Take - a porchwax film

Preston, this was good man. I like how you set out to construct a character piece. Good acting by your lead, he did a fair job of portraying a man with nothing left to really live for. I like that you had the dog involved, it made the movie sadder in some ways.. at least for me because it reminds me of my dog.. but yea, liked his performance and he did a solid job on the voiceover.

My only critical thoughts are maybe it could have been a little shorter. I don't think you need six minutes to get that message/feeling across. I think it'd be more impactful if the story was condensed to maybe four minutes or something. All in all, I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
 
So i get that he lost someone close to him and that he misses her, but all i could think about the whole time was what happened to her. maybe im missing the bigger picture but i was distracted by that one thought. over all though i think it touching and real
 
SMarston said:
So i get that he lost someone close to him and that he misses her, but all i could think about the whole time was what happened to her. maybe im missing the bigger picture but i was distracted by that one thought. over all though i think it touching and real
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well i wanted to focus more on how it affected him, rather than give details about what happened to the child. it could have been a tragic accident or a disease or whatever, but i wanted to show the emotional impact instead.

thank you for watching and taking the time to comment. i hope you enjoyed it.
 
Geoff_R said:
Preston, this was good man. I like how you set out to construct a character piece. Good acting by your lead, he did a fair job of portraying a man with nothing left to really live for. I like that you had the dog involved, it made the movie sadder in some ways.. at least for me because it reminds me of my dog.. but yea, liked his performance and he did a solid job on the voiceover.

My only critical thoughts are maybe it could have been a little shorter. I don't think you need six minutes to get that message/feeling across. I think it'd be more impactful if the story was condensed to maybe four minutes or something. All in all, I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
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wow Geoff, thank you. i am glad you enjoyed my film, and also that you took the time to give feedback. i had no idea how it would be received, so to see that it worked for talented filmmakers like you and the other guys on here is a big relief.
thanks again for your comments.
 
i loved this. great colors, lighting, and mood. the actor was terrific and your editing was well done. you really have a good eye for details. a couple of really great angles in there. also, the music went with the story perfectly. nice work!
 
I dug this. Maybe a tad heavy/long. Liked some of the shots, pretty interesting stuff.
Liked the dog as well. I do think the edit could be cut down in length though.

The music was great! How did you go about getting it? I have no idea how to get permission for that sort of thing.

Good work.

MAH
 
Good work Preston, maybe you should give yourself less than a month to do your next film also, you seem to work well under pressure:)
 
Though slower at the beginning, it really started to pick up for me as he was struggling & delaying with taking the pills, and LOVED the elapsed effect you had going on as time passed & he basically paced around the idea of doing anything (really loved the shot of him praying).

In the end, however, since we never SAW him take the pills, and since he only had one bottle in his hand (the other looking undisturbed), it wasn't clear to me if he had simply fallen asleep after a mentally & emotionally exhausting day, or if he had downed a bottle & was now dead?

Solid outing, regardless, and enjoyed it for a slower paced, dramatic & depressing ending. :)
 
Morox said:
Definitely "felt" it. The dog added a nice touch as well. Made it even sadder.

Great job though. I really dug it.
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thank you for watching. i'm glad you felt the character's loss.

Norm Sanders said:
Though slower at the beginning, it really started to pick up for me as he was struggling & delaying with taking the pills, and LOVED the elapsed effect you had going on as time passed & he basically paced around the idea of doing anything (really loved the shot of him praying).

In the end, however, since we never SAW him take the pills, and since he only had one bottle in his hand (the other looking undisturbed), it wasn't clear to me if he had simply fallen asleep after a mentally & emotionally exhausting day, or if he had downed a bottle & was now dead?

Solid outing, regardless, and enjoyed it for a slower paced, dramatic & depressing ending. :)
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Norm, thanks for your reply... you're the first to touch on something with your "however" response.
we shot a "happy" ending where he gets up and answers the door. a few days later, we shot what i call the "ambiguous" ending, where it's exactly what you said - is he dead? sleeping? does she get help? i decided to go this route, because i thought it was more powerful, and less traditional. and less defined as well.

i'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for your review.
 
Morox said:
Definitely "felt" it. The dog added a nice touch as well. Made it even sadder.

Great job though. I really dug it.
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agreed. the dog definitely adds something.

I thought the yellow indoors worked really well. Especially the bathroom when he's taking the meds. Awesome. Only complaint is the dreamy looking outdoor stuff. Which is just an opinion. So otherwise good job dude!
 
I feel what you were going for with this but I couldn't quite connect. It felt a little clinical like "this is the end result of losing someone you care about" if that makes any sense. I wish that their had been a little more meat on it.

That being said, there aren't a lot of technical issues or anything. The yellow image cast was effective and you got some strong images. The actor's performance fit and the dog did add an extra element to it.

If I sound like I didn't like it, I don't mean to. There was some good stuff here. I just needed to connect with the character more. Thanks for sharing it!
 
definetally felt it. Started out slow but I soon became interested in the character. Love how the dog was pawing the pills. I felt sometimes the shot comp wasn't perfect but still an outstanding job. Couldn't tell if he was asleep or dead in the end though? thought i heard breathing?
 
This was a nice piece. I wish it wasn't so yellow though... Did you add that color grade or is that how you shot it? You really used the music and the dog very well to help the story along. I would agree with some others that it could have been a bit shorter, but it was still very strong.
 
Spoiler: Suicide shorts, the cliche that is all cliche. so I'm gonna be harsh with my review.

When I saw this two words come to mind, emotional masturbation. I read a script for a short which is very similar and used the same type of voice over and gave the same review. I'm sorry I'm being so harsh but it has to be said in order to stop more of these.

You could've saved 5 minutes, 30 seconds by filming the following.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

MAN looks in mirror and puts gun to head. He pulls the trigger. Blood splatters (or pools. Whatever your style is).

FADE OUT. THE END.

Story: - 1 million
Visuals/edit/sound: pretty good
 
Mobie540 said:
Spoiler: Suicide shorts, the cliche that is all cliche. so I'm gonna be harsh with my review.

When I saw this two words come to mind, emotional masturbation. I read a script for a short which is very similar and used the same type of voice over and gave the same review. I'm sorry I'm being so harsh but it has to be said in order to stop more of these.

You could've saved 5 minutes, 30 seconds by filming the following.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

MAN looks in mirror and puts gun to head. He pulls the trigger. Blood splatters (or pools. Whatever your style is).

FADE OUT. THE END.

Story: - 1 million
Visuals/edit/sound: pretty good
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i hadn't seen any of your other reviews, so i was curious to see what you had to say about the other films in the fest. looks like mine is the only one you've reviewed...

so why is that? why choose my film, and why such a useless, mean-spirited review?

i expected bad/critical reviews, but this just seems out of place and kind of rude.

but thanks for watching, i guess.
 
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