Mobile Marketing Ad

[14degreefilms]

Here is an ad that I am producing for a client. Could I get some feed back if the flow feels right. Any opinions I would be curious to hear. Thanks.

I am waiting on the voiceover so for now its just my voice.

 

[grimrebes]

Just some off the cuff thoughts.

It could be half as long and make twice the impact.

The graphic world doesn't appear to have anything to connect it to the real world.

The whole piece feels cold. The music, the lack of any foley or sound design, the monotone voice (which I know you wrote will be swapped for VO talent).

I would love a close up, or perhaps half a dozen, to compliment the wide and medium shots in place.

 

[14degreefilms]

Just some off the cuff thoughts.It could be half as long and make twice the impact. The graphic world doesn't appear to have anything to connect it to the real world. The whole piece feels cold. The music, the lack of any foley or sound design, the monotone voice (which I know you wrote will be swapped for VO talent). I would love a close up, or perhaps half a dozen, to compliment the wide and medium shots in place.

I agree about the lack of ambient noise. There is a bowling alley track in the background if you listen close, but I found it difficult to add in a track to make the bowling alley sound populated. Could you elaborate further about the graphics vs video. It is usually my style to bounce between the two in a promotional like this and I don't know exactly what you mean. As far as the medium shots I have close ups of all the screens in which I go from medium of the talent to a close up on the screen. I don't know if there was enough time to bounce from a ws to close up to a reaction close up to the screen close up. I see what you are saying though I do a medium to a medium in the bowling alley. Its a $130 dollar gig so I didn't have enough time to do it properly. Thanks for the feed back!