OK so here is a short clip

S

skrott

Well-known member
This is a clip from the short film that I am working on right now.
Let me know what you think ok
 
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Seems pretty cool. The fact that they're cruising around in a regular SUV seems a little fishy (although anything is possible depending on location), but of course it could be a money thing. moving on...

The music was the biggest thing that got to me. I think I see what you were going for with it, but it was simply too powerful, and even uplifting at times. You might want to find a score that slips underneath the visuals and really pumps them up! Try not to overpower what's on the screen.

another thing that got me was the acting. It wasn't really bad, but the lines seemed to be a little too over the top, and the delivery not close enough to the top.

But honestly, it's a pretty good start. Just see what you can do about tightening the scene up a bit.
 
Oh, and I liked the shots of the burning vehicle. Very gritty and tragic.

Now, you just need the other guys to look like they went through that.
 
It is tough on a budget of a few 100 dollars for the entire picture, but I know what you mean. Have to work with what you can get ie Friends and so on. but thank you for putting out what you see and feel
 
skrott said:
It is tough on a budget of a few 100 dollars for the entire picture, but I know what you mean. Have to work with what you can get ie Friends and so on. but thank you for putting out what you see and feel
Click to expand...

Oh yeah, I totally understand. I had to push my first feature back to next spring (which contains some military elements) because I couldn't gather enough money and resources for it.

You still did a good job with what you had. Good location as well.
 
It's good, but I have one objection the drivers reaction seems a little fake when he turns back around and yells, "noooooooo!" I don't know maybe it was just me but it doesn't seem real enough, but besides that good job.
 
the main reason for using the van was while scouting locations i came across this rusted out van and I tought wow what a way to use it for the after explosion. and I tried get a military humvee and best I could do was out of LA for 1500 for the day and 300 for travel. heck my budget is less then a grand. but thanks for the comments
 
it seemed like a joke to me. music was sappy and out of place. and you broke the 180 rule in the van. could have done without the explosion effects. seems that a jostled camera and some good sound work would make the explosion much more real. i'd cut the "noooooo" also. assuming this is an ied, i'd imagine those come as more of a suprise. where did the chaplain come from? different music would make a big difference. thanks for posting.
 
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