Looking for feedback.

And decide about using cinemascope ratio BEFORE you shoot your stuff.Man's close up also should be on telephoto not on wide like that, she's on wide so when you want to bring him closer using such lens as you used then it doesnt work, it looks like you was running around from her to him with the same lens.
 
I hate 2.40:1 for almost everything that people use it for on this site.

However, if you are going to use it... then frame people, and have them act in the frame. In the opening shot... it took me a moment to realize that the 'rug' looking thing in the bottom left corner was the guy's... well rug if he were wearing a tupee...

At 00:29, there's a close up with the woman, and the guy looks like his head is just hovering over the bottom frame. I would suggest, strongly, to get the camera up higher, shooting down, place the woman slightly further right, but have the guy at least waist up, in the frame. And on the woman's side... the close crop on her, led to the top of her head, even down to eyebrows being clipped... A couple of things I've been noticing, is how actors 'move' in a frame, and one will watch the movies, and the actors often don't bob around, move side to side, or if they do, the frame has breathing space. Another thing I've been noticing is blinking... frequently actors don't blink in a shot...

In another shot the woman's torso is in the frame, and eventually her head follow in, at 1:43... If one watches 2.40:1 films, very frequently there will be camera motion up, down, often very slow, that allows us to watch a waist up shot of a person, sit down... the camera pans down as the person seats themselves... rather than dropping into a static frame... that is see too, but I didn't see a motivation in the scene for that sort of thing, as there was already a pan from the guy to the the girl.


Speaking of the first two shot... the guy sounds 'way far away'... Because of the shot framing, angling, etc. this looks like a situation where a lavalier would be appropriate, or perhaps a boomed mic 'hidden' by the woman, and the boom operator perhaps lying on the floor.

Speaking of dialog... to expository.
 
bwwd said:
And decide about using cinemascope ratio BEFORE you shoot your stuff.Man's close up also should be on telephoto not on wide like that, she's on wide so when you want to bring him closer using such lens as you used then it doesnt work, it looks like you was running around from her to him with the same lens.
Click to expand...

The first part is amusing since the entire project was shot with an anamorphic lens, not cropped after the fact. I do agree with what you are saying about the lensing, i was restricted to a 50mm because it was the only lens I had available at the time, I have since fixed this problem.
 
@J1Clarke Thank you so much for your useful feed back. I know where I have gone wrong with the audio (plent of time swearing at myself at the NLE). I will work on a more appropiate establishing shot next time around. I found everything you said to be insightful and I will be going over the piece again with your critique and check out my trouble spots directly. As any novice filmmaker, i am not pleased with the piece and I have learned alot from all that I did incorrectly.

Also thank you to Polfilmblog for your insight as well, I will be buying a ton of CTO for future projects.
 
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