Scene from a feature I am working on

Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

agree with jim, stay with your master shot a bit more, the bouncing back and forth brings too much attention to itself

other than that its better than the first cut
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on


Hello Jim,

Thanks for the comments. Unfortunately, we don't have coverage on a good two shot from the center of the room perspective. I'll certainly consider staying with each character a little longer. As for your second comment, I really wish we had a dolly shot following the character of "Daya" across the room to where she sits down on “Alice’s” bed. I did try it as you suggested, but I wasn't certain that it would be clear that "Daya" had moved to the other side. Certainly a two shot would have been perfect to establish their new positions, but the only thing I have to work with is a master shot (the one used in the beginning) from the far side of "Alice's" bed across the room. In my first pass, I used this shot as part of the later sequence, but as this violated the 180 degree rule, I decided to go with the close up coverage. I can see where better story boards prior to shooting would have been helpful to be certain that we had all the coverage we needed, but all we worked from was the director’s shooting notes and with the limited hours that you can work with minors, we didn't shoot every possible combination.

Thanks again for the comments; it is great to get other's perspective when working on a subjective task like editing.
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

well I'm no expert. Heck, I havent even bought my DVX100 yet (next month! xmas is coming!) but I can tell you that as a regular joe (ie. not a director standpoint), I thought your second edit was way better than the first. The only thing missing in my opinion is somekind of 'bonding' shot toward the end. As both girls are now close to each other, it still doesnt feel that way with split edits. There is some link missing to truly believe they are sitting on the same bed. Now knowing that it was shot on a set, it's probably impossible to have a take with both actresses on screen from this POV but anyway, it was just my 2cents worth of late night commenting.

oh, and that empty shot before the red girl comes over feels rather, err, empty... :)

but dont take this as negative remarks, it's just first impressions after viewing your nice post. Someday I'll get there too :)
 
IRe: Scene from a feature I am working on

IRe: Scene from a feature I am working on

This is a much better edit.  I'm still not 100% jiving with it so I'll give you my 2 cents:

The very first SPLIT EDIT I would not have.  I would wait for girl in RED to talk and make the orignal cut as you had it.  I think this can give the audience time to establish the scene in their heads.

When the other girl says the line "Interpetive Dance" (sp?) I feel this SPLIT EDIT doesnt work.  So, believe it or not I would do a traditional cut as before.

I feel the next SPLIT EDIT is nice. "Meet with the counselor in the morning..."

When the girl says "Affect the rest of my life..." I feel it would have more emotional impact if you hold on her through this line and then cut at the end of this line "....right?"

THE CHILL OUT Split Edit is great; perfect.

I played a little with it.  The PART where we all feel there is a '180 Rule Violation', there is a place where you can cut it and make it shorter (quicker). Take out the AUDIO and VIDEO at the end of "It is so not going to help..." and quicken the cut up by coming in JUST AT THE MOMENT the girl in RED comes into Frame and is saying "Think about it logically"

You can hide the BENT RULE by covering it up.

I have it at:

END CUT at 48.949

START at 48.982

And cut everything inbetween.

I think you have to find a balance on the SPLIT EDITS.  You have many that kick ass and a few that somehow isnt working.

Anyway, IMHO

:)
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

You can also stay one character longer and just let the other one talk.  For example there is a scene that says more about the emotion of the scene than staying on the two main characters.  It happens in Arlington Road.  Jeff Bridges and his brother are at dinner.  His brother asks him how he's coping with his wife's death since its been over a year.  Jeff Bridges line is something like "I'm doing okay."  But the director or editor goes to a shot of his new girlfriend digging in the ice box and her look says more than anything that he's not doing okay.

What I'm trying to say is sometimes you don't always have to cut to the other character right away.
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

The part where the girl in red rolls off the bed right before it shows the wall and she says "no; like, think about it logically"; I think it cuts prematurely and takes a tad too long for her to re-enter the scene and seems like it kinda interrupts the flow of the scene. Overall I do think it is a whole lot better. I agree w/ John on the split edits (especially the "chill out" one.). Overall, it's alot better than I could have done! keep it up. tim.
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

Good notes John and khmuse, keep it up!  Keep working at it.  I am excited for you.

I too am shooting a story about teenagers and the lives they lead.  So your post helps me a lot.  If you would like to keep this thread going with other posts and productions questions and notes for future productions (i.e. what not to do or to be careful for) and such, I'll be on board too!

Good luck with everything.  Cheers, mate.

and MUSIC will help, if you want to use it that is.

A good comprehesnive book about film making that's enjoyable to read and informative: Sidney Lumet's Film Making.

It's a good book. Browse through it for anecdotes, inspiration, question....
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

enterdcable, if you were a Seinfeld character, you would be known as the Double Poster :D
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

here is what an average thug response may be if he were to actually see this bit.

"Uh, it looks coo dawg. Like, the only part dat looked kinda weird is when dare was that shot of da wall and no one was dare, then that home girl like showed up. It's coo doe."

That was an actually quote by the way from a buddy of mine whom I showed it too. I do agree with that wall part, you could of cut to a wide or something. It's nice, and I have no other complaints.
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

Well, with articulate praise like that of Bluespider's buddy, I feel really lucky! Seriously, I really want to thank everyone who provided their input on the evolution of this scene. I really appreciate everyone's time and thoughts. What I have really come to discover is that this is a scene where I wish we had a more coverage, especially a two shot from the perspective of the center of the dorm room. Here is a link to the latest installment in this series of edits. Again, feedback is more than welcome. I am considering posting another scene, but I feel a little guilty as everyone has been very generous with their time and efforts.

http://www.museelectronics.com/scene_19c.wmv

Thanks again to everyone on this user group.
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

First of all; dont sweat the 'time' and dont feel 'guilty'. We live for this stuff and always want to help and want help in return!

This newer edit is even better than the last. It keeps getting tighter and tighter the more its tweaked.

I'd like to see a SPLIT EDIT on "Chill out"

I'd like to see a quicker cut on the RED GIRL entering frame. If you could split it to lietrally the moment bfore she enters the frame.

IMHO as always.

This is looking great, we love helping and thanks for sharing!
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

Hello John,

As always, thanks for the comments.

I am not certain that I follow your comment on the split edit on "Chill out". Currently, the scene cuts to the character "Alice" just before the character "Daya" says "Chill out". Are you talking about earlier in this portion of the dialogue?

When the character "Daya" enters the frame after walking across the room, there are 3 frames before she enters (her hair actually enters the frame first). I can certainly trim these 3 frames out. Good call!

Thanks again!
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

John Hudson is one of the most giving guys in terms of his time and encouragement. He really does the DVX community proud.
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

I'm sorry.  The Chill Out is perfect.  Leave it alone!

I wouldnt cut it down to the hair folicle per se. Maybe just 2 frames?

:P
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

[quote author=John Hudson link=board=Clips;num=1101168046;start=30#36 date=11/24/04 at 11:46:02]I wouldnt cut it down to the hair folicle per se.  Maybe just 2 frames?

:P  [/quote]

that's why they call him "The Butcher". Because of his many fine cuts. ;D :P
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

Wow, what a difference a few changes make. It really looks much better. There are still one or two too many cuts for me, but a)that's just my taste, and b) Now I'm looking for them. Besides, I realize you are working with what you have, and really, it looks good.

John might be right about a frame or 2 when RED GIRL enters, but it seems fine the way it is to me. Not disorienting in the way it was before, even though you don't see her start to get up.

Good direction as well, BTW. The pacing of the dialogue is spot on. IT feels very natural.
 
Re: Scene from a feature I am working on

Thanks Jim,

I am very happy with the changes and feel that this scene is much improved. I can't take any credit for the direction myself, other than hiring the director (we have worked with him in the past).

I am going to fine tune the section where "Daya" (the girl in Red) enters the frame. I myself don't mind an empty frame or two, but if enough people agree that it is a problem then I'll certainly acquiesce to the general consensus.

My sincere thanks to everyone who has commented and shared on the refinement of this scene, it has really helped. Trying to do this in isolation is difficult as I don’t know how to bring a fresh perspective without enlisting others in the process.

I may yet post another scene that I am struggling with and see what happens.
 
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