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The opening shot, like your avatar shot, is a shot of an open crutch. Every Sears store photographer knows this is to be avoided. Certainly, it is not a nice way to start a video.
First cut is mid to mid. It lacks dynamism. Again, something that should be avoided.
Camera moves feel arbitrary.
It's not a great choice of location either.
First story set-up shot lacks authenticity - it doesn't look like the first time they met, it looks like he just nipped back to the car to get her a jacket.
Grading in this scene is poor.
Pay attention to your backgrounds, there are lots of distracting elements creeping into the frame in this scene and others.
Bar scene: doesn't work at all, it's clearly closed.
Furthermore, you don't have enough extras, the extras don't look cool, the extras look self-conscious. If you can't make the scene work, find another route.
Bedroom scene. Try using some lights.
These shots just look graded down, they look flat and lifeless. The lovemaking scene should be full of life, this feels full of grunge.
After this scene the edit meanders and loses it's focus.
This is also a poor choice of location - he doesn't look like the sort of bloke who likes to feed the ducks.
In the following montage the girl is filmed from too low an angle - with her shape of face it makes her look "chinny".
Some of the grading is off, particulaly the shot sitting in the park - green skin.
The end montage lacks dynamism and the editing doesn't hit the mark. It feels rushed and lacks finesse, like you've bashed it together quickly because you were near the end.
This video needs more performance shots. It feels like scenes are being stretched out and lacks pacing, both could be solved with more performance.
The biggest issue I have is the casting - they don't look like right together. She looks like she works in a call centre and likes kittens and cream cakes. He looks like he prefers girls who wear leather... ...you'll probably tell me they are a real couple, but this isn't real life, it's rock and roll and these two aint rock and roll...
The bottom line is you've chosen the wrong road to follow. You haven't got enough production value to pull off a great video with this treatment. You've reached too far with the resources you have. Too many elements fall short. It would have been a better decision to choose a treatment with less locations and more performance.
Great reply Gary. Do you want me to respond to each point - only kidding;-)
For the record, none of my comments were meant in a "taste of your own medicine" way - you'll have to take my word for that.
Liam's critique is harsh but honest. That's a very good thing. It is far more valuable to Gary than hearing 'well done, great cinematography'. It's not only beneficial to the author but others as well. I wish more people would take their time to give such detailed critique and analysis.
Looks good. The bedroom scenes were to dark but the others look pretty good. I'm not sure what Liam is talking about the couple not looking right together. He must not get out much.
You must have missed the bit about keeping it civil...I'm not sure what Liam is talking about the couple not looking right together. He must not get out much.
Guys, thats NOT my point. Harsh criticism is fine. But 100% harsh is "harsh". What I was asking Liam for was at least ONE good point out of him. JUST ONE. As Liam says, he's a music video expert. Well, as an expert I'm sure Gary would have said to him, "Was there ANYTHING I did right"? Even while looking at a car that I detest, I will find something on it I like.
I get that the expert is trying to use his resume to give an HONEST critique of the video. But a good teacher and mentor will encourage what is done both wrong and right.
I'd be afraid to be a woman around Liam. I would never ask him, "How do I look"? :furious3:
You must have missed the bit about keeping it civil...
I can see why more people are not honest in their critique. The fact that it looks good and you finished it is a good thing. I dont think that you had to justify why you did each step. Most people here have worked or are working on a "no budget, no crew" type of existence. I recommend just looking at the points made and taking what you think is helpful and leaving what you dont. I think you guys were a little hard on Liam for being honest in his opinion on what would make the video better. He didnt say that it sucked, he only said what would make it better.
You must have missed the bit about keeping it civil...
Someone who has worked on several projects here's my professional opinion.
Loved the video.....
The only knock are two things, the opening scene should have been much stronger on how they met and should have used some different color grades in certain scenes to separate ones from the actual present. Other than that great video. The ending was strong and the flashback sequence (minus the lack of grade) was powerful and conveyed the message 100%. I like it a lot and thought you did a great job. Loved the dance scenes and the dolly reaction of the main artist!
Here's a project I worked on (edited and strongly structured together) as it's only fair to share some of my work
peace
part II to the video
Some continuity errors but still liked it overall
That was civil. Those two as a couple was not a stretch at all.
Dusty, I haven't erased anything and I've never worked with U2. I have no idea what you are babbling about...
Thanks to the folks springing to my defence. Honestly, I didn't mean to take this thread off topic. This is Gary's thread and we should get back on topic. If someone wants to debate my critiquing skills start a new thread...