Stupidest dialogue ever?

D

David W. Richardson

Chapelgrove Films
We've all heard them. Lines in movies or TV shows that make no sense at all. List your favorites here!

One I've heard 3 times in the last week....

"There's only one road into or out of this town."

Somebody show me a town that only has ONE road into and out of it. That one road would have to END in the town. Otherwise, there'd be at least two ways in and out.

Who writes this stuff???
 
The road is probably painted and paved as a two-way. Or the road could be shaped like a U.
 
Too literal? The bad guy was telling his henchmen they don't need to chase the heroine because "there's only one road into or out of this town" -- meaning they know where she's going. That HAS to be taken literally. Otherwise, it means nothing.

All I'm saying is I have yet to ever see any town with a single road running into it that doesn't also run through the town and out the other side. Which means there are TWO ways into and out of town. And the truth is, nearly every town has way more than a single road running through it. Exceptions are rare.

Guess those rare exceptions are where all the bad guys are working their evil ways. :)
 
I live in a town with no road in or out.

To get out we take a ferry to one of 3 towns ... each of which only has one road out (and the same one in).

:laugh:

- Mikko
 
mikkowilson said:
I live in a town with no road in or out.

To get out we take a ferry to one of 3 towns ... each of which only has one road out (and the same one in).

:laugh:

- Mikko
Click to expand...

Mikko, can you tell me the names of those towns? I'd love to see the maps.

I'm not saying such towns don't or can't exist, only that they're rare. Yet I keep hearing that same dialogue in movies and shows.
 
"I love you"
"I love you"
"Please don't go"
"I have to"
"Must you"
"You know I do"

*smooch*

boo hoo

(put in serious music here)

"goodbye"

--- I want to throw up---
 
As much as I love Jim Carrey and "The Cable Guy", I always cringed at this line...

"And you can play Mortal Kombat with a friend in Vietnam!"

Being a gamer made that line even less funny.
 
I find that example of poorly written dialog LESS stupid than just poorly written dialog.

Dialog that says what we clearly already know or can see on the screen bugs me. Dialog that says EXACTLY what's on the character's mind is poor.

I'd worry far less about using expressions that may not make sense (we humans do it all the time) than writing dialog that doesn't come across as real and honest.
 
Snazzy Flapper said:
I find that example of poorly written dialog LESS stupid than just poorly written dialog.

Dialog that says what we clearly already know or can see on the screen bugs me. Dialog that says EXACTLY what's on the character's mind is poor.

I'd worry far less about using expressions that may not make sense (we humans do it all the time) than writing dialog that doesn't come across as real and honest.
Click to expand...

I agree. I hate when everyone is startled to see their long lost friend approaching from a distance, and one of them has to say "It's TED!"

I also hate inane stuff like when one character holds a gun out for another to take, but the person hesitates, so the guy says, "It's a gun, not a rattlesnake."

One of my biggest peeves from a 'real' Hollywood movies was in 'Flashdance', where Jennifer Beals character is sitting in Pennsylvania, telling a fellow Pennsylvanian that she is from 'Altoona, P-A'. Did we think there was another Altoona she may likely be from????
 
One line that is corny and that seems to be overused is the generic version of "Houston, we have a problem," which is "we have a situation here."

Some other favorite bad lines of dialogue:

The Rock -- "You breath, he breathes with you. You piss, he helps. Understood?"

-- "We are in the fight of our lives, against maybe the greatest battalion commander of the Vietnam war. I shi* you not."

03:01 - 03:30 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ6s1PFnzsE&feature=related

Congo -- "Stop eating my sesame cake!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSvU8a_hn2Q
 
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