Let's see those great Monsterfest scripts-

Tim Joy

Tim Joy

Veteran
The quality of the entries in these festivals is constantly improving, especially now with the new 'cheap' cameras that look great right out of the box.
One area that is always the most difficult for me, and the place where many entries suffer is the WRITING.

Since the script is where it all starts, and it's really tough to make a great movie out of a not-so-great script, I suspect that many people will get an eye opener at what a great 6-minute script looks like, and it might help them write stronger shorts that are more focused and engaging for Betrayal Fest .

So- I kindly request that the winners, and some not-so-winners, to post their scripts (or outlines or whatever you used to shoot with) here so we can all see where you started from, and compare it to what you ended up with, either as a jpg so we can read it right here, or a link to download a pdf.

Thanks! and Congrats to ALL!
 
Here's the script for Red and the Wolf.

For my film Innocence in Twilightfest I wrote a six and a half page script and the runtime ended closer to 9 min. So this time around I wanted to find something around four pages just to be safe.
 

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  • RED AND THE WOLF - AJ BROOKS.pdf
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Thanks for posting that AJ. That's a great read.

And not even four pages... which made for a 6-minute film with a very good pace to it, not too rushed, not too slow, (although I imagine you might have a longer cut in mind?) :)

Hmm. I think next time I'll limit myself to 3 1/2 pages. Betrayal Fest might be calling.
 
There's a lot to be said for that, Tim. I think Dispatch was under two pages. Slimothy (Tim Hyten) would need to confirm that, though.
 
I think for shortfilms the whole 1 page 1 minute rule doesn't apply as well.

In a feature there is a lot more time for things to even out between the scenes that got extended from the script and the scenes that played out shorter.
 
Blaine said:
There's a lot to be said for that, Tim. I think Dispatch was under two pages. Slimothy (Tim Hyten) would need to confirm that, though.
Click to expand...

Hell, there's only 42 words spoken in it...I couldn't imagine it being much longer.:Drogar-BigGrin(DBG)
 
The Devil's Toy

The Devil's Toy

Here is the original draft (The Box) and the final draft.
 

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  • The Box.pdf
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  • The Devils Toy-v2.pdf
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Script for The Tell

Script for The Tell

Here is the final version of The Tell.

Related to the "one page equal one minute" discussion above, The Tell presented an interesting challenge. Before shooting, we had to create and record all of the music. If you listen, the music is just one long song. So, using the script Devon and I went section by section and estimated the time needed for the action in each section. We then wrote a description of the look/feel for that section of the music. Finally, I recorded the verses and tune playing my guitar into the voice recorder on my iPhone. (I have this original sound file but haven't figured out how to post just a sound file. I might lay it down on a black video line and post it that way. I think people might get a kick out of hearing the origins.)

We sent all of this to Jake Oken-Berg, a local musician (solo artist and lead singer of The Retrofits) who wrote the full "score", keeping it to the time limits we outlined.

To close the loop on how we produced it, Jake and a female singer friend of his sang a reference track. Then, the week before we shot, we brought in the actors (Todd and Norm) as well as Ellie Simnitt (singing double for Jillian) to record their vocals. So, on the set, the all lip synced to the actual track.
 

Attachments

  • The Tell v5.pdf
    36.2 KB · Views: 0
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