Rought cut of an AD I just shot

Any suggestions for the music to help compensate for the dialogue? I've had a hard time finding good sources for music. The script is what they wanted to use :-(

Thanks
Alan
 
hard lesson to learn....
i've never once had a client write a good script!
they're not video producers or script writers, so why should they be able to write and act?
you can try a faster pace with more energetic music (was there any music at all?), but that droning monotone voice reciting her lines is still going to pull it down. i couldn't sit through it all.
that white lower 3rd/title needs a shadow.
and what did the sled dogs have to do with the business???
imo, a 30-second ad/promo should have a lot more energy and move pretty quickly.
 
BTW the sled dogs/girl have to do with it being more local to the area. She is a local musher.

Any good sources for music that you can recommend
 
sled dogs have nothing, repeat, nothing to do with the story at hand and therefore only detracts from the video. its confusing. just use her VO. you don't need to show her at all.

one stock music site: http://audiojungle.net/category/music
will try to find the better one i like, can't remember it right now.
 
Two places I like for stock music with good prices ($~30/ea I think):

http://shockwave-sound.com
http://stockmusic.net

I use them all the time. If you do indeed drop the sled dogs from the beginning (which look fantastic, btw, but I agree doesn't mean you need to keep them) then consider recording the vo again with a little more energy.

My only real observation was regarding your camera movement - I felt it was a little fast and found myself wanting to look at things with more detail but sensed I was being rushed along. You can't really change that now but leaving the shots up a little longer would help.

I know you already know exactly what's in all these shots but watch it again from the eyes of someone who's never seen it and see what you think. Examples:
0:08 - wanted to see the man's face but it was gone too soon
0:16 - there's a lot in this shot and by the point I'd looked at the dad/boy, then the ultrasound monitor, the woman's face already faded away
For the three shots following this, it seemed that just before I finished processing what they were doing, the shots faded away.

Probably a lot of this has to do with the fact that I'm super tired right now so obviously my processing is slowed down. But my first pass watching it I was left with a sense of "oh... I think I get what that was about" and "why is everything panning so quickly". So take that for whatever it's worth, lol ;)

A final thought: my advertisers always complain if I wait until the last few seconds to reveal their phone number. And they're probably right, I always end up adding it around the 15-20 second mark now to give viewers the chance to jot it down.

Good luck :). Have you shown your client yet? What do they think?
 
The Ad Agency likes it - I don't really like it myself yet, I really do appreciate the feedback guys, I to feel it is rushed and am thinking of cutting the number of shots down so the ones that I do show can be up longer. As far as the dogs go - they have to stay, I may do a cut without them to show them how much better it could be but the company sponsors that particular musher and wanted her to be in the ad.
 
I like it better. What do you think?

(minor note: the first three shots of the same patient seem redundant, is there anything else worth putting in place of the second and/or third shots? Also typically you would go from wide shot to closeup to establish context, and I liked it better before with the wide shot before the closeup)

Nice job :)
 
i still think you should've cut the sledding intro.
there's a saying in the editing world, 'you should be ready to kill your babies'.
for a 30-second piece you can't afford the time to introduce the VO talent and take away precious storytelling seconds!
too many sliding shots too. use sparingly, otherwise you lose the impact.
but keep up the hard work and you'll have your 30-second promo concept/template refined to perfection in no time! =)
 
I agree, but the dogs are more than babies, the girl and the dogs are the local connection without them it is just some other big medical building owned by some out siders which it isn't - and they have to stay, I would generally say they should go but in this case they are here to stay. I will try a cut without so many sliders, you have a great point :-D

Thanks Again
 
while i understand your motivation, it is not appropriate for this type of video.
if it really was important to insert some personal story about the sledding girl and try to connect that to the business, then you'd need more than 30 seconds and have to find ways to bring her into the rest of the story.
but, what i see, is mostly an ad for a business. with nothing to do with this random sled dog person at all. your logic isn't completely off, you just need to take the story/concept further to be able to make it work. otherwise, you should kill your baby (your attachment to including this segment) and free the ad to just be an ad and consequently to be a better ad. trying to do too much or include every possibility more often than not only weakens your story. you may think it makes sense to try to convey some local connection, but i'm telling you it simply doesn't work in this piece.
if this sled girl was also an employee....or customer....and we saw her again in the rest of the ad somewhere and not out in the snow, then it would work a lot better.
otherwise, your ad IS just a big medical building. there's no snow there. no Canadian wilderness anywhere in that story. no sled dogs. it makes absolutely no sense with the rest of the video. its like two different videos mashed together.
excuse my no-holds-barred honesty, but content is king for a reason! =)
 
No need to excuse the honesty, your kind of feedback is what I look for Averan, to often people try to be nice and say oh that looks good when indeed things should be cut or changed - so to you sir/miss I say thank you! I am actually going to be putting together an extended version for the web so I will see what I can do. I will upload a new cut as soon as I get a chance. Again Thank you for the feedback
 
cool, np.
i wish more people would comment on my stuff!
i love learning from other people's experience which is why i try to contribute when i can.
'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top