flick but then also as if somebody tried to jam a poignant story in at the end, and it all happened so suddenly that I was left a bit confused. I don't mean that one need focus on either purely action or purely story, but I think a more consistent narrative direction/tone would've helped me out. Still, loved the truly action-packed-ness of this short!!
 
bluemanrocks said:
Vivid visuals, fast pacing (until the death scene which felt a little slow to me) and true in-the-moment/action WAR. A different approach from the rest of the fest (which actually surprises me, that more didn't go for the wham-bam-pow feel) and refreshing in that respect. I also think it suffered a little bit from middleground-edness: it was like super crazy action flick but then also as if somebody tried to jam a poignant story in at the end, and it all happened so suddenly that I was left a bit confused. I don't mean that one need focus on either purely action or purely story, but I think a more consistent narrative direction/tone would've helped me out. Still, loved the truly action-packed-ness of this short!!
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thanks for the feedback! :)
 
Hawk Teflon said:
Spoiler-y review:

Note: I've intentionally not read any reviews of the shorts until I post mine because I don't want to be swayed one way or another, so there will be plenty of duplication in this, but maybe I can add more:

What I liked: The freaking cast. Looked really good. Also liked the use of the uniforms. At first I didn't understand why the US was fighting the US, but then realized it could be a modern day Civil War. Interesting concept (if that was what it was). The action scenes looked pretty good, too.

What I didn't like as much: The audio. The ADR made it rough. It sounds like it was recorded indoors, but the scene is outside. There's no depth to the voices like there would be sitting in an open area like that. I could be wrong, but it looks like your shutter was a little high for the scenes. For the most part, try to keep your shutter at 2x frame rate or it'll look "too sharp" and jarring. The 50 or 60 (depending on frame rate) will have enough motion blur to look normal. Once the action started, it was alright given the motion and camera moves. I'm sure Doc can take this better than I can, but the sounds of the guns didn't seem accurate to me, and I don't know about guns. So that means that someone that DOES will probably think, "That was a pistol round coming from that AR15." Also, was that guy using a shotgun for distance? It got a little dark in the woods. Could have been from your high shutter. The ending needed a little room to "breathe." It seemed very rushed. Let the scene take place. I know he's dying, but he won't die until you, the director, tell him to. A little silence from speaking won't hurt.

I know I'm heavy on the second half there, but most of those are small changes that can be made, AND they're just my opinion. I definitely think you're getting better. I'm not used to your serious stuff.
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thanks for the review! Yes, we didnt actually have a sound person on the team as they hard to drop out at the last minute, we had to learn as we went along. Most of it audio right off the camera so it sounded a little scratchy. hopefully next time we'll have a sound team with us
 
Jace! I love the idea of the 2nd Civil War. The fight scene was great and the bad commander was well cast. All of your locations are beautiful! Minor gripe but facial hair for someone in the US military... Your film was pushing the limit (6 minutes) on the time. We got right away with the "Conner?" line that these two guys know each other. After Robbie gets shot there should have been hardly any dialog. Something like, "Robbie? Robbie!" Shakes him a bit. Robbie, "It's OK baby brothe..." Conner, "No, no. No!" He holds him, tears flowing down face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry big brother, I'm sorry." Or something like that. More showing, less talking. That would have told us everything we needed to know. I think it would have also helped show the dynamic difference in the "good" side and the "bad" side. Gives the younger brother a chance for redemption. Instead of killing him at the end it may have been better to have him stop, realize Robbie is gone, take his patch or dog tags, stand, and say, "Not in vain." (ok, that line would need more work but you get the idea.) Overall great entry! Looking forward to whatever you produce next!
 
Zach Olson said:
Jace! I love the idea of the 2nd Civil War. The fight scene was great and the bad commander was well cast. All of your locations are beautiful! Minor gripe but facial hair for someone in the US military... Your film was pushing the limit (6 minutes) on the time. We got right away with the "Conner?" line that these two guys know each other. After Robbie gets shot there should have been hardly any dialog. Something like, "Robbie? Robbie!" Shakes him a bit. Robbie, "It's OK baby brothe..." Conner, "No, no. No!" He holds him, tears flowing down face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry big brother, I'm sorry." Or something like that. More showing, less talking. That would have told us everything we needed to know. I think it would have also helped show the dynamic difference in the "good" side and the "bad" side. Gives the younger brother a chance for redemption. Instead of killing him at the end it may have been better to have him stop, realize Robbie is gone, take his patch or dog tags, stand, and say, "Not in vain." (ok, that line would need more work but you get the idea.) Overall great entry! Looking forward to whatever you produce next!
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Thanks man! Appreciate the feedback!
And all the writing came from my brother who wrote this from his experience in Iraq/Afghanistan, I just sort of directed what he wrote. I will pass on your notes to him :)
 
Concept of a second civil war, good one, however, don't think it was well executed as I couldn't really tell one group from another. If such a thing were to occur, I do believe there would be a stark difference in modern age on the costumes. Having said that however, you did acquire quite a few believable costumes and weapons.

I am not a fan of the battle sequence because honestly, you couldn't really "see" what was going on. You filmed a soldier shooting a machine gun, for all I know he could have aimed at the trees. I didn't "feel" the battle. While many here say it's ambitious, you still have to "show us" the story.

First victim took a piss, sunglasses on top of his head. On the ground his sunglasses were on. How does that happen? Small details are sooo important.

Death scene, you should have shot the guy in the arms, legs, whatever, then may-be (and that's not a likely maybe) I would have believed he could have spouted all of that dialogue while bleeding out. Shoot him in the chest and uh, he got off a TREMENDOUS amount of dialogue. Didn't work for me.

Stereotypical bad-ass SGT. also didn't work for me.

Good concept. Good props. Good costumes (for the most part). Story lacking.
 
Charli said:
Concept of a second civil war, good one, however, don't think it was well executed as I couldn't really tell one group from another. If such a thing were to occur, I do believe there would be a stark difference in modern age on the costumes. Having said that however, you did acquire quite a few believable costumes and weapons.

I am not a fan of the battle sequence because honestly, you couldn't really "see" what was going on. You filmed a soldier shooting a machine gun, for all I know he could have aimed at the trees. I didn't "feel" the battle. While many here say it's ambitious, you still have to "show us" the story.



First victim took a piss, sunglasses on top of his head. On the ground his sunglasses were on. How does that happen? Small details are sooo important.

Death scene, you should have shot the guy in the arms, legs, whatever, then may-be (and that's not a likely maybe) I would have believed he could have spouted all of that dialogue while bleeding out. Shoot him in the chest and uh, he got off a TREMENDOUS amount of dialogue. Didn't work for me.

Stereotypical bad-ass SGT. also didn't work for me.

Good concept. Good props. Good costumes (for the most part). Story lacking.
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the tricky thing about the production was, it took place in an environment were actual shooting was going on as it was a real shooting range, and they didnt like us being there. So we were forced to rush through it as best as we could while also not getting shot ourselves :p so we didnt have time to pay attention to the little details. If I had a week to shoot this thing it would have been a lot better.
We had 0 budget, all the costumes were found from friends, and the guns were my brother who is an actual veteran (he also wrote the story/script)
Dialog was our weak point as none of us had done anything like this before. But we learned a lot from the reviews.


In general I think we did pretty good for what little we had to work with, and I thank you for the review! :)
 
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