Mécontentement

I had this first written as a short story. Then my writer and I went through and
cut out everything we deemed unnesessary. Afterall the cutting we had a heavy
skeleton to work with. When we hit the translation phase the narration ballooned
by 20 percent so we cut and streamlined even more. I have to admit one thing
though, this is my very first film ever and I quickly realized, with the first few
takes of the VO, that it was still heavy. We acutally had the narration continue
at the end and that was axed for more visual impact.

You're right on point Darkline!

oh yeah, about the counterpoint to the visuals, that's a bit of a grey area. It
was more biased toward viewer comprehension than I had anticipated for the
final product. That was the part of the proccess I found most difficult to change
in post after all the footage was ingested. I need to reshoot some parts as well.
 
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i guess i didnt take into account the translation part - i thought you were French...lol I can see how that would make you go 'ahhh' when the translated script came in....

brave effort in my eyes!
 
oh christ i was putting myself out on a very short and thin limb with this one. hehe

Truth be told, I've learned that english can be exceedingly redundant, moreso
than I had myself beleive, and that french can be imprecise just enough to
bloat any translation by 20 percent or more.
 
cheersforfest.jpg
 
Inexistence, this was a masterpiece of a film. The cinematography was just beautiful. I felt like I was watching a piece of art!

The story was both tragic and wonderful. What an incredible grasp of filmmaking you have. It is so nice to see something that you weren't expecting... at all!

Bravo! Well done.

Ted
 
I think if you'd included that shot of the tank while he was hiding, I quite possibly would of wet myself.

A fine piece of film-making. Art in video form!

Have another Stella on me.

EJ
 
Hey again, I just watched your film again and showed my wife (it is one of the few that I can show her because she is not at all into horror, nor myself for that fact...)

Anyways, I wanted to comment on the opening shot of the trees and how I really enjoyed that shot. And by the time the film ends, that shot means so much more.

I love that kind of stuff!!!

Again, great job.

Ted
 
nice work.

i really like this one. it's one of the few films in this fest that really took some chances.

others have commented on it looking washed out, but i assumed this was intentional, and i thought it worked quite well with the piece.

the music, the french, the look, the vfx, all had the same kind of dreariness that really matched the tone of the piece. i think this is an exceptional work.

the whole time i really wanted to see what was going on outside of the space of the main character - the tanks, the soldiers, the destruction, etc.- but i thought it was a bold move to leave them out. we've all seen this stuff before, and know what it looks like so i actually thought not showing them was more powerful. going along with this, i wish you would take those snippets of tanks and planes out of the end credits. although really cool, i really think they are unnecessary and actually take away from the piece.

a couple of minor technical things that can easily be fixed: sometimes during the voiceover i could hear the cuts and it was a bit distracting - you might try rolling the fade a bit more, or adding some kind of room tone to fix that. the footsteps also seemed way off sometimes- maybe try playing around with the timing and levels a bit (i don't think they should all be at the same level).
 
TheatreGuy said:
Inexistence, this was a masterpiece of a film. The cinematography was just beautiful. I felt like I was watching a piece of art! The story was both tragic and wonderful. What an incredible grasp of filmmaking you have.
Click to expand...
Well said, Ted. I agree! One million percent! A beautiful piece of fine art filmmaking!
 
Hitting the nail on the head on all points here!

At one point during the final audio stage I had to switch to using a
basic workstation at work which had really junky speakers and my
headphones barely made a difference. But, yeah everytime I hear/see
the footsteps, VO I cry:crybaby:

As for the snipets at the end, I have more use for those as part of
the story. I'm going to post a laundry list of revisions and complete
them before the end of next week!

Thank you again everyone! It's been a truly enlightening experience
here and it has brought to light exact weaknesses that I have to
work on... how can I express my gratitude?!:(


luster said:
nice work.

i really like this one. it's one of the few films in this fest that really took some chances.

others have commented on it looking washed out, but i assumed this was intentional, and i thought it worked quite well with the piece.

the music, the french, the look, the vfx, all had the same kind of dreariness that really matched the tone of the piece. i think this is an exceptional work.

the whole time i really wanted to see what was going on outside of the space of the main character - the tanks, the soldiers, the destruction, etc.- but i thought it was a bold move to leave them out. we've all seen this stuff before, and know what it looks like so i actually thought not showing them was more powerful. going along with this, i wish you would take those snippets of tanks and planes out of the end credits. although really cool, i really think they are unnecessary and actually take away from the piece.

a couple of minor technical things that can easily be fixed: sometimes during the voiceover i could hear the cuts and it was a bit distracting - you might try rolling the fade a bit more, or adding some kind of room tone to fix that. the footsteps also seemed way off sometimes- maybe try playing around with the timing and levels a bit (i don't think they should all be at the same level).
Click to expand...
 
Truly like the story line here ...different from everyone Else's so far .

I wish the short was a little darker and not washed out looking (my preference) but I do understand the look you were after .

I find the opening shot of the trees a nice touch as I also filmed the exact same scene for ours , also for the opening scene BUT was left out do to time .
Funny too is you also used a tree not absorbing like ours but expanding outward .
It is always refreshing to see something different !!!!!
The only other complaint I have is the shots of the dead men were a little to quick for me . That's it .
Nice short !!
Ian
 
Excellent work. The depth of the story is great. The visuals only added to the depth. Excellent use of CG (it actually served a purpose other than eye candy!!). The footsteps were mentioned, but other than that... I fail to see anything other than a work of art. Nice job!
 
Acting: Your lead was engaging and interesting to look at.
Script: Interesting and original but not Horror.
Direction: Some very interesting storytelling techniques used, well done!
Music: Nice.
Editing: Smooth.
Lighting: Lovely natural lighting, lots of sun flares, yaay! :dankk2:
Loved: That first shot! BW, tank Foley (ACE), the smoke when he get’s shot, the end credit’s (best of the fest WOW!:thumbup: ), to the end shot back to the start.
Hated: That you didn’t show the bodies.
Overall: A very emotionally involving piece here, loved your use of sound FX, off camera ideas to tell the story. You guys have got skills and lots of them!

J.P.

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS ON BROKEN CIRCLE (THANKS)
 
Hey Inexistence! Congratulations on your film!!! I really enjoyed this. So different in so many ways. Such great work you did!

Good luck and hope to see you around again!

This has been a blast!

Ted
 
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