Somebody suggested I shoot for free...

Blade Borge

Blade Borge

Well-known member
So a pretty good friend of mine is getting married. His fiance suggested that I should film their wedding as a gift for them. Now is it just me or is this rude and presumptious? It's like, uhh do you know how much my services cost?

I guess it comes down to how much of friend this person is, but still, I need to be the one that would suggest it as free.

I don't know if I'm acting too stuck up and insulted right now, a lil objectivity please?
 
Yeah, it's kind of tacky for her to suggest that that be your gift. Maybe she should add your estimate to their registry so someone of means can buy it for them. I mean, I asked a friend to help design our invites, but even then I helped out with stuff and gave a fairly nice thank you gift.
 
I had a friend who wanted me to shoot his wedding, and although I am a cinematographer, I don't do weddings. I told him just that, and plus I thought I would be invited anyhow and hence would rather enjoy the wedding as a guest then be working. Just yesterday Facebook filled up with the wedding photos. I guess I insulted him by declining to shoot the wedding. Perhaps he forgot, or perhaps we weren't as close as I thought. In any case it was kinda lame.

My best advice is to NOT shoot the wedding. Especially if you know the couple and guests well. You'll feel like a waiter at a restaurant with all your friends at the tables. You can't stop working to hang, and it sucks. You'll have a much better time just enjoying the night as a guest and witnessing your close friend get married. If you go ahead and do it, it's going to feel just as much like work, except you'll be around friends and people who will try to talk to you all the time and you're gonna wanna put the camera down and enjoy the reception.

If they are strictly talking about the ceremony, then you're in a much better situation. As shooting it may take your mind on what is usually a really boring part of the wedding... and you may still enjoy a fun night of celebration.
 
You're speaking a lot of truth Ryan. I think I'll just suggest helping them find somebody who needs it for their portfolio.

@Luis, it's cool, they wouldn't know a DVX from a Viper.
 
People will always want you to shoot sh*t for free when they find out that you know what you're doing.
 
My brother just got married... Now he's my brother and i'm extremely close to him so I made the huge 30 minute slideshow of hundreds of life pictures and stuff - spent days on it - But I felt more than happy to do it as a gift. I was on the altar so I had one of my friends film the wedding using my dvx, but we're paying him like $100...

I think that's extremely rude to ask for that as a gift... even my sister-in-law's family wanted to pay me for everything.

Your situation sounds a lot different though - don't do it for free. That's low.
 
You lost me at "a pretty good friend of mine."

I want to show you the FLIP side of this coin. Filming this wedding may be the most IMPORTANT day of this couple's lives, apart from their first birthing of a child. Who the Hell cares if you feel like a waiter, feel like you're not part of the show...

The question is,

"Are you a pretty good friend to this person?"

Take out the money equation, that doesn't jive with friends. So tell me then, are you willing to let somebody else film this most AMAZING lifetime event, someone who may not be BETTER than you?

If it were my "pretty good friend" I would make sure that it was "me" filming this most important day of their life.

I once filmed a birthday party for a friend's daughter. They asked me to make a copy just for a vault to protect this moment in her daughter's life. They showed the film I made to just about every friend, family member and watched it over and over.

"I" will now forever be a part of that young girl's youth.

There is always a flip side to every coin. Just depends on what side you want to be.
 
Filming weddings is one of the suckiest things you will ever do with a camera, it is a total PITA, stressful and requires days and days of work after the whole event is over to edit it into something semi-watchable. I would decline in a heartbeat. A good friend wouldn't request a wedding gift that really costs between $2,000.00 and $5,000.00 unless you were all uber-rich.

Attend as a guest, leave the videotaping to the hired help.

Dan
 
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Dan, Abso-$%#!ing-lutely
For that specific reason and because where I am a family will spend more on some stupid balloons than on the video of their special day, I've blown filming people's weddings off permanently. If you're super streamline and efficient in editing then maybe but is there anything crappier than having to relive their special moments again and again and again while editing?
I say go guest, stay guest (don't even THINK about bringing anything other than a point-and-shoot still cam!!!)
 
puredrifting said:
Filming weddings is one of the suckiest things you will ever do with a camera, it is a total PITA, stressful and requires days and days of work after the whole event is over to edit it intop something semi-watchable. I would decline in a heartbeat. A good friend wouldn't request a wedding gift that really costs between $2,000.00 and $5,000.00 unless you were all uber-rich.

Attend as a guest, leave the videotaping to the hired help.

Dan
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Amen!
 
Charli said:
I want to show you the FLIP side of this coin.....

....are you willing to let somebody else film this most AMAZING lifetime event, someone who may not be BETTER than you?
Click to expand...

Now let's examine the FLIP side of THAT coin....
are you willing to take the chance that if something goes wrong and they are not happy with the final product that you will be reminded of that everytime you see these people for the rest of your life?

Just throwing it out there - it happens.

Clients would get upset, demand their money back... etc...
Friends will simply stop being friends...or simply make you feel guilty, which can be a lot worse.

I think Ryan brought up a lot of good points, and gave you some solid advice.

My two cents - do what you can to politely decline, but (if you want) you could help them find someone who can do the job in your place.
That way you're still helping out - but the full burden is not on you.
 
Check YOUR wedding gift list to see what they got you. If it was about $2500, you should do their wedding. Otherwise, I wouldn't do them that "favor"
 
I had someone ask me to do that also, WITH pay...but I said no simply because I wanted to enjoy my friends wedding, not worry about what the heck I need to go shoot. Ruins the day for me :/
 
I really dont' think the Bride was trying to offend you. She probably knows your passionate about your work and it's something you love to do is film. She probably figured you owned your own equipment and so no extra cost are there for rentals. I bet she thought that this would be fun for you and excited that she would want you to capture that moment.
BUT... I know that its a lot of work and in the real world it's expensive to produce a wedding video. But how would she have known that. I wouldn't take it as in insult just take it for what it is. How many of us knows a carpenter or someone that knows a trade and said, "Hey, can you build me a deck and I'll give you a beer."
 
HorseFilms said:
When it comes to weddings, I always tell people, "I'll shoot your next one."
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Well, there's about a 50% chance they might actually have another one someday, so in a few years, you're probably going to be loaded with free weddings to do. :grin:


My aunt recently suggested (perhaps jokingly) that I shoot my cousin's wedding. But I quickly said that I'd rather be able to enjoy the wedding, so I got out of that. In high school, however, I did shoot a couple of relatives weddings (horribly, I might add).
 
I agree with a lot of what Ryan is saying. I filmed my sisters wedding. It was the first time I did anything like that...film something that matters. I was TOTALLY like a waiter. Hell, I sat down to eat with my girlfriend and the rest of my family at the table but soon found myself gravitating towards the table for the "hired help". I was sitting with the Photographer, her assistant, and the D.J. because it just felt like we had something in common that day.

I hardly remember anything meaningful. I remember trying to make sure it wasn't too grainy, or that I didn't miss a joke or laugh or speech or funny dance or sound byte. I was constantly watching my audio levels, my tape situation, my girlfriends "fun" level, etc. etc. etc. It was a long, sweaty, hot, stressful day and I pretty much missed saying hi to some of my old friends and meeting a lot of new cool ones.

Having said all that, it turned out pretty good and I was pretty proud of it. They dug it and I got a lot of pats on the back for it so it was payment enough. But, I wouldn't do it for a friend or relative if I wanted to have any hope of enjoying myself.
 
puredrifting said:
leave the videotaping to the hired help.
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Hired help? What are we, busboys? :grin: Hey, it's demeaning work no doubt. But like my father said, there's no shame in making money.

I'm split on this whole "doing it for friends/family" situation. To give an opinion on the OP's query, I say this goes above and beyond the parameters of a wedding gift. (Let's say the average monetary gift for a couple at a wedding is $200-$300, am I off base?) So it's a bid rude, especially since they put the request on you. But they probably have no idea what goes into the process.

As for shooting something for family or friends....I'll do them from time to time. I look at it as practice. I'll tell you one thing, if it's pro-bono, don't expect DVDs anytime soon, though. Paying work always at the front of the line.

And another thing: If you agree to do it as a favor, you're working. Don't expect to be enjoying the reception cuz you're constantly going to be worried about missing shots. " long, sweaty, hot, stressful day" indeed.

EDIT: And another 'nother thing: I just remembered, I shot & edited a wedding ceremony for my wife's friend and never got so much as a thank you! WTF is up with that?
 
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