Red | White

Thanks for your comments. I would definitely like to see your film, please send me a PM when you get the chance.

I see what you are saying about extending the metaphor. I would agree with you on that point - it certainly could have been deeper and more connected to the identity of the man. In the end, that is probably the weakest point of the script for me: the man doesn't have a strong enough identity. I'll work on this for next time!
 
Mmm... I really liked this! The way you work in the flashbacks (for lack of a better term) was masterful. In fact I might steal that when I cut a longer version of our film! :D

I thought this was a fantastic bit of visual storytelling. No real dialogue to speak of but I was fascinated from the get go.

Would love to see a revised version when you guys get it done!

Daniel
 
I totally dug the look of the film. It was very atmospheric and the shot composition was excellent.

I also felt like the lead had a great intensity.

Overall, I enjoyed the journey, but I'm not 100% sure what happened. I think it is a bit like the classic short, "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge", and if that is so and it were made a bit clearer, I think this could be wonderful.
 
It grabbed me right away. There's intrigue in the first few seconds. Nice tone you set. The music and sound helped a lot with that. The first gun shot scared the pants off me. Great sound work overall. I liked the flashes and was trying to overcrank my brain at 100fps and figure it out before the reveal.

If I had to give any criticism, maybe it would be to go even deeper into the survival desperation thing? Maybe see him eat a live worm, shiver in the cold, injure his eyes... It's more of an artistic choice, and I like the ones you made.

Great acting, and I love a movie that tells a visual story, rather than drone on with mindless dialog.

I feel like I understood the story without any question or holes, at least my version of it.

High marks from me. Congrats!
 
Thanks for watching everyone! There was definitely a little more to it before I cut it down to six minutes. I'll be sure to let everyone know when we release the longer cut (after lossfest is over).
 
I'm not big fan of flashbacks, but you did a great job using them. The best I've seen so far in this festival. You maintained my interest from beginning to end, without dialogue, and a series of troubling images connecting the foreshadowing of things to come. At least, that is my interpretation. Your 6 min version left that pretty much unclear.

I don't think you were really developing a character here, you were creating a situation and experimenting with the approach. I like it a lot. Looking forward to seeing the full length version.
 
Looking forward to seeing the longer cut as well. Wish I had understood more of what was going on. Great atmosphere though, and I liked your lead. He was perfectly cast for this. Maybe the flashback-sound effect became slighly annoying after a while?
 
Sprocket - thanks, man. I appreciate the comments. I guess I wish I had been able to develop the character a little more. There's a lot I wish I could have done more with - but that's how it always is.

Kyrre - the flashback sound irritates me a little too after a while. I am planning on lowering the pitch and reducing the gain a little bit for the next cut. Hopefully it will be less irritating and more interesting after that treatment. Thanks for watching - I still think your film is the one to beat in this fest, but I still have about 30 more to watch :)
 
There were some interesting shots and scenes in this short BUT other than knowing he lost his job, I had absolutely no idea what was going on here. And for that reason I was never able to engage with this.

It was nice for a change to see dirt and grit involved with people in the outdoors.
 
Like some others have mentioned... it's hard to decipher what is truly happening here. It does remind me of an occurrence at owl creek bridge though I'm not sure how the two worlds co-inside with one another. It was well photographed and had very interesting composition in some areas but rather than enjoy the film, I'm stuck constantly trying to figure it out.. I think that element distracts from the piece. If this is a more art, ambiguous piece, I think it'd fare better going towards a more abstract theme.. right now it feels caught between abstract and narrative... and so I'm chasing after meaning and closure rather than searching for interpretation.

Secondly, just read that it's supposed to be longer... I don't know how much additional information you have to fill in here but from what I've seen, I think this piece would fare better if it were shorter. I feel like many of the moments were semi-repetitive and I found myself losing interest. Then again... I don't know how much additional detail you have on the cutting room floor so maybe the extra length is worth it!

Thanks for sharing.
 
Your film looked great, the flashbacks were really well done. I kept wondering why he didn't just pack up and start hiking out, he seemed healthy enough. I was never really sure what was going on and why I am supposed to care. But it looked great!
 
I liked how you took the flashbacks and pieced it all together it was done well, I'm still unsure as to what was going on but I enjoyed the grittiness of the outdoors and your cinematography was good consistent coloring.

Your lead was also believable, had a good style although there was little character development too him in this, he fit well into the situation.

The music was a bit too low, so I couldn't tell if it had an effect on the piece as a whole.
 
Hey man, really nice images your produced.

The sound was nice as well.

Althought, I'm a tad confused about the story. Maybe it's just another views worth 'till I understand it.

The lead did a good job and made it believable.

My only small nitpick is when he started eating the maggots, he acted as if the pot wasn't even hot. Putting his hand in and all. Now, I don't know how long it takes to cook maggots, but my guess would be that the pot would be extremely hot afterwards.

I guess you took this approach easy and it shouldn't really be recognized, and he should continue to do what he was doing.

Just a nitpick though!

Thanks for sharing,

Robbie
 
You created a great atmosphere and mood, and I was totally glued to it. Lounge room grading shows a touch red / yellow on my broadcast monitor - I think this could be darkened down a little and evened up. Perhaps a subtle S gamma curve would be nice.

But seriously I was so deep into this, its a testament to your work.
 
I have been spending so much time watching the other entries and commenting, I forgot to check in on my own thread!

Thanks to everyone for watching - it really is fantastic to get so much feedback, especially from folks who have nothing invested in the film personally.

It seems like not too many people are getting what's going on, and that's understandable. I'm glad to see that some folks are still really engaged with it and like it, even if they don't totally get the story.

I would say that the pieces are all there (Lawsuit_Boy completely got it), but it definitely demands a very active viewer to put it together. This is not necessarily a good thing, but I'm still happy with the sort of responses I'm getting. Please, keep the critiques coming and don't be afraid to challenge anything that didn't work for you. I know some of you have no problem giving harsh critiques, but for everyone else, believe me when I say that I appreciate hearing your gripes with the film as they can only help me to get better and to accept criticism more humbly.

Blaine - losing his job was supposed to be just one more reflection on "loss" and was sort of an integral part of the character, but then we cut a bunch of stuff from the script. It's kind of an artifact, and I'm not sure how much it really serves the story... but it's there.

Geoff - thanks for watching. I am in awe of your DP skills, so glad to hear that you thought it was well photographed. I honestly don't if I could make this shorter without making it even more confusing, but it is an interesting idea that I will consider.

warau - There were originally some scenes that explain why he can't find his way out. Sadly, most of them were never shot, and the one that remained really didn't work. I agree that this is a point of confusion.

Killoran - Interesting point about the music - I hadn't heard that one. I wonder if this had to do with your viewing envirnoment? I'm usually not one to challenge a critique, but I feel like ths music was loud enough to be heard clearly, without being overpowering. Perhaps I need to listen to it on some different TVs and speakers though - it's always so tough to balance out a soundtrack so that everything gets its proper weight.

Robbie - You're 100% right about the pot. I noticed this when I assembled the first edit - but it was way too late to do anything about it at that point. It is a small detail, but a mistake nonetheless. This is why big shoots have a dedicated continuity person :)

Noel and Shawn - Your comments made me smile. You guys are both great shooters and I appreciate that you dug the look. I am planning to adjust the grade in the apartment - Frank (Psotmaster) brought that up a few pages back and I agree with his assessment that a little less yellow and red and little more green would serve. I'll play with that gamma curve some too and see what happens.
 
Nice looking film. Good editing as well.
The film was a little confusing but reading back through the thread I think I got most of it.
I would be interested in seeing the longer cut if you come out with one.

MAH
 
Thanks, Mike. I will definitely be doing a longer cut after we reshoot some things next week. Might take me a couple of weeks to get it done, but I'll be sure to post it here when the fest is all over.
 
Sorry if this is a rehash, but I prefer to jump in unbiased.

Some cool survival stuff here. I don't think I would stand up if I heard a gun shot though. Or touch an aluminum pan fresh from the fire, but the rest is neat stuff.

Didn't get the missing sleeping bag. I felt like something important happened, but flew over my head.

Really like the pace and look of the flashbacks. They pretty much tell a parallel story all by them selves.

I get there was a botched robbery, and this guy is remembering back to some survival techniques or mind set to pull through this. No??

Second choice is he went a little nuts after the ordeal.

alex
 
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