One Way

Someone sitting on a swing set is one of the most creepy openings. I somehow always day dream that and always wanted to put it in a film. Job well done! Was the sound off in the middle? Basement lighting was great. Muzzle flares, sound FX need work. Well I don't quite understand this one. I think I have some idea. Overall, I was very intrigued throughout then left unsatisfied at the end.
 
You got some really good shots here, nice framing and I love the rack focus at the fence! I have to say you lost me with the story and no matter how many times I watched it, I just didn't understand what was happening (until I read your explaination). The audio threw me too. A little tweak here & there and you're in business.
 
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I believe I got this one. Kindred spirits is right. :)

Audio was not great but the way it was shot was kind of cool. I especially loved the closing shot.
Acting was decent, the reactions were pretty good. Overall the cinematography was quite nice. Had a different feel to it.
Have to work on that sound design though. It felt empty without it.
 
thanks everyone so much for taking the time to watch and comment. I was very aware of the sound issues - this was more or less my first time using some of this sound equipment and trying to make a sound mix, and between the time constraints and lack of experience...well needless to say it didn't pan out great. About the story, upon much reflection, I realize it just doesn't work all that well. I really liked the premise when I began, and perhaps through the process lost touch with how the audience would percieve it. I also see how many of the long pauses, which I meant to be meaningful and significant, don't work with everyone. I'm really trying to take this all in, and I can't wait to get in on the next competition.
 
I was really digging this at first then just got lost. Some nice looking shots and the color grade was cool. I can imagine what was going on, but would like more information. I don't need to be lead by the hand, but this was asking for too much of my imagination. Once you have a solid story and some better sound you will make great movies.
 
This short is very intriguing. I like that there is so much subtext (so many lines felt like they had double meanings).

But in the end, I was left with too many questions; I'm afraid I'm just not sure what happened. I'm not even sure who the villain is, but maybe that's what you wanted.

I think this has a lot of potential - it just might be that this is a tough story to do within a six minute time limit
 
Chris Messineo said:
This short is very intriguing. I like that there is so much subtext (so many lines felt like they had double meanings).

But in the end, I was left with too many questions; I'm afraid I'm just not sure what happened. I'm not even sure who the villain is, but maybe that's what you wanted.

I think this has a lot of potential - it just might be that this is a tough story to do within a six minute time limit
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Yeah, the ambiguity of who in fact was the villain was actually a conscious choice. I liked that both characters could arguably be characterized as villains, and that complicated what in fact a villain is in the first place. But then again I'm sure it only added to the confusion about what my short was about!
 
So the first guy sucked Ben into his depraved world, but then Ben turned the tables and went back in time to kill his mentor before he could get caught up with him.

At least that's what I thought happened.

I was waiting for that rain the whole time (way to build in tension). Overall a nice film.
 
Nice special effect and use of drab colors in the film. Nice shot for the poster. My choice would have been to move the character away from the wall on the right, or remove the wall altogether. It would make the character appear even more alone.
 
Yes I noticed the contrast, but I also noticed it took you 40 seconds of film time before you got anything going. You have 6 minutes to tell a story. Swing could have been done quickly and out of there, but...

Spoiler:

That was the least of your problems. The umbrella had absolutely no purpose in the film. It was not "plausible" that anyone, male or female would just take an umbrella from a stranger when it's not raining. No matter the story you must make it believable.

Another problem was that there was no true story. If someone is captive, they usually try to escape or attack their capture. Since we could not see any weapon or the capture himself, it just got muddled. Time travel, get your comeuppance, still didn't make sense.

I thought the moment you did a close up on the guys, there was nothing really revealing there to do so. I am sorry, but this was a rushed story from start to finish. I didn't like the acting, dialogue, actually, there's not much I can say other than you used contrast and different angles to shoot - but that in itself is not story.

I was lost in this one from the moment he took the umbrella.


 
Spoiler:
Cinematography was neat and the score was spooky. Some great shots in this. I really liked the audio from the park. I didn’t feel like I got all the answers, but that doesn’t really bug me I would say maybe the pace could be a little quicker in places. I like the cold weird thing that’s going on here.
 
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