Seeking suggestions for changes to "Remember When"

Jason Ramsey

Jason Ramsey

Admin
Ok. So in a couple of weeks, I intend to revisit my first little short film that was part of DVXFest, LoveFest. (waiting for a certain actors beard to grow back out)

The main thing I will be doing is re-shooting the opening scene as it's not a match to the rest of the film, and the intentions behind the scene, I don't think played effectively to the majority of people who were not already familiar with the script.

So, the first area I'd love to here any and all suggestions/feedback on would be on how I might re-shoot this scene. I'll probably use a different location than the inside of my house that is more friendly to shooting as well.

Next, I plan to fix the dreaded reflections that pop up in the window in a couple of places. Either my NLE or my skillz or a combination of both have not allowed me to get satisfactory results in attempting to mask them out. So, I'm actually seeking aide from someone more capable than I to take on this task for me. Any takers?

I originally was going to reshoot some of the outdoor stuff as well and get some add'l coverage that I could use to replace those few seconds here and there. But, it is not feasible for me to try to shoot additional scenes and have them "match" and be consistent with what is already there. Too many things have changed between then and now. So...

...What I really would end up doing would be to re-shoot the whole entire film... Something I want to think about in the future, and shooting a slightly longer version, etc...

But, re-shooting the whole thing becomes a new film, and I just want to work on making the film that I have already made as best I can by making the changes mentioned above before moving on to another project.

Anyways... look forward to some feedback on this.

Thanks.

Oh, if you haven't watched it, it can be downloaded here:
www.ramjetfilms.com/LoveFest/RememberWhen.mov

Later,
Jason
 
First off Jason, I want to say that this was a great film the first time I saw it, and it still is after watching it again.

If you want my honest input though, I feel that the weakest parts are the opening CU shot on Andrew in and out of focus, and the very very end. I don't really like how it is summed up with text. Although, I understand that time is a factor with these festivals, and it may have been tough to fit more into 6min.

I don't think those parts take away from the film, I just think if they were done differently they would strengthen the piece.
 
I just watched this for the first time...and I thought you did a great job all around. Excellent film.

I know how easy it is to pick apart your own work, even when you think it's finally done...it's not done. Having produced many audio recordings over the years, I've seen this kind of thing a million times. It's hard, but I think you just have to pick a time and say "it's done" and put it out there, otherwise it will make you crazy. After all, it took 2nd place! Use what you learned from the experience and apply it to your next project.

Again, having just watched this for the first time, the only thing that caught my eye were the reflections you talk about (I think I can see the boom). That's all I'd think about fixing.

I can't agree with Ninja... I really liked the begining and I think it really captured what I could imagine is the "cloudy", "confused" feeling of Alzheimer's.

I loved it.
 
Brilliant!!! if your film were a woman you ought to marry it (kidding :P)

but seriously it's amazing... I wish i could produce something on that level.

And yeah i know what people are talking about... a work may never feel finished but youhave to let it go even if it has some minor errors. you can't fix everything...
 
seriously it was amazing I am a pretentious nob when it comes to other peoples films, but this blew me away. I would love to show this at the film festival I am hosting if you wouldnt mind sending me a copy or giving me permission to burn a copy and show it at the festival.

If I were to pick it apart, it would be the beginning with the cg looking blur and the end with the text, this story is too powerful to end with a with words, as ninja turtle said. I didn't notice anything you mentioned above with reflections etc. The charecters and story were much to engaging to care.

Seriously though A++++
you have inspired me to write.

Thanks
 
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I understand what Zaza said, I do get the "confused" feeling in the shot. It explains his situation and for that, I think it works.

But I still think the text at the end is odd.
I would rather like to see the story end without text and have the ending left open, or visually have that part explained. I feel like you are cutting the story short by using text that's all.

Hope this helps
 
Im just going to repeat my LoveFest comments, just start the short out with them on the porch! I played it this way for my wife and it really works as a tight and awesome short.
 
the first thing I would do, honestly, is remove or replace that song. it is beautiful but placed here it creates an emotional manipulation that betrays the honesty in the performances. about as subtle as getting hit with a frying pan. the lead actor is guilty of overselling it a bit, i think. just a bit.
 
i disagree about the comments with the text. i think that ending on that silent note with the music playing makes it more powerful. what is written is important, and if you were to have someone speak it then it would begin to sound like a bad life insurance commercial or PSA. i personally liked the text

oh and on a side note...i really enjoyed this and the first time i watched it i didnt see anything wrong with it.
 
Great work!

I think it could go a couple different directions-

First off, I didn't notice any reflections, I wouldn't bother fixing them. The outside scene is great. Emotions, acting, editing, everything. I was drawn into it.

I aggree that you should start the whole thing at the porch scene. All you need are those slick opening credits with the Alzimers bottle. It says it all.

The song got stuck in my head after watching it once. I thought the juxtaposition of the emotional quality of the song, and the emotional scene outside would be great. It hits you like a brick.

I wanted to know what's up with the kid. Dead?

Like i said, there's a lot of ways you could go here, it would help to know what you want to say. Is it something about the drugs that don't work? That alziemers is devastating, especially when young people get it? Maybe the dad got it because he couldn't handle the death of a child?


You are obviously very talented, and I would suggest cutting that phone scene and moving on to a new project where you will explore new territory.

It's great.
I just got this quote in my email yesterday, it says ,...that perfectionism is the enemy of creation.
 
I was very impressed. I'd love to know how you got the movie to be so large on the screen and download so fast. It streamed after a minute and it never stopped. The image was not only large but sharp! I'd really appreciate it if you'd tell me what are the steps to achieve this kind of quality on the Internet.

About the movie... I'm a feature film maker, so generally I don't like short films. I don't like the philosophy of making short films, although I know many people make them to gain recognition and move on to bigger projects. There are people who are simply looking for some big producer or even studio that will discover them and they then can move on to the BIG TIME.

This movie is not even a short film, it's a couple of scenes spliced together. The acting is a bit self-conscious, but very touching. The story is sad, especially with two lovely people like these. I don't even know why anybody would make a movie about this kind of subject, but that's just personal taste in movies.

What I really want to say is that if you can shoot this well and you can direct this well, why in hell aren't you making theatrical feature films in 35mm? Please forgive me for my taking this much liberty to tell you this.

My suggestion, don't touch anything. Even if these two scenes were perfect, who cares? Make a big movie. Leave this practice to people who are in their teens just getting used to shooting with a digital camera. You're ready for the BIG TIME :-)

Honestly, congratulations, you've made my day.
 
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