I have wanted to join this group for a long time and I finally decided to get off my butt and put together a submission for Lovefest. I am almost finished it, thanks in large part to my buddy Dudley who is working on his submission Wish. I am really looking forward to seeing all of the submissions in the coming weeks. Good luck to everyone.
Second Chance - by Darrell Ah Yong
- Thread starter insomnia
- Start date
Luis Caffesse
Admin
Very cool.
Welcome to the club.
:thumbsup:
Welcome to the club.
:thumbsup:
Marlon Ladd
Veteran
Yep, good luck.
artofsuntzu
Active member
Congratulations on completing your edit. Good luck, dude.
(thought of reshooting any shots with the Hawaiian locations available to you now?)
(thought of reshooting any shots with the Hawaiian locations available to you now?)
Ted Arabian
Member with Ladder
Good for you! Best of luck on your film.
NOW FILL UP THOSE BLANK RESERVED POSTS!!! :grin:
NOW FILL UP THOSE BLANK RESERVED POSTS!!! :grin:
mentatDUKE
Veteran
Welcome and good luck.
Zak Forsman
Major Contributor
care to share some screenshots?
I am going to try and post some screenshots over the next day or so. I was having so much trouble doing the compression I wasn't even sure if I was going to be able to make it on time. I just uploaded my short so hopefully there is not going to be any problems with it. From looking at the threads it seems like alot of us had similar problems. Shots will be coming - again sorry for the delay.
Anthony Pierce
Active member
Wish you the best.
Ted Arabian
Member with Ladder
Hey Insomnia.... checked out your film!
I loved your story idea and the twist involved. It is always nice to see someone's life get turned around.
However, I have some comments that may not be so pleasant to hear. Hopefully you made and entered this film with the expectation of receiving feedback and growing as a filmmaker.
First of all, your location is way too clean for a homeless man. That wall is pristine! I wish that my walls were that clean. So much more could have been done for set dressing. I just did not feel like the guy was making a home there.
Secondly, the actors (particularly the guy), need to have some serious acting chops with a piece like this. Seriously... you must realize when you attempt a story like this that you are going to need some actors who can command the screen!
Finally, the black and white footage didn't work for me. Maybe if the blacks were crushed or something. It was just to stark for me.
I feel that there was a lot of work put into this film and I am sorry that (for me) it didn't quite deliver.
There were some nice things going on here. The shadow of the woman on the wall over the guy. I liked that, though I did want a cut to her face sooner. The pendant shot. Nice. The shot of the friend coming into frame.... Again, nice frame.
A real challenging film you attempted. Good for you!
I look forward to seeing what you do next time.
Best,
Ted
I loved your story idea and the twist involved. It is always nice to see someone's life get turned around.
However, I have some comments that may not be so pleasant to hear. Hopefully you made and entered this film with the expectation of receiving feedback and growing as a filmmaker.
First of all, your location is way too clean for a homeless man. That wall is pristine! I wish that my walls were that clean. So much more could have been done for set dressing. I just did not feel like the guy was making a home there.
Secondly, the actors (particularly the guy), need to have some serious acting chops with a piece like this. Seriously... you must realize when you attempt a story like this that you are going to need some actors who can command the screen!
Finally, the black and white footage didn't work for me. Maybe if the blacks were crushed or something. It was just to stark for me.
I feel that there was a lot of work put into this film and I am sorry that (for me) it didn't quite deliver.
There were some nice things going on here. The shadow of the woman on the wall over the guy. I liked that, though I did want a cut to her face sooner. The pendant shot. Nice. The shot of the friend coming into frame.... Again, nice frame.
A real challenging film you attempted. Good for you!
I look forward to seeing what you do next time.
Best,
Ted
Hi Ted - thanks for the feedback. Yes I was hoping to receive feedback - only way to get better. I agree with all of your production comments and then some - I also thought my audio really needed some work as well. I put this short togeather really fast and at the last minute as I was only in town (Richmond) for 2 weeks over Christmas. I met the guy a couple of days before the shoot. I saw a picture of the woman, but did not meet with her until the day of the actual shoot. As for the location - I found it a few days before the shoot and there was snow on the ground on that day. Actually I am amazed that it turned out at all. All the filming was done in one day from 10:00 in the morning to about 5:00 at night. Actually I had a great time with all of my production problems - just made it seem more real for my first short. Yeah next time I am going to have to do a lot more planning up front to really get what I am looking for. Interesting comment on the black and white - I will have to look at trying that next time. Looking forward to seeing your as well.
Thanks,
Darrell
Thanks,
Darrell
Michael Anthony Horrigan
More Cowbell Pictures
I'll be watching soon and posting feedback as well....
Michael Anthony Horrigan
More Cowbell Pictures
Alright....
To be honest... the acting hurt this one. The female lead was not too bad and the story idea was very good. If you had some better acting and changed up your shots a bit... this could have been very good. More shots... more angles.
The music also really hurt this one.
Keep going though... I see a lot of potential here.
To be honest... the acting hurt this one. The female lead was not too bad and the story idea was very good. If you had some better acting and changed up your shots a bit... this could have been very good. More shots... more angles.
The music also really hurt this one.
Keep going though... I see a lot of potential here.
Gohanto
Veteran
Hey, someone else used a homeless man for the main character as well? Cool.
I liked the idea you had here, but it was a little cliche and there wasn't anything really unique about it. A shot or two was nice, but I think you really could've done more. Find locations that really sell the grimy location of the homeless. Granted, that also leads to seeing real homeless people while your shooting as happened on my shoot, but it also meant they were authentic locations.
Acting was very difficult here and sadly the actors cast weren't quite up to where they needed to be. There were several nice shots though and you have a good grasp of the basics. Look forward to seeing what you do in the future.
I liked the idea you had here, but it was a little cliche and there wasn't anything really unique about it. A shot or two was nice, but I think you really could've done more. Find locations that really sell the grimy location of the homeless. Granted, that also leads to seeing real homeless people while your shooting as happened on my shoot, but it also meant they were authentic locations.
Acting was very difficult here and sadly the actors cast weren't quite up to where they needed to be. There were several nice shots though and you have a good grasp of the basics. Look forward to seeing what you do in the future.
Chris Messineo
Veteran
Congratulations on completing your first DVXuser Fest entry.
This story is nice, but I think it's a little too on the nose. Your actors wear all their emotions on the outside. I think if you start to play with subtext a little bit, you'll find your stories will have a lot more depth and emotion.
This story is nice, but I think it's a little too on the nose. Your actors wear all their emotions on the outside. I think if you start to play with subtext a little bit, you'll find your stories will have a lot more depth and emotion.