Michael_Petro
Veteran
The dogs name Nugget crack me up for some reason... I liked it..
RobertE presents "Hellebore"
- Thread starter Robert Eldon
- Start date
Michael_Petro
Veteran
well id be interested in thatRobertE said:
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
Lingothree said:
Thank you for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I actually had to cut quite a bit to still have a complete story in 6 minutes. And I agree with everything you said.
Thank you.
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
Michael_Petro said:
Ha! After you see the movie, you kind of get the jist...
That poor little dog got eaten... like a chicken nugget!
Geoff_R
Veteran
Kudos on the casting, cinematography and vfx. I have no idea how you did some of those plant vfx but they work well and they're subtle; always best.
You have a good story which I feel derives from dialouge more than structure. (I'm obsessed with structure/plot points) Let's take your the dialouge from about 3 mins in to the 5 min mark in TC; you've got your characters at two locations throughout that time (the fence and then at the end, the woods), I would keep the same general dialouge but expand that into three or four locations; maybe have them go into the woods earlier and then keep talking while they are moving deeper into the forest. I think this would make your story move faster and give ground for more tension and a growing sense of unease since we as the audience already know whats in that forest. I hope you don't take any of this in the wrong light; I like this film a lot, I'm just throwing 'what I hope' is some good advice.
You have a good story which I feel derives from dialouge more than structure. (I'm obsessed with structure/plot points) Let's take your the dialouge from about 3 mins in to the 5 min mark in TC; you've got your characters at two locations throughout that time (the fence and then at the end, the woods), I would keep the same general dialouge but expand that into three or four locations; maybe have them go into the woods earlier and then keep talking while they are moving deeper into the forest. I think this would make your story move faster and give ground for more tension and a growing sense of unease since we as the audience already know whats in that forest. I hope you don't take any of this in the wrong light; I like this film a lot, I'm just throwing 'what I hope' is some good advice.
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
Geoff_R said:
Geoff,
I'd like all of the feedback I can get and not taking any of it 'in the wrong light'. I can really appreciate what you've said about the dialouge. I actually shot a lot more than you got to see and you've got a good sense of structure. I had to cut out some action and dialouge after the agent and scientist get up from checking out 'the feral material' until the 'agent' enters 'the grove'. There is about 3 minutes of exactly what you mentioned that I cut out. Great comments. Thank you.
VersuS
Veteran
I dont know but I really enjoyed this one....I liked the fact you did 2 different scenes at the beginning, completeley different sets/locations/characters, just to build up the mayhem for later on...
Nice pool by the way...
So yeah nice beginning, caught my attention and interest. Then you had the FBI and all and you laid it all down ok...but the FBI dude was losing his british accent from time to time and that cracked me up a bit....
I LOVED THE MOVING TREE scene, i had to rewind and watch again to make sure i was paying enough attention....and I was...and you aced that!
THe end though moves fast and without any specific meaning...you should have had the gunshots coz the tree (mind if i call it like that?) moves towards your character and he is frozen...makes me think that you had decided not to shoot, not to use muzzles or sound (even though i think i heard a very low sound of a gunshot there)......
Anyway, minor changes here and there and this would have been great!!! Overall one of the most entertaining coz it was different from the rest.
Nice pool by the way...
So yeah nice beginning, caught my attention and interest. Then you had the FBI and all and you laid it all down ok...but the FBI dude was losing his british accent from time to time and that cracked me up a bit....
I LOVED THE MOVING TREE scene, i had to rewind and watch again to make sure i was paying enough attention....and I was...and you aced that!
THe end though moves fast and without any specific meaning...you should have had the gunshots coz the tree (mind if i call it like that?) moves towards your character and he is frozen...makes me think that you had decided not to shoot, not to use muzzles or sound (even though i think i heard a very low sound of a gunshot there)......
Anyway, minor changes here and there and this would have been great!!! Overall one of the most entertaining coz it was different from the rest.
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
VersuS said:
Versus,
Thank you for the great feedback! I'm glad you caught 'the moving tree' by the way. I've noticed that the compressed version that you are watching is a lot darker than the movie is meant to be.
And the guy with the british accent, really does have a british accent. He'll get a kick out of what you said! He's originally from Great Britian. Maybe the american english is rubbing off on him.
There is a big gap from where the scientist and agent are entering the woods and the final 'grove' scene. I had to cut about 3 minutes to make the movie fit the 6 minute limit.
And there is a gun shot at the end. The agent does get 1 shot off. I'll definitely pump up that volume in the "Director's Cut".
Thanks so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it.
Review | POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT! I watch the movies first time around strictly for enjoyment, second and third for review.
Another short that I had no idea about before watching. Again, I save all my judgement for my own viewing, avoiding reviews before I get to them. I have to say, you really had something going here. Then it fell apart at 5:30. Let me go into detail.
Script - This wasn't written for six minutes. At first I thought that it could've been, even after the dog scene and the intro to the movie. At the second death scene with characters that I realized would no longer be shown again, it hit me that I was going to get another short without an ending. Your dialogue can be sweetened on this one, or it could've been delivery. It sounded like Horror-Movie dialogue to me, just something was off. Just a script too long for this competition. But, not bad for a horror story.
Direction - Nice smooth movements. Some of the dolly tracking seemed a little too fast and sudden. An example would be the pool-side track. But it was nicely done, moving and then stopping on your actor. The camera crane up in the beginning seemed to last too long, but that might be something for editing which I'll come too soon. I liked coverage going on in the investigation scene. It wasn't too tight, wasn't too wide. I also liked the steady shot and then the monster move when the two guys kneel down to inspect. THAT made me go back to see how I had missed it. I never saw it coming and that's probably due to proper framing. NICE! I didn't like the Doctor's death scene. The monster popping up in front of the camera was too whacky for me. Otherwise, nice camera work.
Acting - Another accent. Was his authentic? I'm not going to jump and say I can tell or anything, but it seemed a little plastic. Maybe it was his line delivery. As well, majority of the line delivery failed aside from your Forensics guy. He was decent on his lines, as short as they were. Your doctor could've been more concerned about his plant escaping, but this could go back to script: if this experiment was so important then how did he not know immediately when invited to that area that it must've gotten loose?
Cine/Lighting - Anything more than bounce? Your location choices fit the deadly plant vibe, and your choice for the pool scene was actually really fitting as well. Don't know if I saw anything more but maybe a third time around would show me. Aside from that, colors were a bit flat. The greens might've benefited from being amped to really get into the "Green" of things.
Editing - I noticed that the editing lagged in places. The beginning crane shot for one. And when the dog yelps, it takes forever for the guy to come into frame. That could've been solved during editing. The dialogue cuts were a bit laggy as well, and the ending seemed to fall apart. Like the editor got tired. If you want to run it under six minutes and have your ending? I'd say slice out that entire dog part and start with the swimmers, or take out the swimmers and start with the dog. If you're going to run a longer version for show after the fest I'd like to see what it all looks like recut for the entire script.
Sound - Airy. The sound needs touching up. In the beginning I couldn't hear what the guy was saying to his pup. It might not've been important, but because he said it and I couldn't hear it I really wanted to. The ADR seemed a little "roomy" if that makes sense. But the leaves sound effects and plant-life were working in your favor. Scraping and all that good stuff. I also liked the score drop-in at the beginning when the dog got it. Sounded like horror-themed music to me.
Special Effects - You get crazy points for making the plants move without CGi effects, and without making them seem like stop motion or rewinds. Even when the guy's lifted into the air it's not so bad. I know he's probably getting his throat stuffed by poison ivy by the way his ankles are jittering. Nice plant-life.
Scariest Moments - The secret tree monster moving. That really caught me off-guard. Not that it scared me, but it was a nice addition and I didn't see it coming.
Overall consensus - This had potential to be a complete short. It seemed like it wanted to showcase more death scenes than the content that was available. I think you could recut for the same amount of time and get much better results by choosing which death scene to remove. I also think that I'd like to see what you had planned for the full version. I love Yorkies!!! They're so small and funny! Thanks for exhibiting and keep me updated on the next release of this short.
Another short that I had no idea about before watching. Again, I save all my judgement for my own viewing, avoiding reviews before I get to them. I have to say, you really had something going here. Then it fell apart at 5:30. Let me go into detail.
Script - This wasn't written for six minutes. At first I thought that it could've been, even after the dog scene and the intro to the movie. At the second death scene with characters that I realized would no longer be shown again, it hit me that I was going to get another short without an ending. Your dialogue can be sweetened on this one, or it could've been delivery. It sounded like Horror-Movie dialogue to me, just something was off. Just a script too long for this competition. But, not bad for a horror story.
Direction - Nice smooth movements. Some of the dolly tracking seemed a little too fast and sudden. An example would be the pool-side track. But it was nicely done, moving and then stopping on your actor. The camera crane up in the beginning seemed to last too long, but that might be something for editing which I'll come too soon. I liked coverage going on in the investigation scene. It wasn't too tight, wasn't too wide. I also liked the steady shot and then the monster move when the two guys kneel down to inspect. THAT made me go back to see how I had missed it. I never saw it coming and that's probably due to proper framing. NICE! I didn't like the Doctor's death scene. The monster popping up in front of the camera was too whacky for me. Otherwise, nice camera work.
Acting - Another accent. Was his authentic? I'm not going to jump and say I can tell or anything, but it seemed a little plastic. Maybe it was his line delivery. As well, majority of the line delivery failed aside from your Forensics guy. He was decent on his lines, as short as they were. Your doctor could've been more concerned about his plant escaping, but this could go back to script: if this experiment was so important then how did he not know immediately when invited to that area that it must've gotten loose?
Cine/Lighting - Anything more than bounce? Your location choices fit the deadly plant vibe, and your choice for the pool scene was actually really fitting as well. Don't know if I saw anything more but maybe a third time around would show me. Aside from that, colors were a bit flat. The greens might've benefited from being amped to really get into the "Green" of things.
Editing - I noticed that the editing lagged in places. The beginning crane shot for one. And when the dog yelps, it takes forever for the guy to come into frame. That could've been solved during editing. The dialogue cuts were a bit laggy as well, and the ending seemed to fall apart. Like the editor got tired. If you want to run it under six minutes and have your ending? I'd say slice out that entire dog part and start with the swimmers, or take out the swimmers and start with the dog. If you're going to run a longer version for show after the fest I'd like to see what it all looks like recut for the entire script.
Sound - Airy. The sound needs touching up. In the beginning I couldn't hear what the guy was saying to his pup. It might not've been important, but because he said it and I couldn't hear it I really wanted to. The ADR seemed a little "roomy" if that makes sense. But the leaves sound effects and plant-life were working in your favor. Scraping and all that good stuff. I also liked the score drop-in at the beginning when the dog got it. Sounded like horror-themed music to me.
Special Effects - You get crazy points for making the plants move without CGi effects, and without making them seem like stop motion or rewinds. Even when the guy's lifted into the air it's not so bad. I know he's probably getting his throat stuffed by poison ivy by the way his ankles are jittering. Nice plant-life.
Scariest Moments - The secret tree monster moving. That really caught me off-guard. Not that it scared me, but it was a nice addition and I didn't see it coming.
Overall consensus - This had potential to be a complete short. It seemed like it wanted to showcase more death scenes than the content that was available. I think you could recut for the same amount of time and get much better results by choosing which death scene to remove. I also think that I'd like to see what you had planned for the full version. I love Yorkies!!! They're so small and funny! Thanks for exhibiting and keep me updated on the next release of this short.
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
Kholi,
Wow! Thank you for the verbose review. Believe me, I'm making notes. Let me address some of your review:
Script: Yes, the script was not written for a 6 minute short. I had to cut out about 3 minutes and it was suggested that I cut the first scene to make the 6. I am making a "Director's Cut" and with all of the good feedback, it should be even better.
Direction: Thanks for the compliments... I think? The movie ended up darker than intended. I didn't know what I was doing for the compression. There is actually a lot more green.
Acting: You're the second person to question the accent of the Special Agent (played by Richard Boosey). His accent is authentic and he is from Great Britian and Canada. Interesting perspective on the 'Doctor'... Hmmm.
Cine/Lighting: We shot the woods scenes in the afternoon to get those long shadows. The whole film is a lot darker than intended. I think it got darker during the compression to QT process.
Editing: Thanks for the input. I could make arrangements for you to see the "Director's Cut" after the competition. And... you're not too far away from what I can tell.
Sound: I agree. I'll be working on the sound after the competition. My son did all of the sound and music.
Special Effects: That was most important to me. When we started this as an exercise, I wanted to do all of the effects as 'practical effects'. I think it turned out well.
Thank you for your review. I've taken it to heart and I'll keep you posted on the "Director's Cut".
Wow! Thank you for the verbose review. Believe me, I'm making notes. Let me address some of your review:
Script: Yes, the script was not written for a 6 minute short. I had to cut out about 3 minutes and it was suggested that I cut the first scene to make the 6. I am making a "Director's Cut" and with all of the good feedback, it should be even better.
Direction: Thanks for the compliments... I think? The movie ended up darker than intended. I didn't know what I was doing for the compression. There is actually a lot more green.
Acting: You're the second person to question the accent of the Special Agent (played by Richard Boosey). His accent is authentic and he is from Great Britian and Canada. Interesting perspective on the 'Doctor'... Hmmm.
Cine/Lighting: We shot the woods scenes in the afternoon to get those long shadows. The whole film is a lot darker than intended. I think it got darker during the compression to QT process.
Editing: Thanks for the input. I could make arrangements for you to see the "Director's Cut" after the competition. And... you're not too far away from what I can tell.
Sound: I agree. I'll be working on the sound after the competition. My son did all of the sound and music.
Special Effects: That was most important to me. When we started this as an exercise, I wanted to do all of the effects as 'practical effects'. I think it turned out well.
Thank you for your review. I've taken it to heart and I'll keep you posted on the "Director's Cut".
Matt Sconce
Veteran
Matt Sconce's Review of Hellebore
SPOLIERS POSSIBLE!
Script
I felt like this could be part of a B horror film at Blockbuster which totally rocks!!! I liked it
Acting
I thought the actors did a good job and thought the special agent did particularly well. Perhaps, we are so used to fake british accents, we now think the real ones are fake? haha!
Cinematography
Some of the shots were just excellent! I think you have a talent at getting some nice images from your camera!
Editing
Flowed well for me. I liked the moving tree. it felt well paced.
Overall Impressions
This is one of the films in this festival that feel like a feature B horror clip. I mean that in a ver good way. I wish it had more of a beginning middle and end, but it is what it is and I think it turned out very well indeed.
SPOLIERS POSSIBLE!
Script
I felt like this could be part of a B horror film at Blockbuster which totally rocks!!! I liked it
Acting
I thought the actors did a good job and thought the special agent did particularly well. Perhaps, we are so used to fake british accents, we now think the real ones are fake? haha!
Cinematography
Some of the shots were just excellent! I think you have a talent at getting some nice images from your camera!
Editing
Flowed well for me. I liked the moving tree. it felt well paced.
Overall Impressions
This is one of the films in this festival that feel like a feature B horror clip. I mean that in a ver good way. I wish it had more of a beginning middle and end, but it is what it is and I think it turned out very well indeed.
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
msconce said:Matt Sconce's Review of Hellebore
SPOLIERS POSSIBLE!
Script
I felt like this could be part of a B horror film at Blockbuster which totally rocks!!! I liked it
Acting
I thought the actors did a good job and thought the special agent did particularly well. Perhaps, we are so used to fake british accents, we now think the real ones are fake? haha!
Cinematography
Some of the shots were just excellent! I think you have a talent at getting some nice images from your camera!
Editing
Flowed well for me. I liked the moving tree. it felt well paced.
Overall Impressions
This is one of the films in this festival that feel like a feature B horror clip. I mean that in a ver good way. I wish it had more of a beginning middle and end, but it is what it is and I think it turned out very well indeed.
MSconce,
Coming from you, and knowing the quality movie that you can make, I really appreciate your review.
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
Additional "Production Stills' posted. Enjoy.
seejay1031
Well-known member
The pool scene was solid. I think this film (given the six minute limit) needed one less scene and to me the weakest link was the FBI dude and scientist going off by themselves, it didn't even really make sense. I wonder if there was a better film in this by just cutting away even more. The moving tree was really cool, but I would have liked for them to barely notice, nothing to obvious, but maybe a quick glance around by one of them. some really great moments throughout.
Darkline
Veteran
Hi Robert,
Yes this was a very enjoyable little b-movie. I loved the opening (poor actor!) and I loved the touches of the swamp thing being in the shot already rather than revealing him. really nice touch to just make him move in the background when you assumed it was a tree!
The sound wasnt up to par and the ending was a little harsh, but it really did have a different vibe to most of the shorts in this festival. Refreshing to see.
Yes this was a very enjoyable little b-movie. I loved the opening (poor actor!) and I loved the touches of the swamp thing being in the shot already rather than revealing him. really nice touch to just make him move in the background when you assumed it was a tree!
The sound wasnt up to par and the ending was a little harsh, but it really did have a different vibe to most of the shorts in this festival. Refreshing to see.
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
seejay1031 said:
Thanks for your feedback seejay1031. I thought the same thing about the 'tree' moving, and after it goes off frame, that they would maybe look around like they heard something. It's amazing how much you see after the final cut that you 'wish' you could do different.
I really appreciate the feedback. It will help me with the longer cut.
Robert Eldon
Well-known member
Darkline said:
Darkline,
Thanks for your input. I knew that sound would be an issue, because we were shooting outdoors. That was one of the challenges that we set for ourselves, and that was, to do a horror film that takes place mainly during the day, and outdoors.
You wouldn't believe how many times we had to 'hold' before a shot because of 'road' noises or airplanes circling. I agree with you on the sound. I enjoyed the challenge of trying to get good sound on this. I'll keep working on it.
I'm glad you liked it and I've been hearing about how 'different' or 'refreshing' it is to see. That was my intent, to create a horror film that didn't have too many cliche's and wasn't shot indoors. And, I admit, the girl in the bikini is probably a cliche, but... it's motivated, isn't it?
Darkline
Veteran
I forgot it all takes place in the day - and that is a challenge. Personally I think if you get it right daytime horror can be much more effective than the blue light nighttime stuff..... but its harder to get right.
outdoors thing is difficult if you dont have the mics, but you could always ADR - ive found this bit of software to be effective that I sometimes use - its called Vocalign, what it attempts to do is take audio recorded, say via your laptop, and you can input the sound from location in as a guide. it then tries to match the new recorded audio to the original. it takes some work but you can get perfect lip synced audio with it
anyway im going off topic. but its a thought for anyone who doesnt have a sound guy!
outdoors thing is difficult if you dont have the mics, but you could always ADR - ive found this bit of software to be effective that I sometimes use - its called Vocalign, what it attempts to do is take audio recorded, say via your laptop, and you can input the sound from location in as a guide. it then tries to match the new recorded audio to the original. it takes some work but you can get perfect lip synced audio with it
anyway im going off topic. but its a thought for anyone who doesnt have a sound guy!
TheatreGuy
Veteran
Hey Robert, can you direct me to see your film? I use mac. cannot seem to view.
Please PM me if you can help!
Thanks,
Ted
Please PM me if you can help!
Thanks,
Ted
Kyle Stebbins
AD GURU
did you try this:
http://www.lingothree.com/horrorfest/Hellebore-RobertEldon-RobertE.mov
http://www.lingothree.com/horrorfest/Hellebore-RobertEldon-RobertE.mov