Sunshine

Gauranga

Gauranga

Active member
Just looking for some feedback so I can become a better film maker. I haven't finished my movie poster yet but I'll post it as soon as I can.

sunshine

an io house ltd. production
a film by steve cameron

directed by steve cameron
written by steve & scott cameron

sunshine: jen kauffman
dead body: james dicamillo

editor: scott cameron
cinematographer: steve cameron
assistant director: james dicamillo
production design: scott cameron
visual effects: scott cameron
sound design: sean cameron
 
Matt Sconce's Review of Sunshine
SPOLIERS POSSIBLE!

Script
The story was a little thin for me here. I understood, the girl was taking her time enjoying the sun while leaving the horrible grizzly scene inside the house. I did like the alternating use of the light and dark.
Acting
I think your actress did a good job. She looked like a girl who is hiding something.
Cinematography
This is the strongest element of your film. Some of those outside sunlight scenes are breathtakingly beautiful!!!! I think you needed to light thinner scenes a bit to define what we were actually seeing when the movie jumped into the house. Great job in this area though!!!! Specifically the close ups were amazing! (The pitcher with the water especially!
Editing
I got a little tired of the jumps to the house. I just thought it got old quickly. I think the editing worked well for this film, except for the large amount of cuts with loud noises.
Overall Impressions
Interesting movie. I think you demonstrated that you can capture beautiful imagery. Now, just work on the pacing of the story and watch what awesome things happen! Good stuff!
 
msconce,

Thanks for the review! I think you are dead (pun intended) on about the script. I didn't get a chance to see the location before I shot (my brother secured it for me) and once I got there I realized I couldn't shoot the story I originally intended. So, I did what we too often find ourselves doing as filmmakers, changed it on the spot! The result is what you have seen.

Thank you for your kind words about the cinematography. I agree that it is the strength of the film. But I also realize that it cannot carry the story.
 
Ok great house man!! I want it!! With the girl if possible!! No really it's a great looking house!!! And the garden...oh....I could have some wild parties there....

Let's get down to it now....
It seems that a lot of movies in here have nice cinematography, you guys can really work your frames and lights and angles and all that....and I really enjoyed the scenes outside the house in this one....for a moment I thought they could be part of a nice TV AD about IKEA or something....really nice images!
The sound was nice, subtle but I dont agree with the song you chose to bring in the disturbing shots from the dead body. I know you tried to point out the mood difference between the 2 scenes but I'd rather have something that didnt remind me of Marilyn Manson (nothing wrong with him by the way).
The girl was really convincing and all but I didnt really catch the story til I read Matt's review.
 
I was awestruck when I got to that house. I was told that it was nice but I wasn't prepared for how nice it really was. You should have seen the inside!

Yeah, I was torn about using that piece for the bloody carnage bit, but it's my brothers band and he did the sound design for me. What could I do?

By the way, I shot the whole thing MOS and he added every sound in post. Personally, I think he did a great job.

By the way, Jenny is single.
 
Review | POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT! I watch the movies first time around strictly for enjoyment, second and third for review.
Hey Gauranga, just finished Sunshine. Haven't seen any of your work before but I'm going to go ahead and review your short. Script - I have no idea what this was about. I could only assume that the girl killed this guy and she doesn't live there, and now she's taken over the house and the job of watering the greenery. I really just have no idea what this is about and the script part scores very very low.

Direction - A lot of static shots going on here. The best shot, though, was from afar during her book reading scene. It was pleasant to look at and if she were actually talking to someone, I could see that being a nice bit of frame work.

Acting -She smelled a lot of flowers. I think she liked flowers. Your dead guy looked pretty dead to me.

Cine/Lighting - Lots of outside light and a red scene that looked kinda flat. The outside light: did you use bounce? It's clean.

Editing - Totally confusing. I get a girl walking through the garden or front yard/lawn whatever... and then cuts of a dead body. I dunno what's going on. Sorry.

Sound - Soundtrack was way off. Then again it might've fit, I just didn't know what was going on. I didn't like the hardcore screaming over the end of it. But I did make it to the end.

Special Effects/Art Direction/Wardrobe - Looked like the guys tummy was ripped out. Kinda gross. Hand was gone, couldn't see his real one there so that was cool. This could've helped a lot if I knew what was going on.

Scariest Moments - Her sniffing flowers. I dunno anyoen who actually stops to smell the roses, or other assortments of flowers. So, that's kinda creepy to me.

Overall consensus - Dunno what this was about. I'd like to see ya handle a complete narrative. I checked it out anyway and you still deserve whatever feedback I could give ya. Thanks for exhibiting!
 
Hello Gauranga,

You get the BEST LOCATION award!!! I loved the garden. You did some amazing cinematography in that garden. I loved the DOF with the flowers. Just beautiful. And that opening shot on the spider web. You've got a good grasp on framing and light.

The story, unfortunately, was not there for me. I understood (I believe) that she was relishing in the death of the guy. Why, I don't have a clue. If this is true, a few flashback moments would be nice to tie the two together.

Just as a thought, the quick flashes of "him" in the beginning, could have been visions of whatever he did that caused her to off him. Maybe he was having an affair. Maybe he was an abusive husband. The quick flashes could have set-up the final shot of him dead.

I really loved the juxtaposition of the two scenes. Very effective.

I would like to have had a stronger story.

The images, again, just beautiful!!!

Thanks for sharing your film!

Ted
 
Sorry that you haven't garnered more attention for this film in your thread. It's a beautifully shot film, wonderfully acted by your lovely lead. I also must comment on your beautifully designed banner. The banner was evocative of so many impressions, unlike many of the others, mine included. The opening shot with the web . . . simply breathtaking! Great job!
 
TheatreGuy said:
Hello Gauranga,

The story, unfortunately, was not there for me. I understood (I believe) that she was relishing in the death of the guy. Why, I don't have a clue. If this is true, a few flashback moments would be nice to tie the two together.

Just as a thought, the quick flashes of "him" in the beginning, could have been visions of whatever he did that caused her to off him. Maybe he was having an affair. Maybe he was an abusive husband. The quick flashes could have set-up the final shot of him dead.
Click to expand...

I've been thinking about this for a while now and I couldn't agree more. The one problem I've been having with this script is that a lot of people don't "get it" (You did by the way). I think they would have if I gave them just a tiny bit more backstory. Although it could be said that the whys are irrelevant, the fact that she did it is horrible enough. Leaving that part to the imagination could help those that get it play with the story a little in their minds.
 
Rez,

Thank you for your kind words. I just figure that "S" is pretty far back on the list so a lot of people haven't gotten to it yet. That plus I didn't really do a whole lot of marketing.
 
hey I can't give any advice but I do like the way you handled the camera , some very nice shots . The girl did a nice job of hidding her secrect . sweet & innocent kinda gal . The music , I thought fit the mood of the dead people .Well for me it did .

I think I may have cut out some of the Flower scenes and added something else to do with the killings but I guess you were focussing on the sweet gal.

That's it .

Ian
 
Hey Gauranga,

I watched your film Sunshine. As others have said, I think it was really a beautiful looking short, just lacking story. Given a good story, I think you'd rock the house.

Good luck!
 
This was probably about the fourth film I watched, I never got around to reviewing it. I am going to go watch it again sometime before Friday so I can vote and then I will review it a bit later.

I DO remember the beautiful cinematography, however I also remember the lack of storytelling. These have both been mentioned before.

Also, I love the banner!!!
 
Repeating alot of what has been said already. I liked the look and feel. The flashes were good and about timed right. Music was good for me but felt
that rock song was wrong for that particular scene.

Maybe look at something else they have, pass it around and ask some friends what they think and take the best fitting song.

The story was just not there for me. I've seen dead people before and can think of a million reasons why he was dead. Maybe you could of also shown the title of a book that somehow shows her state of mind. A tattoo. Bruises from abuse. The way she handles something. Signs of a struggle, broken picture frame or ripped picture. Pill jar. Liquor bottles. Something that helps explain who these people were or are.

The rest is there but I think at this point you just need to give me something more about the characters.Especially when there is no dialog. I think that would go a LONG way in improving your next flic.

Outside of that, good job and looking forward to your next film. -gordo.
 
dude you can obviously handle a camera it looked great wish there was more story. I wasn't a fan of the back and forth BUT it (imo) was executed nicely, quick shots at first slowly getting longer. I would love to see what you could do with a good story. One thing i look at when watching anything is Do I want to keep watching this..and you kept me watching...
 
Raptor365 said:
Maybe you could of also shown the title of a book that somehow shows her state of mind.
Click to expand...

The title of the book she was reading in the moss garden is "Lucky: A Memoir".

Here's an excerpt from the description: "...was raped as a college freshman, but the police said she was "lucky." At least she wasn't murdered and dismembered like the girl before her."
I didn't expect anyone to get the reference, but the book she was reading could give some idea as to what her state of mind was. Read into it enough and you have her story.

Also, if you really wanted to, you could make the connection between the spider in the opening credits and her. We could surmise that she just caught a fly in her web.

Either way, she was pleased about what she's done.

Just some thoughts on the story.
 
Nice job. I was pretty freaked on this one, because the deadguy looks a lot like me. I wonder if it's because he really looks like me, or if it was just because the shots were so quick. I'd be curious to know if others had the same feeling.

You had some great shots with a lot of nice camera moves. Sometimes the actress seemed a bit overexposed - one way you could have avoided that was by shooting on a more overcast day (even though the movie's called sunshine).

I also thought the sound worked well paired with the quick cuts. It had a very visceral effect.

The editing was pretty good, but there was one part that kind of stood out as being off - from the wide shot of the girl reading and you cut to the med shot. It seems pretty unmotivated and the timing seems a bit off. In situations like that, you should try to cut on an action - it makes the cut feel a lot smoother.

There wasn't much of a narrative so I'd probably classify this as an experimental film, and from that standpoint I think it was pretty effective.
 
Hello -

This looked pretty good, aside from your highlights blowing out.

But the whole thing moved just...oh...so...slow...ly...

There was nothing to draw me in as a viewer, so by the end, around 2:50 when something started to happen, I just didn't care, unfortunately. Cool, I suppose, if you are doing something "experimental (as luster suggests above), but just not an experiment I'd like to watch, as a result. You should put some more attention toward your narrative, or at least something to really catch the viewer's attention, and it will better serve the pretty images you are able to capture with your camera.
 
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