short film

That was cool. Did you do color correction for the begining outdoors walking scene just before he dragged his fingers on the fence? If so what did you do?

That guy has a funny mustache.
 
yeah i edited it in one night cause it was due the next day haha, i just used magic bullet's look suite, and for some i just used the color corrector, brought up the mids and crushed the blacks, i also brought down the saturation a bit. thanks for the reply
 
I'm no pro but i thought i'd give you my honest opinion. Don't get upset.

Sorry but it was pretty un-interesting. I felt like i've seen it before because of the whole 'teen angst/emo introspective, omg i'm gonna kill myself coz the hot girl doesn't like me, zach braff fluff'.

The camerawork is also pretty horrid. It bounces around alot and appears to be knocked once or twice, theres lots of out of focus shots which might be on purpose to get that documentray feel but in that case then the whole movie should be shot like that, and you also cross the line many times.

I know that music is subjective but when i heard coldplay at the end i wanted to vomit.

On the plus side the images looked pretty clean and curly mustache man was cool. I liked the focus pull down the fence. Well done for getting it together anyway.

I understand that you just ran this off quickly for school but you can do better.

Just my opinion.

Keep it going.
 
that wasnt bad, but i think you should put a little more work into your script next time (when you have more than a week). i noticed a few things that seemed like you could have put more effort to, mainly the teacher's dialogue. the line "do you have any siblings" that sparked the teachers story wasn't very convincing. it just seemed too general and not likely to trigger a whole schpeel like that. (pretty good acting on his part though). also, the whole story wasnt very interesting in my opinion...too cliché.

as for that and his missing backpack when he walked down the stairs, it wasnt bad. some good colors and shots. you can definitely pull off something better next time, just think your **** out some more.
 
yeah lots of continuity issues and stuff. i know it didnt turn out well but the story the teacher told about his brother is actually true,, that happened to him in real life
 
Actually I liked this short a lot....good job!!!! The only thing is that I have to agree with the others you probably could have wrote it a little better but in the end I still liked it......keep up the good work!!!
 
Hey ....don't listen to all those haters out there. I believe that
1. For your age
2. for the time
3. for the effort put into this short ...

I liked it. the only thing I didn't like was the hand held shots. Thats where you lose
a lot of credibilty is on the camera moves. Fix that and I think after a few more of these
shorts you'll be impressing EVERYBODY.

P.s. these haters....where's thier shorts for critic?
 
I thought it was really good. Great colours but one tip you should use a steady cam or set some tracks for a dolly on those walking shots because they did get a little shakey.
 
I don't believe you have to be a painter to be able to criticize paintings. But I am a painter, so I'm going to criticize this painting. Sometimes you need harsh criticism if you really want to improve. I can realte to not having better actors and have to do things at the last minute, especially for videos I made in hihg school, for school. The films I made in high school were good for school videos, but I can admit they're bad. They're very bad in fact.

The writing definitely needs a lot of work. Just keep doing it, and trust me, you'll get better. The sooner you get the bad ideas out of your system, the better. The problem with the execution is that I didn't believe any of it, especially the suicide attempt. It just looked like he was falling asleep in the tub. I also didn't believe the girl who appraoched him the next day would just outright talk about contemplating suicide over a break-up. The acting is bad, but I'm assuming they were classmates or friends or something. The voice-over seemed a bit tacked-on too, like it was used to cover your ass. I'm nto anti-voice-over. But when it comes to writing it, you shouldn't use it for exposition or to cover something, or straight up state a character's feelings.

The only thing I really, really didn't like about it, was that it seems to fall in with the whole zach braff, garden state, depression cliche. It's become a real trend in so-called "indy" films. But that's a personal taste. In high school, I was obsessed with trantino, and copied his films and his style often. I hope one day you'll find your own voice. Also, the movie looked nice. I think you've basically got the technical stuff down, which means you can focus more on writing, and how to really direct actors. I don't mean to discourage with this pseudo-review. Keep at it. There's a lot of potential there.
 
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