Revenge

yeah. Excellent flick. I've studied it for a short of mine.

The more I watched it, the more I liked it - except for the few mistakes.

What did you think of it?
 
I thought it was great. I'd always heard about the famous "movie that goes in reverse" but it took me a long time to actually see it. I was really impressed by how well it was done - very original. Being an aspiring writer, the structuring was very impressive. And I had no idea Christopher Nolan co-wrote and directed it so that was cool to figure out. I love his work on Batman Begins and especially Dark Knight.
 
Yeah I read a story recently of how they wrote and pitched it. No one wanted to touch it, but everyone wanted it made. First time company pitched in the money and the rest is history.

Was based on a short story idea that Johnathan Nolan wrote.

Oscar nod and all. Fascinating stuff.
 
Hi Sean, I've just read your script and I enjoyed the ride.

The whole first section I could see in slow motion with the voice overs and the quick flashbacks in black and white. Yes it is stylised but it would look great.
Ok, we all agree this story has been done time and again, but it is still very enjoyable and very easy to read. As a father, the child killing stuff always makes me feel for the hero these days and want him to get revenge... You all will know when you have kids!!!
The ending, you have to like the supernatural elements to appreciate it. I didn't mind it at all. It also reminded me of some of the revengeful sprit films out there and maybe a new take on it would have freshened the whole script up for the masses... But it was still a very strong script.

Overall, I really enjoyed it, even though the idea isn't fresh. Well done.
 
It grabbed me from the beginning and was action-packed and very visual with just enough words.. not too many. I really liked the ending and also the VO. Great job! First one I read, and I hope to see more like it.
 
Thanks.

In the first draft it was a standard revenge script. He killed them all and left their badges on his families grave.

But for me a short needs impact as you have such little room to breath. So I wanted a twist of him being dead. But the murder of his family, of his child prevent him from resting. He thus us not aware that he is dead, so driven by his lust for revenge.

So I went for the happy ending whereby these people who had so much wrong done to them in this world would have the chance to perhaps live in peace in the next.

After writing it I remembered the High Plains Drifter that I have seen as a child. But then began to think, one could accuse the Sixth Sense of riping that off if they wanted. So decided I wanted to tell these story...
 
You write what you like my friend... It is very hard to write something totally fresh these days. You can't please everyone!!!
 
Hi there! Well you either like western supernaturals or you don't... and I liked this script.
The topic of V Overs keeps recurring in your feedback, but I fail to see how you could have worked the storyline without the V O's. I mean c'mon, VO's have to be the best method of communication for the undead - not that it spoilt the surprise - okay, not a total shock to find out John is actually dead, but I was enjoying the read regardless.
Well done!
PS. One crit. - your title 'Revenge' - a bit ordinary and TOO explanatary - whot 'bout...
'...The Law Won' ???
 
Cheers. I like the title and is very important as it ties into the ending and the badges - would work better in the visual medium (if shot).

Thanks again.
 
So, this one was awesome! It reminded me of a great end scene in a movie called Hard to Kill. (When Steven Seagal goes to the house of the men who killed his family and wipes them all out) Forgive me for referencing that flick if you hate it but I love that type of motivation for a character. You could almost feel John's heart pumping for revenge. (Great title by the way.) Plus it's got a super cool twist ending. Aside from personally just wanting to know a little bit more on why the sheriff's men would do such a horrible thing, I think this would make one really great short film!
 
very stylized. a lot of cool little moments. i though the VO was a tad overdone but good overall. the last shot reminded me of gladiator. i like the twist but i'm not sure if it's set up enough. i wanted a little bit more of an explanation. a few more clues along the way to make us wonder and then realize retrospectively what they meant. the sixth sense, for instance, was FULL of clues that all made sense afterward.


forgive me if any of the following has already been pointed out, i don't read the other reviews before i do my own.

John points his gun but is too slow to react. John pulls back
on each of the hammers and fires both weapons.
Click to expand...

is there a name mix up here?

Shades of glass fall down on Jim.
Click to expand...

shards.

This time it’s the
Bat Tender who cowers in the corner shaking.
Click to expand...

bar tender. and isn't "bartender" one word?

John turns and looks to the adjoining room as he swallows his
spit.
Click to expand...

too much spit swallowing going on. the bartender did this just a few pages prior.
 
Well played! Good, smooth style and the flow was like on the good side of a lazy river. Not too fast in the rapids, nor were we sitting in a conoe on the shore. See what I mean?

My only gripe would be the origininality of the story, ala The Crow, Gladiator, (insert revenge movie here). Granted, that is the title of the short, and I liked the play on the Deputy being the bad guy, but I guess I was just expecting some cool twist on the reason for revenge.

You writing style is on point, and typos are typos...it happens. Other than the overall premise, the short was gnarly!
 
first, you did a good job with it and people always love a good revenge western...i do! ;)

but... i am surprised that rod was the first to mention the glaring similarities to the crow. i just couldn't get past it. sorry. :(

that's not to say that your writing wasn't done well. it was. i like your style, and the flashbacks, and the description of the action. the added touch of the outlaws butchering his daughter was a deviation from the crow (though she was pregnant i believe).

i realize that you may not have been aware of the crow's storyline (not everyone is)... so please don't think i am judging you too harshly for this. i just wanted you to know that, for me, it was so similar that i couldn't help but be distracted by it.

other than that issue (that only people familiar to the crow will even have), i felt your writing was well done and your visual descriptions very effective. i could picture everything clearly.

nice job! :)
 
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Cheers.

Very hard these days not to be compared. Even when not intended.

Too many movies + story lines out there.
 
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