Inundate (Student Film)

M

michael rees

New member
Dear other filmmakers that are reading this thread, my name is Michael Rees. I am a 16 year old aspiring filmmaker/director of photography. I recently finished working on my latest short film called "Inundate." If you guys have the time, I would love some constructive criticism on my work. I realize it's not perfect, but I worked very hard and I hope you enjoy it. Thanks!

View on ExposureRoom:
http://exposureroom.com/members/MichaelRees/10b8718c6019468dba7d635de3ee96be/

Or, view on Vimeo:
http://vimeo.com/22261575

Also, I would love as many people to see my work as possible. So show your friends, family, etc. via Facebook or Twitter. THANKS!
 
Coming from another high school student, I'm just gonna tell you that i loved it. Most of our work wont even be watched here, its like saying your a student scares people away..

Anyways, i thought the production value was great, what did you shoot it on? Which HDSLR to be exact.

Heres a link to my latest short that was super rushed, but you know how it goes.

http://vimeo.com/19958768?ab

Also i was wondering where you found that actor, is he a real actor or just someone you know?
 
ok this is gonna suck cuz i really dont have time right now...but i'll come back. I watched it without sound cuz i couldn't turn it on at the time...but i got to see the visuals. the biggest prob you have is the 180 degree rule. you break it like crazy during the film. So YouTube that and learn it. Overall it looks fine though. really good for 16 year old. gotta run. later.
 
1. Work on cutting the opening shots down in length. Also when the boy is drowning I wouldn't cut back and forth so much with the same kind of shots, probably just cut that down too.
2. The therapist sitting in the center of the shot was a little off putting, would have been better to have him in the right third of the screen more.
3. Acting was good.
4. I like the look of it. CC seemed pretty consistant.
5. When our main guy first starts talking the 180 dedgree rule is broken badly, it looks as if there's an extra character there. I rewatched that wondering what was happening.
 
Hey guys, I know I broke the 180 degree rule. I was in a rush and it slipped my mind. Thanks for all of the contructive comments though. Everything you say is being saved in my memory for future use!
 
michael rees said:
Dear other filmmakers that are reading this thread, my name is Michael Rees. I am a 16 year old aspiring filmmaker/director of photography. I recently finished working on my latest short film called "Inundate." If you guys have the time, I would love some constructive criticism on my work. I realize it's not perfect, but I worked very hard and I hope you enjoy it. Thanks!

View on ExposureRoom:
http://exposureroom.com/members/MichaelRees/10b8718c6019468dba7d635de3ee96be/

Or, view on Vimeo:
http://vimeo.com/22261575

Also, I would love as many people to see my work as possible. So show your friends, family, etc. via Facebook or Twitter. THANKS!
Click to expand...

The voiceover at the beginning was really good and helped set the tone; however, starting off with an alarm wake-up sequence is pretty much at the top of every "do not do" or "film making cliches to avoid" list and really killed the mood that you originally established in the first 47 seconds. There was some really harsh/hard lighting when showing the waking up scene that didn't really match the darker lighting at 1:36 and over exposure thereafter. One recommendation would be to cutout the VO and waking up scene that starts at the 00:48 mark, and instead start with the curtain clip at the 1:36 mark, then maybe jump to the clip at 2:49 in the bathroom. Opening the curtain is a cool look from behind, but the next clip again kills the mood with the yawning and more VO. If you cut all of that out and just went from the curtain to the pic book at 2:02, or something else, that might be better, just as tmnt recommended in his post. IMO, you could probably cut out everything between 48 seconds and the 3 minute mark. Showing a person waking up, showering, and getting ready is kinda boring, but most importantly, it is very distracting and makes me forget about those awesome first 48 seconds that you created.
 
nice man, I like what your doing! I'm a high school student too, keep up the good work!
watch your focus, the 180degree rule
and see if you could cut down this short because there is a lot of content that could be taken out.
13minutes is long.....try 8!
 
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