Lawrie's Reviews/Feedback Gathered in one Hellish Place

Chris Messineo said:
Hell, you made a film and that's more than most can say - look at the dozens who started threads only to drop out.
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And that there is the very least you can take way - which is a fair effort IMO.

Jace take a look around this forum. 80,000 members approx. How many made something for this fest? How many mode something for any reason in the past few months. Id say your in a group of around 5% of the total membership and off that probably 2.5% made a narrative.

Pretty good going on your part wouldnt you say?

One thing about doing this job - every day you put your work out there for everyone to see. Its a very honest profession. Not only that it takes guts to let everyone hold your work up to the light and examine every second / every component / every breathe of it. That's the reality of this job though. You either create and hide it in your basement or put it out there.

Critique is just that, critique. Not everyone's going to follow the same path of delivery and some people believe that not giving you the honest truth from their perspective would be doing you a disservice but, like anything in life you can either take it or leave it.
 
One of my favorite quotes is, "Everyone has and opinion just like having an A-hole, some just stink worse than others". Point being, when someone critiques your work, that is their opinion and it might stink all the way to high heaven. I have read a few of Lawrie's reviews and personally don't agree with some of his points or how he has a weird sense of subjugation attached to his comments but at least he spends the time thinking about it. You all rock for making this a community of film makers and nice to see discourse occurring.. I am just an outsider looking in and have a stinky butt too :Drogar-Smoke(DBG):
 
...or the other quote works just as well:
"Opinions are like orgasms. Mine's important and i dont care if she has one."

:)
 
I have read a few of Lawrie's reviews and personally don't agree with some of his points or how he has a weird sense of subjugation attached to his comments
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Now I too don't agree with the weird sense of irrelevance you raise, in a simple attempt to brandish a personal critique of me. If you want to disagree with anything I have to say about a film, do it in relation to my comments about that film and leave me out of it thank you very much.

The Token
This film showcases some beautiful and very professional visuals - both with the cinematography and the colour grading. For that and the films excellent production values - I give it a big thumbs up!

Where the film struggled I think - was in how it attempted to create a sense of suspense - and a heartfelt sense of conflict (with our German Officers soul) over how he is behaving (to the types of people he may have once played with as a child.) This nostalgic childhood kind of reminisent is not an unfamiliar theme in war films - its a classic trope, but for it to work it has to have such a ball grabbing level of intensity - of feeling - that we really feel our nuts getting crushed seeing what this officer might or might not do. Not just that - but more importantly - we should feel that conflict play out much louder (in his heart) than with what evidence we are provided in the flashbacks.

That is - the flashbacks are cute BUT do they build up the kind of high noon stand off (that makes our officers battle of indoctrination vs soul) something deep and memorable?) Or is it just pretty and slightly forgettable.

I think unfortunately it falls to the later - because we do not have the opportunity to really feel that intensity. Everything else - gorgeous, shiny as a belt buckle, but it lacks fire imo.

Someone who is probably the indisputed master of setups/flashbacks is Sergio Leonne - and like yours these flashbacks are interwoven piece meal through the mainform narrative to a climactic conclusion.

Spoilers
Once Upon a Time in the West
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kD54-q1uFM

Duck you Suckers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGif...e=results_main

Of course those films are a product of the style of their time, and its not to say that the film requires as melodramatic an impact but... something of that sort would have struck the spirit with a more positive remembrance for your character and film.
 
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EJBinSD said:
Hey, Jace it was still better than Prometheus.
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Bull! I enjoyed prometheus :p …. its just that they need to FIRE the writer hahah. But seriously it would have been cinematic gold if they had a good writer on board with the directional genius of Ridley Scott. Ah well. No such thing as perfect movies these days.
Anyway thanks :)
 
In time, on these fests, you'll start to realize who's trying to help, who doesn't give a crap, and who's just blowing smoke up your butt. There are a couple of members that I usually seek out to look at my stuff because a.) they're going to be brutally honest with me and b.) not "play nice" just to play nice. Lawrie is one of them. He tells you what he thinks, and moves on. Charli is another. They're both to the point and if you're in the wrong mood can come off as harsh. But the thing is, they're going to tell you the truth without trying to fluff your ego. THAT'S why I seek them out. You'll get enough praise from others, so it's good to listen to what they say for the sheer fact of bettering yourself. It's nothing personal, but it definitely feels that way. But just remember that each person is just one person. Unfortunately the "bad" reviews stick in your head more. Much like if five people say "You look good today," and someone says, "Those shoes are ugly," the latter is what you'll remember later.

I look forward to seeing yours.
 
When people are being truly honest and as long as you're at least eventually open to it it's always helpful in the long run, even if it seems hurtful in the moment. One of the most common pieces of advice I've gotten but one of the truly hardest to actually put into practice. But if we didn't have reviewers we'd only be making this work for ourselves and, at least in my book, the best work comes from when you're forced relentlessly to clarify and communicate because it's not strictly your work/story any more.
 
Blooming real life releasnig my feature trailer and press stuff has dragged me away from doing more reviews - however if there are folks in the contest wanting my feedback, just post here and i'll get you a response!
 
Lawrie I would love a response! Didn't get one for villainfest, so I'm looking forward to this one. And by "looking forward" I mean terrified. The film is called "(En)Listless"
 
En(Listless)
Right this is an interesting film - that has a promising concept that other filmmakers could learn from imo - especially those with artistic pretention.

1) PTSD
2) Original and Disturbing depiction of PTSD
3) Wrapped in a comedy.

Those ingredients could buy you an indie film playing at Telluride hehe.

But its a difficult balancing act (and at the risk of offence, DVXFESTs are not often the best venue for these kinds of complex divisive ideas.)

I think you get a lot right with this, but where it goes wrong (i think it does) critically. It is with the extent and manner of your comedy - these ideas work as a black comedy with a kind of circumstantial comedic aspect (as in how his tragic remember... tragic loss of his friend, affects his daily life.) I also like the irony of before and after (and in this context the music actually works but...)

While you had it right with the ingredients - the direction seems to imo... lack a confidence in your own idea. The hamminess of the performances - the over the top aspects were not... required to make this funny or for it to work. It could have been closer to the bone, more black, and still be amusing and disquietly disturbing.

By having this kind of Adam Sandler esque characterisation you are LOSING the power of your concept and giving it away to a kind of short term/insecure agitated gain - like the ott nervousness of your actor, it seems to be reflected too in aspects of the films edit and delivery.

The VERY SAME script, and SAME CAST AND GEAR hehe, but with a different direction of your actors, (strip it back) and less obvious comedic ironic music - something more real, would have made this piece a strong contender, not just for its few (uneasy laughs) but for its tragic aspects.

This is a much more ambitious war film than the token, that it fails to deliver (in comparison to the token) is something you can rectify by following your original convictions harder imo!

(Yes im aware i make a terrible number of assumptions in this feedback, apolagies for that:)


Battle Portlandia
Yep this was an amusing film on the superficial level - (and is all the more amusing and affectionately so) among fellow filmmakers (be warned - less so imo, to a discerning indifferent audience!)

The story is a set of skits among different pop cultural groups with the odd (unexpected individual) though for a sec I though the mountain man would be a hipster haha (if he had skinny jeans and pilot shades!)

so this was a 'fun' and irreverent little film, that was all very geeky and silly. Which is part of its charm, there have been (in the cinematic evolution of things) sophisticated attempts at this kind of geek-pop-culture-humour in films, especially as nerdomia becomes an ever increasing pop cultural obsession and commodity.

So yoru film certainly filled the criteria of 'crowd-pleaser' and had moments of fun - creative and novel ideas that I think indicate a somewhat irreverent and creative mind!
 
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Thanks, Hawk.

When I give feedback, it's not to pat anyone in the back. Do you know how many screenwriters actually finish a screenplay and it totally bombs? So for me (and I'm probably one of the few) a finished film product isn't enough. It takes more time to write 40,000 word script (6 months to a year) than to finish a 6 minute short, from my point of view.

I am always truthful in my feedback without any bias. Even the guys I get along with and are buddies, I will butcher their film. It's not personal. You put a product out there and I will tell you what I saw, how I felt, etc. This type of honesty doesn't make me popular among those who always seem to get a pat on the back for their "stunning visual" work.

With Lawrie, hey, he's across the pond and honestly, sometimes I understand HALF of his feedback. But it's always welcomed because he has such a unique intellectual style that if you really read his feedback, you might actually get something from it.

Back at the screenwriting forums the hardest thing was to put up 5 pages for people to critique. Screenwriters show no mercy. As long as the critique is not a personal attack, it was allowed because you MUST DEVELOP THICK SKIN AND QUIT DEFENDING YOURSELF.

You take the feedback that is "consistent" and then you can toss away the rest. The goal is to become better filmmakers. The way to get there is to listen to what others have to say about your work and to listen OBJECTIVELY.

I went to Santa Monica's Writer's Bootcamp (prestigious screenwriting workshop) and there was one rule we could not break: When you read your synopsis to the class, allow the class to give crique and you say NOTHING. Let me tell you, to listen to your classmates tell you what they don't like about your script to your face far worse than words on a forum page.

This little pond of DVX forum is nothing compared to Hollywood or film festivals. If you can't take criticism here then don't expect to appreciate it there because here we''re minnows compared to the sharks in Hollywood. Just saying...

Lawrie, your feedback is always anticipated so keep it up!
 
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I reckon the qualification of feedback is based really on what that individual has achieved, experienced and succeeded in (to the individual recieving the feedback.) Doesn't make the critic (or flatterer) automatically right all of the time, and we are always still learning of course, but I will always consider my harshest critics more if they have goods to back it up, and be more likely to temper (but importantly - not dismiss) the critiques of those who are obviously inexperienced or immature.

Charli cited a difficulty to understand a part of mine, but it can be hard to for folks providing feedback from different directions, IE. Is it coming from a scriptwriter? A producer, a director and so forth. Charli's is very much imo focussed from a screenwriters perspective, mines very much from a producer/director others will be variations - some technical others intellectual. It can actually take real EFFORT to decipher critique from a direction we don't care for! I know some tech guys who hate the arty intellectual critique (and vice a versa) to the point where it is wrongly ignored imo.

I think when we get critical feedback that does need some deciphering we can be prone to falling back om immediate and gratifying -easy emotional rejections. Typical replies being like
1) 'well hey bro... all me ol' mates saw it (argh me hearties) and they looooved it... so you stoopid)
2) 'well hey bro... at bandcamp (film-school or whatever metaphorical equivalent) they taught us to make (insert generic impossible to rebuke positivist word) eg. 'GOOD' films so thats why i made the bit your critiquing and thats why your wrong.
3) Bro I don't think you get.... that some films are allowed to be 'just' entertaining instead of all arty.... (somebody who has never seen a Chris Nolan film...)

The list could go on hehe

The same goes for those unused to feedback, JaceBrownlow I'm sure you wouldn't deny you fell victim to that but won't be so sensitive next fest?
 
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Lawrie, my critique is focused on writing, but I also notice details others may miss (sunglasses on dead guy who took a piss) but that's part of writing too in that actions must have a plausible believability.

And as far as understanding half of what you say, uh, you're just so freakin' intellectual, I have no problems stating you're way smarter than me and your style of critique is uber cool. :)
 
Awe hey i wouldnt say that haha - but thanks for the compliment! Its good that you point out continuity issues (I'm terrible at noticing these even in the films I direct) but you know its always been the writer that notices (in my smaller crews often serving as continuity expert too.) I'm glad to say i always stop to listen to what the writer has to say about these little details.
 
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