Logline, please help!

[clang]

An aspiring criminal profiler and her classmates must fight for their lives after they find themselves trapped in a fun house that is more death than fun.

I like this too, although maybe squeeze the word 'university' in there somewhere at the start?

 

[David W. Richardson]

Or rather than "university", how about "college"? As in, "An aspiring criminal profiler and her college classmate must fight for their lives after they become trapped in a fun house that is more death than fun!" (I've never liked the phrase "find themselves".)

But I think you've got it pretty well nailed. Good job!

 

[mikewest13]

"An aspiring criminal profiler and her college classmate must fight for their lives after they inadvertently become trapped in a fun house that is more death than fun!"

 

[David W. Richardson]

I'd leave out 'inadvertently'. After all, who would get 'trapped' on purpose?

 

[mikewest13]

well, they actually sneak in after they suspect its not quite up to snuff... so its kinda their fault, lol

 

[David W. Richardson]

I get that, but getting 'inadvertently trapped' seems redundant to me.