Losing the passion...

Rylan Zolinski

Rylan Zolinski

Well-known member
About 3 years ago I decided that filming was for me. I loved movies, I loved thinking about them and I loved creating my own ideas. Just 3 months ago I had a bad breakup with my girlfriend. I moved back home (different city) and ever since my passion for filming has disappeared a lot. This worries me in a sense that this was my career option. I actually started a business since I moved back to film corporate videos and weddings and other events. This will be my job, but not my career of choice. I am panicking a bit since my motivation to film my ideas for shorts went out the window. Basically, does this ever happen to you guys/girls?
 
Corporate videos and weddings ain't movies, my friend. I spent many years in graphic design and composing music and it just left a bad taste in my mouth at the end of the day after a while. If you can separate the day-to-day bullshi* from your creative needs you'll be okay. Every lousy job you work is an opportunity gain experience with your equipment or study how light falls on a subject.

Personally, if I had to shoot a couple weddings I think I'd become a janitor or join the Peace Corps immediately. But that's just me. Just shut your brain off from the unimportant stuff and you'll be alright.

Peace,
S-
 
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Exactly. However, you can be creative with your weddings. At the Cinevate webpage you can see an example of a very creative wedding video. Doing Events and Weddings, like semila said, can be a good practice ground for narrative situations. Make sure to keep watching films, however, and never ever lose faith in your ideas: like Rodriguez once said, every one has at least 25 bad films in them before coming up with a better one. Keep going- this is a craft that is not for the weak!
 
I disagree that the type of work is at all involved. How are you interests in other things? Your circle of friends, so forth? I ask because I'm not far from you in that regard. Normally I don't get into who I am on here, but this calls for it. I'm not a filmmaker, videographer or photographer, even though I offer advice on all of these subjects and have experience. I was, but then things didn't go well. Not just in that area. Mentally speaking, I'm not well. I don't get on with my friends like I used to, can't enjoy events the same, haven't even been to anything for a long while. Sort of an emotionally dead feeling. The most important part of this, however, is that my creative ability died. I stopped hearing music in my head a long time ago, and stopped playing any soon after. Now whatever inspired me is gone. I don't see the beauty I once wanted to capture. I no longer care. So I understand the issue.

As for dealing with it, that's a tough issue, especially because I haven't done so. But I did pick up a camera to do an event gig a while back, and it felt nice. Not like it used to, but still nice. So I think, in my case, part of the problem is that I just don't have the drive to really go for it anymore, though knowing that doesn't help. However, I will be moving soon (I'll say again, if anyone in the bay area needs an employee let me know) and basically starting over. Relationships are involved for me, too, but kind of in the opposite way. Still, the point is that I think it helps a lot to not be too comfortable, to jump in and hope you float, to go get some experience. You said you moved back home. That sounds pretty familiar as far as the comfortable location goes, which can in some respects be creatively stifling. Your girlfriend left you or vice versa; I'm sure this has all sorts of emotional impacts and may have changed your lifestyle quite a bit, depending on how dedicated the relationship was and how much time it took. So you need to rediscover where you fit in to the world. You need to get out of that comfort zone, strike out to find whatever it is that inspires you.

Try to think back. What about film inspired you the first time? Was it technicals of aesthetics? If so, get as non-standard and creative as you can. Working with people? Then you need to get people together. I'm sure you see my point here; figure out what you were looking for in film the first time, and see if you can get it again. Or don't. Move on for a while. Someone posted a quote a while back in here that I'd like to find again, about someone who didn't make films until he was 34 or so. He called himself a firm believer in the idea that people should only be creating if they have something to say. Maybe you just don't have anything to say at the moment and need a break. So take it. Look into other fields that interest you, explore a bit, and most likely it'll bring you back to this. If anyone reading this knows the quote I'm talking about, please post it.

This post might have been more about me than you, sorry about that, but it's obviously the only internal experience I have to work off of. Hopefully some of it can help.

To answer the original question... yeah, you're not the only one it happens to.
 
I completely agree with semila58 and share their same point of view.

SPZ said:
Exactly. However, you can be creative with your weddings. At the Cinevate webpage you can see an example of a very creative wedding video. Doing Events and Weddings, like semila said, can be a good practice ground for narrative situations. Make sure to keep watching films, however, and never ever lose faith in your ideas: like Rodriguez once said, every one has at least 25 bad films in them before coming up with a better one. Keep going- this is a craft that is not for the weak!
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Yes, but you can be creative moping a floor. I'm not trying to take a piss on anyone who shoots weddings, but I agree with the previous poster. It seems those who get on the career path they want and hack it out for years are happier then those who take a related but not exactly what they want job for security and then find themselves stuck or dependent on that job.

As for the original poster, losing his ambition. I'd suggest just making a short. See if that magic comes back. If not, there is not much we can do. I hope you figure it out.

PS: Don't worry about the long run. It's never too late to do ANYTHING. I know people who broke into the industry at 30+ years old, with no prior experience. I know people who left the industry at 30+ for careers in totally different fields. I'd never fear that you can't change your mind... unless you suddenly decide to be a brain surgeon or military jet pilot.
 
I think your brain is just trying to protect you from the sting of another rejection, like the one you suffered at the hands of your girlfriend. It's withdrawing you from another passion, filmmaking, so that you don't get hurt if your career doesn't work out...Or, you may just be losing interest. It happens. Sometimes you just gotta let it run its course and move on. Like a relationship. Do something else. See if that motivates you. One day you may be drawn back...That's my amateur psych profile anyway.
 
Never.
I don't shoot alot of film but I have had a video camera in my hand since 1984 and I shoot in good, bad and ugly times. I have never met a human who has shot as much video as I have.
On my days off, it's still what I am doing.
 
I think there is a difference between a lack of motivation/interest/passion and a lack of direction.

If you look at the photos below and have no interest in picking up the camera in the picture and filming something or being on set, you lack motivation/interest..


http://camerarentalz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/element-technica-red-handheld.jpg
http://www.delawareonline.com/blogs/uploaded_images/IMG_3781-784165.JPG
http://blog.mlive.com/annarbornews_impact/2009/03/large_movie031709.JPG


If you look at the photos and get excited about the idea of using a really nice camera and want to pick up the camera/or be on set but don't know what the hell you'd film....you just lack direction.


So if it's definitely a lack of motivation/interest, then take a break. If it still does nothing for you, find something that does.
 

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GoodLuck said:
If you look at the photos below and have no interest in picking up the camera in the picture and filming something or being on set, you lack motivation/interest..
Click to expand...

I disagree. You are obviously a 'tech', which is cool.

I believe it's not what you shoot with, but what you shoot and how you obtain interesting results.

Regarding losing interest, I believe filmmaking is cyclical (even the Greats take time off to recharge their batteries). It's not 100% all the time. In time, you will use the pain to make a better film.
 
cyclone said:
I disagree. You are obviously a 'tech', which is cool.

I believe it's not what you shoot with, but what you shoot and how you obtain interesting results.

Regarding losing interest, I believe filmmaking is cyclical (even the Greats take time off to recharge their batteries). It's not 100% all the time. In time, you will use the pain to make a better film.
Click to expand...

What I was getting at is that sometimes you forget what it's like to hold the camera, to be on set, the excitement that you get out of filmmaking. The excitement of telling a story or filming something and sharing it with people.

If you look at photos like that and it does nothing for you, then maybe you have lost interest. I could show those photos to someone with no interest/passion for filmmaking and they will go "that's nice". And have no interest in doing it. You show it to someone like me or to other filmmakers and it lights a spark. It reminds you visually of how fun and exciting it can be.

In regards to the cyclical thing, I do agree it can be, however I think that's more from a writers perspective, and may not always apply. A writer/filmmaker may be more cyclical because he's waiting on his next great story, he may go long periods of time without filming anything because he's writing or taking time off to recharge his battery so to speak.

I just want to know, do those photos do nothing for you? If someone said hey, I got this gear and you can use it, let's make a movie. Would you pass on the opportunity? If so, then maybe you have lost the passion. If you say sure, lets create something fantastic, but don't know what, you just lack direction, which a lot of filmmakers lack from time to time including myself and end up in sort of a rut that may be confused for a lack of passion.

Just my thoughts. :beer:
 
I find that shooting boring corporate stuff or the like motivates me to do more creative stuff when I can so I can really play with my "toys".
 
Inspiration and creativity are faucets that cannot be ON all the time.

I have a VERY creative job. I'm constantly asked how I come up with the ideas I have. What I keep secret are the THOUSANDS of ideas I have that will NEVER pan out to something creative. But what I do do is continue the process. I continue the process of jotting ideas in notebooks (each one gets half a page to start... might be a word, might be sentence, might be full writing). You need time in your day to talk to your Muse. Sometimes she talks back, mostly not. You develop a relationship with her and she'll walk you thru your ideas.

Sometimes you have to plug and chug to get a job done (military term... here's the checklist you need to follow - plug in the pieces and chug thru to the end). Sometimes what starts out as a plug and chug turns into something special.

Take care of the ideas you have (notice I'm saying idea a lot!!). They are your foster kids. They need caring and feeding. Some of the kids are ugly - don't be afraid to believe in some and eat the others.

But you know what? It IS MY JOB... does creativity/inspiration get harder to find when the mouths of your kids are open and hungry?... does it get harder to find when you realize the 45 men and women who work hard for you AND their families rely on your creativity??

GOD YES!!

Does that make you stop? Nope.

If this is your calling you need to make it work. Whether you are sweeping floors (for now) or logging tapes (for now) or cutting wedding/corporate videos (for now) -- you MUST keep the ideas flowing. THAT is your job... THAT is what the Muse wants... THAT is what people expect from you... THAT is what will pay the bills when YOU are in charge.

Else... go work for someone who will tell YOU what to do and enjoy being part of the process.

To answer your question, "Basically, does this ever happen to you...?"

YES! ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME!

CaptM
 
I've had days where every single morning on location I stood in the shower at 5 am repeating to myself that there's only X days left until I can go home, only X days.

There are times that the most unappealing thing in the whole world, is working on whatever show I happen to be working on.

There are time's I'd rather pick up the camera and fling it into freeway traffic, than turn it on and frame up a shot.

None of which matters, at all, not a little bit. You practice your profession, whether you feel like it, or not.
 
GoodLuck said:
I think there is a difference between a lack of motivation/interest/passion and a lack of direction.

If you look at the photos below and have no interest in picking up the camera in the picture and filming something or being on set, you lack motivation/interest..


http://camerarentalz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/element-technica-red-handheld.jpg
http://www.delawareonline.com/blogs/uploaded_images/IMG_3781-784165.JPG
http://blog.mlive.com/annarbornews_impact/2009/03/large_movie031709.JPG


If you look at the photos and get excited about the idea of using a really nice camera and want to pick up the camera/or be on set but don't know what the hell you'd film....you just lack direction.


So if it's definitely a lack of motivation/interest, then take a break. If it still does nothing for you, find something that does.
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Of course this makes me want to go out and shoot. I still head over to Reduser every other day to see if there are any updates on the Scarlet. I feel a bit dead inside, but I still catch myself thinking of ideas for films and what films made me want to shoot in the first place.

You know, what really is a drawback for me as well is that I am not comfortable directing actors yet. Whether they are skilled or right out of the drama theater, I still don't have the experience nor am I comfortable directing them. I haven't had to yet, but I am going to need to eventually. It almost freaks me out a bit. Any advice on that?
 
Have you lost interest in anything else? It doesn't sound as though you lost interest in film - it sounds as though you've had a bad breakup and you are messed up over it.

(Been there, done that)

It will return to you. If you feel dead inside, consider looking into having a depression screening. Doesn't make you any less of a person if you have it. It might all be mental.

I wouldn't worry about it. You need time to heal before you are back at it.
 
Very cool thread, it's not about MKII or GH1 this time, lol
Anyway, we all go through dry spells and inspirational spells, sometimes we buy gear like a girl buys clothes to cheer us up or motivate us. But the thing is we need to surround ourselves with creative influences and people. We all get feedback off each other and it makes us want to make our own mark, inspiration comes in all forms, from a Ridley Scott film, a tragic story or the girl we just saw at the strip bar last night. What makes you get up in the morning and say , i know what i'm on this earth for! (besides the girl at the bar). God when i saw Slumdog Millionaire or Australia, or even Planet Terror, i was glad i was a fillmmaker not just a film watcher.

Like a beautiful classic car, if it just sits after awhile , it runs rough and then eventually it wont start at all. Good Luck and truly the best to you, I've been there! Great thread btw
Cheers
 
jordan hit it.......and don't drink on a regular basis. you'll get more done sober. i don't presume that you (OP) do, but if you do, knock it off, because it will become a problem. bit of a drinker myself, and it has caused problems for me in the past. not worth it. just my 2 cents.
 
Morox said:
You know, what really is a drawback for me as well is that I am not comfortable directing actors yet. Whether they are skilled or right out of the drama theater, I still don't have the experience nor am I comfortable directing them. I haven't had to yet, but I am going to need to eventually. It almost freaks me out a bit. Any advice on that?
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Sounds like you are quitting before you've really started then. The topic is worth a whole new thread in itself. But just in a quick answer I'd say that most directors tend to review the actor's character with each actor prior and what they want to achieve in regards to the performance. That allows the actor some time to practice it. And then when on set, you can do multiple takes until you get what you want, if it's not delivered. That's at the most basic level. Review prior, multiple fine tuned takes on set to get what you want. However in the real world of indie film, your first goal is to get the dialogue said clearly without a problem and no camera/technical issues in the process. Often actors may mess up the lines, won't remember them all, or you're camera shots may not be as smooth and you'll have to redo it. So getting the shot right in itself is the first step. This may mean waiting until the plane finishes flying over head or the car alarm up the street goes off. Perfecting the performances is the icing on the cake and takes a lot of patience. There are books out there you can read, you might be better off finding other indie productions in your area and signing on as a PA to see how they do it and how their actors respond.
 
GoodLuck said:
There are books out there you can read, you might be better off finding other indie productions in your area and signing on as a PA to see how they do it and how their actors respond.
Click to expand...

Directing Actors by Judith Weston is the best book I've read on the subject. Even if you don't follow her advice step by step, she'll get you approaching actors and acting in the right way. The rest comes from experience.
 
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