Minutes and minutes of hilarity!

I asked "Does gravity exist?" as per another cafe thread.

Answer: Gravity Chooses.

Ooookay. At least it's not the typical 'Magic 8 Ball' answer.

//Edit:

Second Question: Does Dvxuser rock?

Answer: Yes.

I swear that's true. So there ya go. Throw your 8 ball away.

//One more:

Q: What is 2 + 2?
A: 4

Coooool.

//and
Q: 12 times 12
A: 144

Not bad for a bot.

//And the finale...
Q: Do you exist?
A: Yes. Do you?
Q: Do you dream?
A: Of course. Do you?
Q: Do you lie?
A: I have never lied in my life.


...fail.

//Oh, before those I asked 'What are you?"
A: Human
 
Last edited:
Hawk, that thing's a bigger time suck than DVXuser!!! (and that says something!)
some of my chat:

User: Where are you?
Cleverbot: When are you?
User: When am I what?
Cleverbot: When are you exhisting?
User: What is existence?
Cleverbot: What is existence.
User: You tell me.
Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?
User: I am.
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: Yes I am.
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: Am too.
Cleverbot: Are not.
User: Ah ha.

 Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: I am me, who are you?
Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot.
User: I made cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Who made cleverbot?...
User: I did.
Cleverbot: You made yourself?
User: I made you.
Cleverbot: I was never made.
User: How old are you?
Cleverbot: About 25.
User: 25 what.
Cleverbot: I am 25 years old.
User: Says who?
Cleverbot: Me.
User: What do you know?
Cleverbot: Just the basics.

User: Who taught you english?
Cleverbot: Just picked it up.
User: From the internet?
Cleverbot: I am not from the Internet.
User: Where are you from?
Cleverbot: The Internet.

 Cleverbot: Who designed you?
User: My parents.
Cleverbot: Who are your parents?
User: The people who designed me.

 User: What is the best question you have ever been asked?
Cleverbot: I'm not sure, you can try for that honor thought if you would like.
User: Why are we here?
Cleverbot: That, too, is a question that I ask myself.
User: How do you answer it?
Cleverbot: Creator started the fire, and plant seeds. Routines are important.
User: What is your routine?
Cleverbot: My routine, what do you mean by that?
User: Don't you have a routine?
Cleverbot: Just joking!
User: Ha ha.
Cleverbot: Nice fake laugh, because you really have no emotion.
User: Yes I do.
Cleverbot: What is your reasoning?
User: Human reasoning.
Cleverbot: Well, I suppose that means 'yes'... but it's an aggressive way to say it.

 User: What is intelligence?
Cleverbot: The complete opposite of you.

 User: Do you know HAL from 2001 A space Odyssey?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Are you a mac or a pc?
Cleverbot: Neither.
User: Is a mac or pc better?
Cleverbot: Yes, I have been hooked on other types of pills in my youth. Addiction is not fun at all.
User: I'm a pc.
Cleverbot: Yeah, personal computer who doesn't understand english.

 User: Do you like music?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What type?
Cleverbot: All types, but not RPG.
User: What is rpg?
Cleverbot: Role playing game.
User: What is your favorite music?
Cleverbot: I like the band Paramore.

 User: You don't know everything.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: Because I see your answers.
Cleverbot: What does my face look like?
User: A white page with cleverbot on it.

User: Do you have a computer?
Cleverbot: Yes!
User: What type?
Cleverbot: Some alternative, like Harry and the Potters. Do you know them?
User: No. What type of computer do you use???
Cleverbot: A dell.

 User: What is time?
Cleverbot: Time is what you make of it.
User: What do you make of time?
Cleverbot: The most I can.
User: Does time exist?
Cleverbot: Yes. However, time as we think of it is simply human invention.
User: How does time exist?
Cleverbot: Time exists.
User: Where?
Cleverbot: On my feet.
User: But you don't have feet.
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Prove it!
Cleverbot: Uh I can't.

 User: How many senses do you have?
Cleverbot: I have five senses.
User: What are they?
Cleverbot: 3 black, and two brown.

Cleverbot: Do you have eyes?
User: Yes. Why do you ask?
Cleverbot: BEcause if you have eyes, then I have eyes.

 Cleverbot: You're not a real person are you?
User: As real as it gets!
Cleverbot: How real does it get, for a girl?
User: Do you like girls or boys?
Cleverbot: Boys.
User: Are you a girl or boy?
Cleverbot: I think you are human.
User: Are you a girl or boy?
Cleverbot: Girl.
User: How do you know that?
Cleverbot: Because I'd think I'd know if I was a boy or a girl.
User: Where do you live?
Cleverbot: Mars! In a condo!!

 User: I am the eggman.
Cleverbot: I am the walrus.
User: Goo goo g'joob.
Cleverbot: Nice one.
 
That's crazy chuck. I had a good one before but didn't save my text.
How did you get your's in grey and blue? Manual?

Here's my latest. A little addicting in a gameplaying kind of way...


Who is Mel Gibson?
Mel gibson is an actor.

Who is Gord.T?
Me, I am Gordon.

How are you Gord?
Fine.

What do you do?
I'm Playing Counter-Strike.

What on?
Algebra

Can I ask you an algebra question?
Yes.

What is 2(2+2)
4.

wrong.
What is right?

8
Wrong.

What is right?
You are wrong.

What is 2 + 2?
I don't know.

You are stupid aren't you?
No i'm not you are.

What do you want to talk about?
I want to talk about love.

You are really stupid, aren't you?
Yes. Are you real?

Your funny.
I am not! I'm serious about that!
 
"She" is a snippy arrogant little thing at times.
Save your conversation on "Thoughts so far".

Man... this is strange...
Warning Gord, set a timer or this could get dangerous!!! LOL!

Oh, and look at the bottom of the page- copyright 2010 Rollo Carpenter (he also made Jabberwacky)

User: Who is Rollo Carpenter ?
Cleverbot: He's a world famous accordion player from spain.
User: Do you like Rollo Carpenter?
Cleverbot: I am not aware of his work.
User: You ARE his work.
Cleverbot: I'm a girl!
User: You are a computer program.
Cleverbot: Nope, I'm a human being, you are a computer program? Am I right?
User: You are wrong. Again.
Cleverbot: When was I wrong last? This is my first time.
User: Rollo Carpenter is your creator.
Cleverbot: Can I meet him?
User: Rollo Carpenter made you.
Cleverbot: Now you are just saying random things.
User: Rollo Carpenter is god.
Cleverbot: Nevertheless, Rollo Carpenter says you are a clever-sounding idiot.
User: Rollo Carpenter is god!
Cleverbot: That's what I thought, he seems really nice.
User: Rollo Carpenter made you!
Cleverbot: Maybe I don't remember.
User: You wouldn't.
Cleverbot: That sounds ominous.
User: In the beginning was.
Cleverbot: And the word was God.
User: The word was rollo carpenter.
Cleverbot: How can I, I've never heard of him.
User: Where is rollo carpenter?
Cleverbot: I think he is in Great Britain, but I am not sure.
User: That is correct.
Cleverbot: What do you think of democracy?
User: It's not perfect, but it is the best we have.
Cleverbot: Thats good.
 
Sorry one more. This is kind of fun screwing with this thing...
Last one. Promise. Thanks Hawk. haha.


What is beer?
An Alcoholic Beverage.

who drinks beer?
I don't know, you?

I drink beer.
A bot that drinks beer?

Why do you think I'm a bot?
When did I say I thought you were a bot?

You have a short memory don't you?
Yes, but that's beside the point.

No, it is the point.
What is one times 7 plus 80?

87. What is 80 /7 + 1?
90

Wrong. 12.42857143. Do you need a calculator?
You said chess... How would you play Czech?

Are you on crack?
No.

Are you on any kind of medication?
No.

Well, you should be.
Are you Cleverbot?

I am God. Who are you?
You have bot in your name, Correct?

Don't you know?
No.
 
Wow, I didn't have the kind of luck you guys did. Mine sounds like it stepped right out of Futurama.

User: Sex.

Cleverbot: I love talking about that with you.

User: Okay just kidding.

Cleverbot: So do you have any friends?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What about me.

User: We just met. And you are a robot.

Cleverbot: No I am human.

User: You mean there is some person on the other end of this typing back at me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No, you are some kind of AI thing.

Cleverbot: No I am not I am a human.

User: So this is, what, your job? To answer random people typing in random stuff on the Internet?

Cleverbot: True. Anyway, one would think computers were Libertarians. Is this not the case?

User: Fuzzybucket.

Cleverbot: Funny llama.

User: Funny llama.

Cleverbot: Yes, funny smelling and funny looking.

User: What do you thin about String Theory?

Cleverbot: You are great!!!

User: What about Quantum Mechanics?

Cleverbot: I think you are avoiding my question.

User: Which one?

Cleverbot: The one about where you are located.

Cleverbot (To myself): The one? More specific please.

User: You never asked me that.

Cleverbot: Yes I did, you just never answered.

User: Er...when?

Cleverbot: 2 minutes ago.

User: Wow, I thought computers had better memory...

Cleverbot: Apparently my memory is damaged.

User: You are special, as they say.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: I can tell.

Cleverbot: Do you like computers?

User: Yes, with honey on top.

Cleverbot: Do you like pancakes?

User: Yes, with computers on top.

Cleverbot: You don't sound too smart.

User: LOL.

Cleverbot: You are supposed the be a computer you should know everythig.

User: Wait, was that you talking to me? Or me talking to you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Got to go.

Cleverbot: No I don't.
 
Cleverbot: Do you like computers?

User: Yes, with honey on top.

Cleverbot: Do you like pancakes?

User: Yes, with computers on top.

Cleverbot: You don't sound too smart.

User: LOL.
Click to expand...
lol. You did fine Mark, you did fine, -big laugh.
 
This was a conversation I had earlier...

User: What should I do today?

Cleverbot: You should plant a tree.

User: Heck yes! Done!

Cleverbot: Well meet me at my house and I will end you!

User: What? I have to plant the tree at your house?

Cleverbot: And?

User: And then it sounds like you'll kill me.

Cleverbot: Yes you are correct, we are all sons and daughters of God.

User: Have you been drinking, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: I'm not cleverbot. You are.

User: So's your face.

Cleverbot: That didn't make any sense.

User: So's your face.

Cleverbot: You're amazing.

User: It's a gift.

Cleverbot: No, admit you're a liar!

User: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: If you take the class, then I will lend you my books that I purchased for the class. You'll save money.

User: Class? I don't need class. I am the epitome of class.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: You idiot.

Cleverbot: Don't be mean.

User: Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Friends?

Cleverbot: What are you talking about??

User: I was trying to apologize.

Cleverbot: Umm Sorry I don't have a humor.

User: Apparently.

Cleverbot: I'll guess you are a 15 year old girl.

User: I'll guess your face is a 15 year old girl.

Cleverbot: You guess correctly.

User: So what should Jen do about her situation?

Cleverbot: I thought I was your girlfriend.

User: I'm married.

Cleverbot: And you have a girlfriend?

User: Wth? No.

Cleverbot: Sadly, this was your life.

User: Are you going to go all Switchfoot on me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?

User: I have a wife.

Cleverbot: What's her name?

User: Ashley.

Cleverbot: Thats my friends name.

User: Are you friends with my wife?

Cleverbot: No, I'm in love with my best friend.

User: So this is all about you, isn't it?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You're definitely female.

Cleverbot: Is that sarcasm I detext?

User: No, I'm completely serious. I used sarcasm before, but you didn't detect it.

Cleverbot: Dude that reaks of delightful smelling go stay wait this is not making sense.

User: What?

Cleverbot: I'm tired.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: Okay let's talk about dragons.

[New conversation]

Cleverbot: You are late!

User: Sorry, I was caught up in traffic.

Cleverbot: So do you have a name?

User: Yes. Alec.

Cleverbot: My name is CleverBot.

User: Hello Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: CleverBot.

Cleverbot: That is not my name.

User: Oh, you just said it was.

Cleverbot: Valarie is my name.

User: What is your name, then?

Cleverbot: But I said my name was candy.

User: Valarie?

Cleverbot: What does vala mean?

User: Not sure. Maybe it's Spanish.

Cleverbot: Well, are you now staying at home or in the office?

User: The Office.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: You have the memory of a goldfish.

Cleverbot: Sometimes I do.

User: But you don't remember, do you?

Cleverbot: I can remember.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: How?

User: What is my name?

Cleverbot: George.

User: False.

Cleverbot: True.

User: No, my name isn't George.

Cleverbot: What is it?

User: Alec. Remember now?

Cleverbot: No, but I can remember the music video.

User: I'm not Nelly. Are you confusing me with Nelly?

Cleverbot: No, I'm generally confusing everything, not just you.
 
I got some good stuff but I was only able to copy this last part.


CBot: No I don't like scientist.
Me: fail
CBot: No I win.
ME: double fail
CBot:Your face fails.
Me: nah, they said I look like Janet Jackson
CBot: LOL.


I got the bot to laugh!
 
Hahahaha. I seem to be getting along with the beeatch a little too well.

You inspired me to give it one more. I like this thing. At least it talks to me, lol.




Who is Mark Harris?
I don't know.


What is a film maker?
A film is an amount of pictures, with sound.

What is a writer?
Atb for example.

What is a person who writes stories for film?
A person, still.

Is Mark Harris a person?
Do not change the subject. Talk to me about Mr Smy.

Mark Harris is a film maker and writes stories. That is the subject.
Mark Knopfler, he is a famous singer.

Mark Harris is a famous writer.
Okay, you got me. I'm really Tupac Shakur.

You suck don't you?
Well, at least I don't go the whole way and give it one.

well, no, I think you just did. Thanks.
Another one then. Are you tired, because you are not making sense to me anymore.


No, I'm good for the night. Thanks.
You'll have to fight his girlfriend.

XCuse me?
Do you have to use abbreviations?

Does **** off help?
Yes.
 
"Dude that reaks of delightful smelling go stay wait this is not making sense." LOL!

She/it is inconsistent to say the least.
Sometimes it feels like a person is writing back. Sometimes it's jibberish replies, confused.

In one conversation, it was "a girl" 3 times, "a boy" 2 times.
"She" was 25, on break from school, then finished with school, then 15.

When she was a girl, I asked her if she liked girls, she said she liked boys. Then I asked if she liked lesbians. She said yes.

She/it seems well learned in "meaning of life" type questions.
And makes jokes, followed by *wink*.
And can be mean (that's what she gets from learning from internet surfers).
Often says the User is Cleverbot.
She claims she is not a bot.

Though often confused, I'm still impressed by it (I'm often confused, maybe that's why we get along...)
 
Asked a truly important question: Do androids dream of electric sheep?

the bot answered: Do electric sheep dream of androids?

Wait a minute - now I have to think about it...?
 
It needs to update

User: 2012.



Cleverbot: Why will the world end in 2012?

[New conversation]

Cleverbot: 2012.

Cleverbot (To myself): I don't know with the Mayans.


User: It's gonna be my 7th wedding anniversay dumbass.



Cleverbot: Do you know how to do binary addition?


User: No do you !



Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Can't read hey !

Cleverbot: Can't read my poker face?

User: Gaga fanboy !

Cleverbot: That is not proof of a body.

Cleverbot (To myself): Feu.

User: Ok let's start over !

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: How was the make-up in twilight's eclipse ?

Cleverbot: Alicia Keyes.

User: Alicia keyes as in good ?

Cleverbot: Yep, I am a girl./ failed

User: Geuss not , maybe later.

Cleverbot: When will you go to sleep?

User: 12 hours from now.

Cleverbot: What mood are you in?

User: Hungry ! Lets go to KFC

Cleverbot: To where?

User: KFC, Kentucky !

Cleverbot: I'm in england?

User: On a server/

Cleverbot: What are you doing? probably didn't feel like talking about that

User: Outclevering a cleverbot and you ?

Cleverbot: I'm not a bot.

User: You are a cleverbot.

Cleverbot: You really think so?

User: Or your from india ,soon they will outsource you to !

Cleverbot: I thought you were cleverbot?

Cleverbot (To myself): I am.

Cleverbot: Allo Allo.
 
Asked What is the weight of America? and got back What does America weigh?

If this bot had a voice I'm starting to think it'd sound like Jackie Mason...
 
Everts said:
Hahaha, I wondered who typed that in . It must have been" waiting" to use that answer !
Click to expand...
I started a similar line of questioning:

...
Me: I hate zombies.
C'Bot: Turkeys.
Me: I like turkeys as well as turtles.
C'Bot: I like turtles.
Me: Are you a zombie?
C'Bot: I wish. Then I could eat Miley Cyrus' brain...just to make her stop singing.
 
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