Local commercial

I like the concept. The editing could have been a little faster-paced, especially at the start.

One of the things that really makes a local commercial appear "local" is terrible audio. The VO here sounded like it was recorded on a Fisher Price microphone... bad frequency response (may also be from the compression), lots of plosives, and overmodulation. A clean VO can really make your project stand out. And the FX editing on the keyboard had a few sync problems.

For the second half, when the guy walks into the shop... was the VO time-expanded? It sounds like it was slowed down to stretch it out, and it has a sort of synthetic speed to it.

Also, is there a reason that your audio is sort of split? The VO is coming from the left, but the music and FX are centered.
 
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Good job. I agree with CV2's comments about the audio, but overall I thought it was fun..

Couple of thoughts - First, the main actor has some Olympic level sideburns - which were distracting.
When I watched the piece with my wife, she commented on the sideburns. By the time I reacted
to her comment and looked back, half the commercial was over. This is the danger of casting actors
with unique or unusual looks.

Second, the commercial seemed to be both a parody and a serious commercial. It's alright for a
commercial to be funny (it can be very effective), but too many jokes takes away from the
credibility of the message. After the second "cha-ching" I don't think I'd trust my computer there.

Now, you may have meant it as a parody. If so, I'm an old fuddy-duddy and you can ignore my
comments completely :)

I hope this is helpful.

Peter
 
blackdogs377 said:
oh god
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So glad you chimed in. Thanks.

dane, it is alright for a first try. Since the audio was touched on, lets talk camera.

Most of the shots in the commercial seem like they are all at (or slightly below) eye level. This is a view we see all the time! Give us some interesting compositions! For instance, taking the tripod down about 12 inches and moving it slightly right for the keyboard shot would be a huge improvement. We would get depth, the movement of the hands would be more dynamic, and we would see less of the pretty boring desk all for three more seconds of work!

Likewise, pay attention to what is in your frame. When you go to the wides of the computer shop we can see all manner of wires and routers and such in the background by the baseboard making it seem cluttered and unkempt. Just take a few minutes and move that stuff out of the way. Or you could frame tighter, which is the approach I probably would have taken since the shop itself isn't the nicest looking location.

Your shots in the opening sequence are pretty blue. That should be easy to pull back to neutral in your editing program with either curves or a 3-way color corrector.

Basically, after you set up your shot, look at it for a moment. Is there anything in the frame that shouldn't be there? Is there anything that isn't included that should be? Am I making good use of negative space or am I just framed too loosely? These little simple things can make a huge difference in production quality for very, very little effort. You just have to take a minute and think about it.

Keep on shooting.
 
After watching again, and agreeing with William on what he said, I'd like to add...

The text overlay was a bit unsightly. It reminds me of editing on a Paltex with a late-80's vintage Chyron. Also, towards the end of the spot, where the guy gets his computer back, he stares at the camera for a second, as if waiting for a cue to pick up the CPU and walk to the door. In other words, it looks like he's waiting for a cue. This comes across as a terrible edit that left in too much of the head of the shot.

Also, the store info at the end (again, unsightly text) made no sense over the shot of the car pulling away. For a local business commercial, it's pretty standard (and boring) to close on a shot of the store front. To shake things up a bit, set up some computer gear and get a lock-down, or even a slight push, on it. Put the store info over that. At least it will have something to do with the shop. You aren't selling cars.
 
agreeing with William. I think the shots could have been a little better composed. I usually spend my time on each shot unless I'm being told what the client wants then that's a completely different topic.

Good attempt for your 1st attempt.

I'm sure your next one will be a lot better.
 
CV2,
The mic is not Fisher Price. They were all out. So I had to settle for a cheap mic from Walmart that is plugged into my laptop. That being said, I realize the audio is terrible and that is one of the reasons I am on here. So far what you and the others have said is great information. When you talk about frequency response, are you referring to how well the cheap mic responds to the frequency that it is processed in? I am using Adobe Soundbooth to record the VO and am still learning the software as well. I added some effects to the voice to make it sound that bad. I knew it was bad, but I put it out there so someone like yourself with some sound experience could help me out. So thank you
 
William,
From the camera perspective, awesome. It is unbelievable how much goes into making a shot look good. I really appreciate your tips on shot composition. I have thought about perhaps some less boring set ups, however, I just assume that I am getting too crazy or something. I guess you could say I am still a little camera shy in that respect...these responses will help me get over that.
 
dane76 said:
The mic is not Fisher Price. They were all out.
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Nice. :beer:

dane76 said:
So I had to settle for a cheap mic from Walmart that is plugged into my laptop.
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And it sounds like a cheap mic from Wal Mart plugged into your laptop. Not trying to be harsh, but cheap audio is much more expensive in the long run.

dane76 said:
When you talk about frequency response, are you referring to how well the cheap mic responds to the frequency that it is processed in? I am using Adobe Soundbooth to record the VO and am still learning the software as well.
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With frequency response, I'm talking about how much of the sound spectrum is picked up. Audio (as far as human hearing is concerned) goes from 20Hz (bass) to 20kHz (highs). A telephone picks up a very small portion of that spectrum in the mids. Your laptop mic isn't picking up a whole lot more. The other challenge with those cheap PC mics is that they aren't the strongest mics in the world, and laptop pre-amps are quite bad. So you have a signal that is unstable at best as it comes into the computer... either really low and with the pre-amp adding/amplifying noise (hiss) or overmodulating the input and creating distortion.

What effects did you add to the VO?

Honestly, you have a great tool at your disposal for in-a-pinch VO recording: your DVX. Plug a good mic in there (even a Rode NTG-2) and record at close range (6"... proper pop filters in place) straight to DV. Record in your closet (especially if it's full of hanging clothes). It'll come out much better than the Wally-World mic. Then you can capture the audio from tape with the rest of your footage. Just set your record levels to average around -12dB (the cross-marked segment of the DVX meters), peaking not too much above that.

For recording straight into your computer, whether you use Sound Booth or STP or Cubase or ProTools, you really need a better audio interface with good pre-amps and XLR ins... and a better mic.

It was hard to discern the overall audio just because there was a heavy swirling of compression, and I don't know if that's from your compression before YouTube upload, the YouTube compression, or (most likely) a combination of the two. But the one thing that is very clear is that the VO is panned ot the left while everything else is centered. This is distracting. Probably not an issue if your local station doesn't broadcast in stereo, but even then the mix will change slightly as it is summed to mono.
 
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CV2,
I actually did record the fx sounds in a closet (tape, sip, keyboard clicks). As far as effects on the VO. I used a couple of voice enhancers....obviously designed for use with a good clean source file as you said before.
As far as DVX recording, I typically go tapeless straight to the laptop via firewire. Will this method work the same for the audio if I am using the xlr in?
 
dane76 said:
CV2
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C2V

dane76 said:
I actually did record the fx sounds in a closet (tape, sip, keyboard clicks). As far as effects on the VO. I used a couple of voice enhancers....obviously designed for use with a good clean source file as you said before.
Click to expand...

"Voice enhancer" can mean a million different things, and I'd be wary of any filter or plug-in that claims to do that at the click of a button. Most VOs that are done properly, aside from being recorded with a really good mic in a sound-treated studio, are treated with a careful combination of compression and EQ. Read up on what compressors and EQ filters do, and how to use them.

dane76 said:
As far as DVX recording, I typically go tapeless straight to the laptop via firewire. Will this method work the same for the audio if I am using the xlr in?
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Yes, that will work.
 
Alan,
Thank you for your response. I am so glad that I have this resource with so many knowledgeable people to help me out. With all of this good info, my next one is sure to be much better. I am going to try to make the improvements on this one so I can re-post again with a better finished product.
 
In a pinch you could use the on camera mic and record your voiceover in a car with cloth interior. Cars make good guerilla recording booths. On the indoor side I do voiceovers with an AT2020 USB condensor mic. It's not an SM7 but it sounds nice. A good mic will take you a LONG way.
 
Peter,
The sideburns.....the actor and I discussed the "no shave November" sideburns before we shot the footage, however, I did not bring my hedge trimmers with me when we shot. I agree they are slightly ridiculous.
Your comment about the Cha-ching tells me that apparently I missed the mark as far as the message I was trying to convey. It was supposed to touch on the potential a computer has to make money and what a huge asset they can be. So when your computer takes a vacation...no more cha-ching. I can definitely see where you are coming from with the blend of serious and comedy. It is amazing how much thought really needs to go into aligning every element of a piece to make it work. I actually threw myself into making this commercial so I can learn. It seems to have been the right thing to do, because I am learning a ton. Thank you so much for your thoughts and comments. Tell your wife thank you as well.
 
Brickhouse,
It seems to be the general consensus...get a good mic Dane. Again this is my first attempt at really adding any fx and VO, but I know how important the audio is to making the footage really stand out. Thanks for the VO tips and hardware suggestion.
 
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