ScriptFest XIV: HolidayFest : Chris Keaton's SATURNALIA

I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description 'hard-core pornography' and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the motion picture involved in this case is not that.
—Justice Potter Stewart

Reverse logic dictates that if you're unsure then you don't know it; and if you don't know it, it ain't.

On the other hand if you plan to write six pages but find it's all over in two, it might be... :happy:
 
i vote porno. But can you include the line that, "Santa only comes once a year" and still be a proper porno? The great question of our age.
 
I wonder if Chis will really go by the mantra of When In Rome. I can kind of imagine a Roman orgy...I was thinking about it too, but I drew blanks on what/how to write it so I brainstormed and started to write something else.
 
Spoilers

i looked up the title after this as I assumed it meant something. I suppose had I known it would have given a part if he story away which is always a risk. Don't recall much Christmas reference but maybe the party alone is adequate.

story wise I could see your porno potential and I did wonder where it was going. At the end I wasn't sure whether it was a good twist, as i wasnt expecting it, or too much out of the blue. No foreshadowing. Indeed, there seemed to be little connection between signing up to a swingers party and turning around the fortunes of his business. However, these are not difficult to fix.

suggestions?

Foreshadow his interest In the occult/rituals/ superstition
link her acceptance to making him feel better, rather than turn the business around
Possibly he's given something in return afterwards - a reward, or just as he thinks his luck will change...
....they do him as well. The irony....but also the partner is then given something. Sold them out.

Just thoughts
 
You got my review. I'd will say, this was my kinda Holiday party.
When's the next one? I have someone I like to invite....
 
Hey Chris,

That was an interesting story.
He sacrifices his wife.
I thought he didn't want to but he did. And the wife sounds too eager to participate in the fun - sounds like you want us to cheer when she dies. Or maybe that's why he wants her dead?
I didn't understand that part - I want to know if he did it for business or if he wanted her dead. And if he wanted her dead I want to know why - you kind of gave a little glimpse so I'm thinking it must be the second.

This Holiday fest is way to gory for me:)
 
Saturnalia was that it? write more please maybe bring her back to life lol it was a great read but to fast:(
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top