LYRICAL TRANSITIONS: The First Time

Oops, it looks like I modified my post as you were quoting me! LOL! I was trying to find something to say that would kick your a$$... I opted for a nice Ted comment as I modified my post.
 
Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
Any new grabs or are you saving the rest for the big release tomorrow?

Cheers,
Click to expand...
Mike, I'm gonna' try and get some up tonight or early in the morning, but I'm trying to finish editing the whole thing, which has three other parts. I hope to get that done tonight, but don't know if I'll make it. Workin' 10 hours today, which only leaves me just a few hours to edit. Hate that!
 
SPOILERS:


DUDE! This was really good! So much so that I'm going back to watch it again.

The compression seemed off but other than that the movie rocked. Man, you told quite the story in just one part! Can't wait to see the rest.

Your actors were sick! Dead on perfect,

Cheers,
 
Hey Marlon!

Great job. Wow, you are a poet, man!

I enjoyed this. I liked the style and the way you shot it. Very much a music video feel to it.

Nice work to you and your cast and crew!

-Ted
 
Hey Marlon nice work!

I dug the spoken word thing form the beginning, but then it was really cool because I got wrapped up in the story even though it had a more presentational form.

This was really original too. I'm sure there won't be another entry like it. I guess in a small way it was reminiscent of the Closet, except that it wasn't stupid, but actually good.

But still very original and well excecuted. The talent really pulled it off, and thank god the rhymes and poetry were better than good they were excellent.

If there's any room for improvement I would say it would be lighting your non studio shots as well as the mic shots. It looked like in most instances you were using available light for interiors and extieriors. OK for some things but a piece like this works well with technical polish.

Anyway, hats off for telling a story that was engaging in an original way. I think the hardest hurdle in being filmmakers at our level is finding your own voice and not just emulating the style of others. This really had a unique voice and it engaged me.

:beer:
 
Marlon, this was a real nice surprise and you kept the secret well! It reminded me it would be nice in future fests to see more things off strict narrative.

I liked the rap(?), spoken word(?) too. It reminded me of The Streets. I dunno if it's strictly poetry, or some strain of hiphop or what, but I love that it's a little flat and not concerned with musicality and just telling the story.

And I agree with Jack, the intercut story elements worked well with the music. Nice work!

it seems like your audio sync is off every now and then in the story portions.
 
Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
SPOILERS:
DUDE! This was really good! So much so that I'm going back to watch it again.
The compression seemed off but other than that the movie rocked. Man, you told quite the story in just one part! Can't wait to see the rest.
Your actors were sick! Dead on perfect,
Cheers,
Click to expand...

Thanks, Mike. Yeah, after I compressed it and went back to look at it, it's not so good. I don't know what happened. I even had a smaller file sized one that was better. Maybe might computer was tired at that point or somethin'. I'm at work all day, but when I'm done I'll get to yours. Already read some reviews and looking forwar to it. The actors all did excellent. The main characters in this one are actually my brother and sis-in-law.
Ted Arabian said:
Hey Marlon!
Great job. Wow, you are a poet, man!
I enjoyed this. I liked the style and the way you shot it. Very much a music video feel to it.
Nice work to you and your cast and crew!
-Ted
Click to expand...

Thanks, Ted. Yeah, I wanted to shoot it like a music video, but I wanted it to be more than that with what's going on. Looking back on it, I don't know how I came up with this idea (spoken word), LOL, but when it was all over it came together better than I expected. The cast and crew were great.
Jack Daniel Stanley said:
Hey Marlon nice work!
I dug the spoken word thing form the beginning, but then it was really cool because I got wrapped up in the story even though it had a more presentational form.
This was really original too. I'm sure there won't be another entry like it. I guess in a small way it was reminiscent of the Closet, except that it wasn't stupid, but actually good.
But still very original and well excecuted. The talent really pulled it off, and thank god the rhymes and poetry were better than good they were excellent.
If there's any room for improvement I would say it would be lighting your non studio shots as well as the mic shots. It looked like in most instances you were using available light for interiors and extieriors. OK for some things but a piece like this works well with technical polish.
Anyway, hats off for telling a story that was engaging in an original way. I think the hardest hurdle in being filmmakers at our level is finding your own voice and not just emulating the style of others. This really had a unique voice and it engaged me.
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Click to expand...

I appreciate your critique, Jack. Glad you liked the rhymes. I write all of my films and when I told my music guy about the project and that it was "spoken word," he asked me who was writing the poetry. I was like, 'me!' Then he chuckled. I think he thought I was biting off more than I could chew this time, but when he saw and heard the poetry for all the couples, he was really diggin' it. LOL. That's his VO at the beginning.
Actually, I didn't use available lighting on any of this. The mic. lighting was specifically lit that way and different for both actors. Maybe some of the interior lighting shots seem that because I just lit them real basic, but bright - then I didn't have time for any CC. I know there's on scene that I would have liked to have lit better, but the essence of time got the better of me. Doesn't that always happen. Will get to that later.
It's always tough to step out on a limb. Because it was different, I didn't know how people would respond. I liked it and the idea of the story, but we all think our stories are the greatest ever told - until somebody brings us back down to earth.
I have alot of respect for you guys as filmmakers, so I greatly appreciate your comments. At work all day and can't view, but will get to your flicks later tonight!
 
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What can I say? Simply the most inventive, original piece in the festival. Top three material that's technically leaps and bounds ahead of most everything else.

The narrative elements dropped into prose reminds me of beat poetry set to film. Just amazing. Acting is top notch and it looks great.

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Hey Marlon. Good job on this. I like the fact that you used a very unique storytelling device in this. I didn't realize your wrote all the rhymes. That's pretty impressive. I guess I assumed all the actors were doing their own material since the point of views seemed so distinct, especially the females.

Just one question. Was she cheatin' on the brotha or what? :)
 
VERY new to DVXuser, but "Transitions," is one of the best projects I have ever seen . . . film or spoken word. Excellent story telling. Keep it up. - W Bro
 
This was very different and very interesting.

It reminded me of when I used to go to Poetry Slams in NYC.

I loved your actors' voices. I thought the shots of them at the mic were great. The shot of them in "real life" weren't quite as compelling.

Editing wise, I wish the whole piece had intercut between the two of them instead of starting with one and then switching to the other. I think it would have given it a lot more energy, conflict, and passion.

Still, this was very cool and I'm looking forward to seeing the other parts.
 
I think you did a great job on this, but as some like to say, it wasn't my cup of tea.

I'm not really into poetry or experimental films. Yeah, I'm basically a neanderthal, I'll admit I like Bruckheimer movies.:embarasse

But seriously, your film was very impressive and original. Major props!

Look forward to seeing more work from you.
 
Hey, great short. I liked the look and feel and I enjoyed the way you cut this. I thought the poetical rhythm was well crafted. I thought the lighting was nicely done. Great film!
 
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