Stretched - Betrayal Fest

Beautifully shot and lit. Thought the story was well written and the score was a good fit. Thought the actor's voiceover delivery was weak, but that the in scene acting was fair. This one is definitely one of our favorites.
 
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I thought this one was very well shot and had a great look to it. The cinematography was great. It was a little dialogue heavy for me personally but I also might have a mild form of add. Very nicely done, and was a great intimate character piece.
 
poetic!

i really dug some of the lines and liked how she went on about a snake and how he works that into his own sad and frustrated thoughts about their past.

congrats on your film !

i saw quickly that this is based on a short story - thanks for passing on the link to it - i am going to give that a look later.
 
Great job!

I loved the writing, the performances, the cinematography, and the score. Everything was so atmospheric. Your aesthetic reminded me of, "Let the Right One In".

The voiceover was ok. I think what it lacked was something on the technical side of things. The recording sounded too up front, too in your face. That could easily be fixed without having to rerecord anything. I think the performance of it was well done.

Excellent work.
 
i really dug some of the lines and liked how she went on about a snake and how he works that into his own sad and frustrated thoughts about their past.
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That was my favorite part of the short story. I knew we had to work it in somehow.
I loved the writing, the performances, the cinematography, and the score. Everything was so atmospheric. Your aesthetic reminded me of, "Let the Right One In".

The voiceover was ok. I think what it lacked was something on the technical side of things. The recording sounded too up front, too in your face. That could easily be fixed without having to rerecord anything. I think the performance of it was well done.
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Hadn't thought of "Let the Right One In." Awesome movie though, I'll gladly take that compliment.

I get what you are saying on the Voice Over. We might play with some reverb or something when the fest is over.

Thanks for the compliments everyone. It's finals week here so I haven't been able to comment on any of the other films, but I've made sure to watch and rate them in between exams.

Keep the criticism coming, we love to see how we can improve.
 
Powerful film! Looked great (snow was sweet!), sounded great...acting, cinematography, edit...all on mark.
One of my favs.
 
I have already commented, but I have rewatched this film several times and I am struck by how well you mixed VO & dialog. So many do one or the other very well done.
 
This short had great atmosphere. It evoked a mood, a feeling.

Your actors were very strong, and the writing was very interesting and compelling.

I like the moody look of the cinematography. That combined with the images of falling snow really gave the film a striking visual look.

That was a very interesting thing you did with the smoking, having it cut to him smoking in closeup when she smokes. Not entirely sure what it means, but clearly deliberate.

I thought the narration was very well used here. Really makes the film what it is.

I would have liked to have seen more of the girl's face. She seems to have a great look, but we never get to really see her. She could have turned away towards the light for a moment. By that same virtue I think you could have found a moment to move them to a different part of the room, or to change their physical relationship to each other.

To harp further on the girl (sorry, but she is the central focus of the film), when he says she has a great mouth, we see a side shot of her drinking, that doesn't really make her mouth look great. Just a straight on close up with a little more light on her lips would have probably been more effective.
 
A very cool and captivating piece. So simple, but with many layers.

I liked it a lot. Can't say I understood the overall point or story, as it was more of a 'slice of life' but it was still intriguing.
Music, lighting, and framing were very strong.

The acting had it's moments of being very natural, especially physically, but I felt something weird in the VO's. I think you could rerecord those and have a better piece. It felt like he was reading it into a mic, instead of 'hearing' the thought in his head. The best example I can think of is Jim Carrey's VO in Eternal Sunshine.. He has this whispered quality that makes you feel like your inside his head.

The only other nitpick is their voices in the beginning. It sounds like it was recorded in VO, but I think you would get a much better sense of space if it was recorded at the location and was as if this is a conversation that we're hearing but not seeing. The transition from ext sound with footsteps and ambiance to a hollowed out building that echos and has junk around could be really cool and add another layer.

Perhaps it's been mentioned, but I liked the juxtaposition of cutting from med of her about to smoke, to CU of him smoking. It caught me off guard, and at first I thought it was a mistake. I discovered that it was intentional, but didn't feel a payoff. What was this showing? My best guess in the moment was that he was crazy and was really talking to himself and she was imagined.

Some great stuff here, and I look forward to more from you. :)
 
that was very short and simple. your actors were really good.. the cinematography and lighting was spot on. i don't really have much to say about it but i really liked it.. the smoking thing i liked it just the overall atmosphere was good..
 
Tim Joy said:
Perhaps it's been mentioned, but I liked the juxtaposition of cutting from med of her about to smoke, to CU of him smoking. It caught me off guard, and at first I thought it was a mistake. I discovered that it was intentional, but didn't feel a payoff. What was this showing? My best guess in the moment was that he was crazy and was really talking to himself and she was imagined.
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It was basically an attempt through editing to foreshadow the slow mo sequence at the end. The passing of wine, the smoking of cigarettes, almost like passing time with out us actually watching- then they kiss. At least that was my intention through editing. Thanks for all the great comments and support!
 
I really didn't think they actually kissed, once I saw the detail from her. This is only the second movie I've seen in this fest to give me goosebumps. Loved it.
 
Another film that I thought was a finalist. I must not vote with the majority. I look forward to your next entry.
 
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