DOC: Looking for criticism! A mini doc about urban farming with hydroponics

Darren Levine

Darren Levine

Veteran
Sony threw a nice curveball with their fs7 competition, that curveball being make a documentary with a maximum of 2 minutes runtime.

Here is my entry, which despite my own remaining nitpicks, i need to step away from for at least a few hours, in that time i'm hoping to get some constructive criticism on the piece. Too fast/too slow/good info/bad info/not clear/etc.../etc...

Please keep in mind the 2 minute restriction, making comments about being too short or not going into enough detail won't be quite so helpful ;)

enjoy


 
Just two quick notes - the voice track starts centered, and then on the cut at :09 seconds it jumps conspicuously to the right channel - very distracting. Also, to me, the choice of music (this particular piece) was not super optimal - too complex, too much going on, the music itself was calling attention to itself too much (plus the piano was too loud).
 
Thanks Corpse for catching that missing voice track, and i do see your point on the music, so i notched it down a bit, don't know if i'll have any brainjuice left to vet another track before the deadline.
 
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